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Posts by saad91
Joined: Dec 25, 2009
Last Post: Feb 7, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
From: Panama

Displayed posts: 7
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saad91   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / BU "Three adjectives that describe yourself" Essay [8]

Overall it is a good essay that backs up your qualities. However, I see some inconsistency by you mentioning that you will consult textbooks and internet if you run out of options, but then you will not solely rely on them when trying to find an answer.

I would also put something that is unique to only you. Anyone can be organized, curious or empathic, but try to include something that you possess. For example, if you are from another culture, you could use that to your advantage and explain how with that cultural background you can contribute to BU. Or you could mention a family tradition and say how you wish to see it at BU.

Hope this helps.
saad91   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown University- Ahead of the Stars influence [3]

Hi, please look over this essay and critique it harshly!

Thanks!

Tell us about an intellectual experience, project, class, or book that has influenced or inspired you.

Sitaaron se Aagey (Ahead of the Stars) is one of the most famous poems of Pakistan's national poet, Allama Muhammad Iqbal. This Urdu poem talks about how the earth is not the only place for us to live in. Iqbal mentions that there is a whole world beyond the stars of the sky, and we as falcons have to reach it. When I first read this poem, it gave me new hope that the world is a limitless place for me and that I just have to find my nest.

The first time I heard this poem was when I was ten years old. Back then it had no meaning to me. But the next time I heard it, I had just gotten rejected from Rice University and was feeling very disappointed. Then, I came across the verses "You are falcon, flight is your task/ Before you there are other skies as well." The moment I heard this, I instantly became uplifted. It was as if Destiny sent this verse as a gift to console me.

This poem has inspired me to work harder in my life, to take flight and find the nest perfect for me. It made me realize how having the false notion of one thing being good for me is wrong. I realized beyond the stars there is a universe that is full of myriads of possibilities. And in that myriad of possibilities there is one that is just for me. My life has truly changed because of Iqbal's wise words. I no longer get disappointed with negative events because I know that God has something in store for us. It is just up to each individual's hard work to achieve these things for themselves. To further the verses of this poem I write:

Now I take my flight to find my nest
But beware young falcon
That you fall in the trap of the unblessed
For do not let the false sweet scent affect your flight.
saad91   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown PLME- What type of curriculum I will design for myself [2]

Hi, Please look over this essay and critique it harshly! Thanks!

Since the Program in Liberal Medical Education espouses a broad-based liberal education, please describe your fields of interest in both the sciences and the liberal arts. Be specific about what courses and aspects of the program will be woven into a potential educational plan.

As much as I enjoy the sciences, I find that staring at chemical formulas or memorizing human body parts everyday for hours is a drag. That is why whenever I have English or Philosophy, I feel that I can relax a bit and let my mind roam freely. I would like to have the same feeling at Brown, which is why they are offering me the flexible option of choosing my own curriculum. Since I would like to pursue a career in medicine, I chose to earn a degree in science. To balance my heavy science load, I decided to focus a lot on Economics and International Relations. The reason for choosing these two liberal arts fields is that I have never taken economics in high school, and I feel that international relations can complement my experience in Model UN.

Economics is a field that can help me in any future business studies that I wish to pursue. Since I have never taken economics, I would start out with ECON 0110- Principles of Economics. As the course description suggests, it is a great class for students who "want a broad introduction to the discipline." Another course that interests me is ECON 0510- Development and the International Economy. Coupled with my interest in International Relations, this course will provide me with a broad view of what the economy of Lesser Developed Nations is like, and make me think critically on how these economies can be incorporated in the world market.

My extensive experience in MUN shows my interest in International Relations. However, my knowledge about international law is very limited and this was a disadvantage for me when it came to debating. So to make up for this loss, I want to take INTL 1801A- International Law and the Third World. This course will introduce the concept of international law and how it applies to Third World nations. In addition, this course can complement my studies in economics by allowing me to make a link between how Third World countries' economies are affected by global policies.

I am interested in the above courses, but will still maintain my focus on the sciences. I would like to gain a degree in Human Biology after my undergraduate studies. To achieve this goal, I will take BIOL 0510- Introduction to Microbiology. This course basically encompasses the various ways in which microbes are related to human health and biotechnology. This course can eventually lead me to study epidemiology in medical school. In addition, two courses that I find are related to epidemiology are BIOL 0530- Principles of Immunology and BIOL 0180- The Biology of AIDS. These two courses will help me learn about how our immune system works in general and specifically when confronted by the HIV virus. The latter course can help me pursue an independent study to understand more about AIDS.

The courses mentioned above are just a small sample of what my undergraduate schedule will look like at Brown. I hope to take introductory classes to concepts that are quite significant in the world, such as economics in business. I will also be able to keep in touch with my MUN background by taking courses in international relations. However, due to my goal in becoming a doctor, my concentration will be in pre-med courses such as immunology and the Biology of AIDS. I am confident that with this curriculum I will be a better learner.
saad91   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - Spending a day with Michelangelo of the ninja turtles! [11]

Constantly risking his life to protect a city that hates him for his appearance, always looking at the bright side despite all the hardships that come his way, watching Mikey inspired me to care less about what the world thought of me and be more true to myself.

This sentence is too long. Try shortening it and like others have said, write something that you would do that reflects his character and how you perceive it
saad91   
Jan 1, 2010
Poetry / NYU supplement essay: haiku , poems, limericks e.t.c [5]

It is "like a lion"

I would replace the second stanza because it just makes me assume that you are tall. Emphasize another personal trait of yours.

Also, you weren't really concluding the second stanza very well with the last verse.

Hope this helped!
saad91   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / 'Naturally indicisive person' - Why Duke? [7]

I would really take out the first couple of sentences. I think they would fit if they asked about a major. However, for this essay I would not encourage it.

Maybe start out with how the DukeEngage program inspired you to apply to Duke.
saad91   
Feb 7, 2010
Writing Feedback / Theory of Knowledge Essay- Comparing scientific and historical facts [2]

Science and history are not usually considered related to each other. Despite their differences, both share some similarities. They use very strict approaches when looking for the "truth". However, the problem with history is that it is very controversial due to the fact that the past cannot be directly sensed, tested or even proved. In science's case, you observe phenomena in the present.

Science uses the scientific method to explore the "truth". This is a systematic process that involves constant observation, hypothesis making and experimentation. In a similar manner, history also follows the same pattern. A historian has to observe the evidence presented and form a hypothesis about how it fits in history. However, the problem with this is that the hypothesis cannot be tested, since it is a reconstruction of events. Therefore, a controversy will arise because the interpretation of the evidence might contain a bias of the historian, which will be hard to prove. Thus, there will be a stalemate as to the actual truth of the hypothesis. This shows how historical facts lack certainty compared to scientific facts.

On the other hand, science also contains biases in its conclusions. Some researchers ignore the results that go against their hypothesis, or they may not equally administer the methods to each of the participants. It is very important for science to do everything according to its strict procedures if it wishes to unveil the "truth." Moreover, a scientist doing the same study as another scientist may challenge his/her results. Let us compare both theories with an example. After careful analysis of pieces of evidence that he collected for years, a historian concludes that Japan's actions against the US were justified. However, since the historian cannot go back in time, this view is open-ended and challenged by several historians in the US. Similarly, a scientist researching the effects of music on a person's mood may conclude that it affects people significantly, while another scientist may disagree. On the other hand, there are situational contexts that determine the validity of data. These examples basically show the perceptual differences found in history and science that affect the understanding of the "truth".

Despite the perceptual differences in science and history, both are also interrelated. History depends on science to reveal information about the past. For example, scientists and historians to determine the age of something frequently use the carbon-dating method. Thus, this scientific method opens the door for historians to better fit their reconstructions in context. To reciprocate, science also depends on history. An example would be in medical science when reviewing patients' histories. This tells a doctor what procedure to carry out for the patient.

When it comes to language, there is a very big distinction between both areas of knowledge. Science is more complicated to understand because it uses jargon specific to its fields. For example, biology will have completely different words than physics. This complicates matters because it affects the understanding of the world as a whole for an average person. However, in history the language is much more simple. There are no specific words that belong to history and it is easy to understand. There is, however, one point that stands out. Historiography is at risk of being exaggerated by emotions. Referring back to the perception, a historian could get carried away by his/her emotions and write exaggerated things that never happened. For example, a Pakistani historian will probably write how the Indian army was defeated in the liberation of Bangladesh, when in fact the Pakistani army surrendered to the Indians.

The previous point leads me into ethics in both science and history. Science lives by ethical guidelines, especially in natural sciences. Since living things are being dealt with, scientists have to be careful when experimenting to make sure that no harm comes to these creatures. The basis of ethics in science is to provide knowledge of the "truth" without causing harm to living things. However, sometimes, ethical guidelines must be broken for the greater good. Unless extreme measures are taken in experimentation, no one will know the full scope of things. In history, ethics fits in a completely different context. The ethical issue in history is largely based on whether the information is true. If information is made up, it is disadvantageous to the gaining of knowledge and thus, people are deviated further from the Truth. Just like the previous example, it is unethical for any historian to say that the Indian army was defeated by Pakistan, when there is clear evidence suggesting that Pakistan surrendered to India. In addition, when things are made up, it depreciates the meaning of history and instead of being a reality, turns it into a fantasy.

An interesting point to observe is that psychologically speaking, memories are defined as reconstructions of the past. Memories are also part of history. What the psychological theory dictates is that people cannot recall memories 100% accurately; rather they may include other experiences in their reconstruction. Similarly, history may function in the same way only if the historical evidence is someone's account of an event. In science, there is no room for reconstruction because it works in the present. However, there are scientists that conduct replications of experiments, and these sometimes result in a modification of the original method.

Having said that, I believe that scientific facts are more reliable than historical facts. I say this because with science, I can physically sense the phenomenon in question, whereas with history I have doubts about past events. For example, some historians argue that Panama gained independence only because of American support; while others say that it was due to the will of the masses. There are others that compromise saying that it was due to both causes. The point is that there are so many disputes about this historical event so sacred to the Panamanian people that I don't know what to believe. With science, I can clearly distinguish cause and effect. For example, I know that if I pour acid on plants, they will die because their cell membranes will burst, destroying them. There is a minimum amount of dispute there.

The quality of science that I like is that you don't say how something should be, you just accept the fact that nature is that way. For example, you won't say that the planets should revolve around Earth. Rather, you say that all planets, including Earth, revolve around the Sun because of its great mass and attraction force. With history, some people view that an event should've happened one way. For example, some people in Pakistan think that the disputed region of Kashmir should belong to Pakistan because Muslims ruled it for centuries. However, real history says that it legally belongs to India because its leader handed Kashmir over to them in 1947. So there is the conflict in what should have happened and what really happened.

History and science are both very distinct areas of knowledge. However, they are both similar in their ways of understanding the truth. Scientific facts are testable, while historical facts are merely reconstructions of the past that cannot be directly observed in the present. However, science is much more complex in language because of its specific jargon, while history can be understood by almost everyone.
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