Undergraduate / "responsibilities and opportunities" - Why Brown? [8]

Could somebody please give me some feedback on my Why Brown essay?
Also its too long, so any suggestions on how to cut it are welcomed!
Thank you!

... Brown's mission statement, its sociology program, its environmental awareness, its Social Innovation Initiative, its notably active Swearer Center...

I could go on an on listing what makes me believe that Brown is the perfect college match for me, but there is one reason which I want to point out especially: The fact that Brown would give me the opportunity and responsibility to shape my own education. I have come to belief that the most valuable education I can receive is the education I obtain because of my own incentive, curiosity and passion.

Attending Brown would give me the opportunity, to continue to explore what I am really interested in. I see Brown as an open-ending challenge; a school that gives it students responsibilities and opportunities; a community that I could contribute to but that would at the same time provide space for me to grow intellectual and personal.

I want to go to a school, where students are enthusiastic about their school and I believe Brown is such a place. Talking to current students the statement "Brown is what you make of it." was something I heard over and over again and I believe I am ready to take on the challenge to make the most out of it.

Undergraduate / Why Macalster? Ideas popping into my head.... [2]

Hey guys, I am not a native speaker, so I would be thankful for any grammar corrections and any other coments! Thank you!

What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally?

Pop. Pop. Pop - one reason after another pops into my mind. There are so many reasons why Macalester is the perfect college match for me that I do not even know where to start. Mac and I are literally made for each other. But let me explain:

Considering that I am a United World College student the first "pop" stands for something relatively obvious: Diversity. Living in an international community for the last one and a half years, diversity has become more than important to me. It lines up with my personal understanding that I can learn most from people with beliefs and values differently from my own and showed me the importance of culture. Attending Mac would allow me to continue living in a truly diverse community, while I would at the same time contribute to this community by sharing my own culture.

Undergraduate / 'Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu..' - Haverford- Honor Code essay [7]

Every feedback is welcome! Please help me especially with grammar! Thank you a lot!

The Honor Code at Haverford creates an environment of deep trust, respect, and collegiality between professors and students which, in turn, fosters open dialogue and free intellectual exchange. Talk about the conditions you think are essential to allowing this type of dialogue and exchange in both academic and non-academic settings.

One is Muslim, another is Christian, the next is Buddhist and one is Hindu. One is from Israel, the next from Palestine, one is from Ghana, another from Peru, and one from Bhutan. One grew up on the street, the next in a palace. One is a single-child, one has twenty siblings. One wears a sari, one a hip-hop outfit. One is conservative, the next is liberal, and one is in between ... that is who I am surrounded by 24/7.

Living in a school that consists of two hundred students, headed from ninety different countries my community is a cultural mix of beliefs, values and opinions. Sometimes when I catch a quiet moment in the middle of the day, I look around and think about how it is possible that despite all our differences we all live together, forming the most trusting, respectful and caring community I have ever lived in. It seems crazy, and it is. Wonderful- crazy.

There is one thing that I believe has not just shaped my own community a great deal but is absolute essential for creating any respectful, thought- provoking learning environment. That one thing is nothing else but simply willingness.

It is the willingness to sit down and listen. The willingness to compromise and the willingness to accept differences. I do not agree with people in favor of the death penalty, but it is my and the other's willingness to discuss each others points, that can turn a conflict into a learning experience, providing new perspectives.

It is the willingness to admit own mistakes and to work on them. One of my classmates that I value highly stole regularly. Growing up an in a poor environment and struggling to survive, stealing had always been a part of his life. It was his willingness to admit his fault, and my communities' willingness not just to accept his apologies but to discuss how one is influence by his/her background, that maintained a trusting relationship between community members.

At Haverford this willingness to change to the better would not only include the reflection on mistakes made but also the adjusting of the honor code to the needs of current students.

It is the willingness to share and the awareness of others. If living together in a dorm or just sharing a class, different personalities have different needs one has to be aware of in order to create an environment comfortable for everyone. Having written my Extended Essay - a 4000 word essay, required by the IB- about miscommunication in the classroom in an international setting, I found that overcoming miscommunication can be educational itself, but just in a setting where there is awareness of cultural and personal differences.

It is the willingness to take on the challenge to create a caring, respectful and inspiring community.

I am willing.