CultureChic
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / "help guide me to where I can be" - why is stanford a great place for me? [7]
I would cut out "I've always been the top student in my class and was voted "Most Likely To Succeed"." A better place for this type of information would be in the "Additional Information" section, if at all. If your grades are good, I think they will speak for themselves. I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm just thinking about how many students will apply here and try to make their academic achievements known as much as possible, but come off sounding like self-praising egoists. Your essay isn't that high on the egoist scale, I've definitely seen worse, but still you might want to tone it down a little.
The part about the community colleges sounds like you're saying you're too good for them, even though this might not be what you intended. I'd focus more on how Stanford is a better choice (more intellectually stimulating, cultural, etc.) than how a community college is not good enough for you. Maybe you could say how you would rather shoot for the top than play it safe.
Otherwise, you're on a good track. See you at Stanford! (Hopefully)
I would cut out "I've always been the top student in my class and was voted "Most Likely To Succeed"." A better place for this type of information would be in the "Additional Information" section, if at all. If your grades are good, I think they will speak for themselves. I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm just thinking about how many students will apply here and try to make their academic achievements known as much as possible, but come off sounding like self-praising egoists. Your essay isn't that high on the egoist scale, I've definitely seen worse, but still you might want to tone it down a little.
The part about the community colleges sounds like you're saying you're too good for them, even though this might not be what you intended. I'd focus more on how Stanford is a better choice (more intellectually stimulating, cultural, etc.) than how a community college is not good enough for you. Maybe you could say how you would rather shoot for the top than play it safe.
Otherwise, you're on a good track. See you at Stanford! (Hopefully)