Graduate / Master in Finance from University of Houston - Goal Statement Letter- feedback [3]

Goal Statement Letter which specifies what the applicant expects to accomplish by completing this program and how it is related to his or her long term professional objectives is required

It is a day I imagine it to be after I get my Master in Finance from University of Houston. I, an analyst in Merger and Acquisition department, work in an investment bank such as J.P. Morgan Chase and AIG in Dallas or Houston. At 6:00 am, I wake up, go to gym and quickly check Bloomberg or Yahoo Finance for any breaking news to identifying new business opportunities. Arriving at office, my day begins with checking e-mails. After that, I start to run valuation model on spreadsheets to assess a deal's desirability at once. At 10:00am, I finish up pitch book for upcoming presentation. After lunch, I am staffed on multiple mandates at a time. Having had a conference call with deal team, I put together a few public information books and balance out discounted cash flow model. Afterwards, I gather industry reports and present it to senior analyst. At 7:00, I meet with the director to discuss how to update pitch book and spend one hour to make changes to it before sending to the director. When I head home, it is about 10 o'clock. It is a fast-paced job under huge pressure, but I love it just because of investment bank's dynamic nature.

After two or three years of extensive experience and networking, I will progress to an associate who have a team of analysts working for me. After further three years, I may move to vice-president (VP), managing the day-to-day work of both associates and analysts. I will contact with clients more frequently and may have my own customers. My next goal is director or executive director and then managing director, although promotion beyond VP is difficult. However, being a managing director is not my ultimate objective. One day I will build up my own investment bank which can design strategies and offer financial solutions that caters to the needs of various corporations and financial institutions because the main factor leading to underway financial crisis is lack of proper understanding of various financial instruments and the associated risks. I intend to solve this problem by providing optimal solutions.

In C.T. Bauer College of Business, firstly, I could gain all the necessary knowledge and skills to meet my career goals because it has the environment where theory and practice meet. For example, at the AIM Center for Investment Management, I can combine the principle with real-world experience. Bauer College of Business's focus on the working professional will help me understand not only theoretical but also practical finance better. Secondly, Rockwell Career Center did a very good job in helping students succeed in career world. I can learn how to achieve my career goal by taking career course and having individual career counseling. Thirdly, the professors in Bauer College of Business, from the top universities, are very experienced and respected.

I believe that the M.S. Finance program in Bauer College of Business suits me very well and will make me achieve my career goal.

I am an international applicant. I want some native speakers to make my essay smoother and point out the writing mistakes in structure, gramma and sentense clarification. Plus, I think my intro is not so attractive, what can i do to make it better?

THANK U IN ADCANCE!!!
Merry Chirstmas.

Writing Feedback / 'a diary in English' - TOEFL optional essay - English ability [3]

(Optional) Share any information that you think is important in the evaluation of your application, including any concerns you think the Admissions Committee may have regarding your application. (500 word maximum)

Although in TOEFL I only got 97, a lower score than average 104, I am confident that my English improved a lot after a fall semester in University of ***

Firstly, I talked to my conversation partner and some other friends in college ministry every oftenïźŒimproving my spoken English. My conversation partner was an MBA student in University of ***, so what we talked about varied from his previous work experience in finance industry to culture difference between US and China. We also spent several weeks on discussing our business plan to import cheap ATV from China. With his help, I made rapid progress in spoken English, even business talk. He still keeps in touch with me through phone now, saying that I am much easier to understand now than before. At the same time, I came to conversation club in college ministry once a week. I met people from different countries in the club and tried to imitate native speakers' pronunciation and intonation. I talked value, trust and justice with people from different countries, practicing organizing and expressing my thoughts in English quickly. So my ability to speak English is undoubted.

Secondly, I earned A in all the finance related courses when I was in University of ***, showing that I can understand English text and lecture very well. In the class, I could not only understand the lecture very well but also communicate with professors by answering their questions and even pointing out their mistakes. In addition, I adapted quickly to Southern American English, indicating that my language sense is good. After class, I read supplement materials on the website such as Bloomberg and even in the journals like Journal of Financial Economics and Journal of Finance. I believe that English won't be my academic hurdle if I study in ***

Thirdly, I have done a lot of work to improve my writing English. Although in *** writing essay and assignment in English was a piece of cake for me, I decided to do something to improve my writing skill. So I took Intro to College Writing. It was a big challenge for me because I had to compete with other classmates, whose native language was English. Although at last I only got B, in this course I learned a lot of valuable knowledge such as MLA style format, which would be very useful in future graduate academic writing. Moreover, I went to the writing center for professional advice and gradually knew American writing culture as well. To practice more, I kept a diary in English .At present, I feel excited about writing in English and using the new words or sentences I learned from English newspaper.

In short, I believe communication in English won't be a big issue if I come to ***