Undergraduate / My life as an adventure tale...Colgate prompt [4]

This is a really good start and I think you make a really interesting and good connection between the characters you've read about and who you are and want to be. If you could please critique mine as well, I'd really appreciate it!

Undergraduate / My father - Daniel - has had the largest impact on my life [4]

I would take out the part about both your parents having an impact o your life since you only talk about your father

Undergraduate / Girls, Girls, Girls- Common Short Essay [21]

I agree with Moonshadow0302, as well as others, in terms of the TREMENDOUS risk you'd be taking with submitting this to colleges. Additionally, as personality-filled and on many levels, humorous as it may be, I don't think it's at all appropriate (or at all informative about yourself, for that matter) for a college app essay, though that's only my opinion.

Undergraduate / 'Lessons from my Latino heritage' - Cultural Difference-University of Washington [4]

I attend a dominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse groupwith minimal diversity . But As a Latina mutt, I have been exposed to a colorful view of culture. I am surrounded by a milieu (I personally don't know what the word "milieu" means but that definitely doesn't mean others don't) inhabited by Latino relatives that have given me the opportunity to experience my heritage by passing downthrusting family recipes upon me andto teaching me hidden tongues.(I'm not sure what you mean by "hidden tongues"However, being a Latina house work tends to be more embraced for womenBeing a Latina, my culture embraces and emphasizes a woman's role in maintaining the home.Although I have no problem with helping around my house,but constantlythe constant cleaning and washing morphs from a duty to an onus, which interferes with my studies. Not many people at my school have to endure the chores that I complete on a daily basis,. How do I know this? Because for a while, people I knew would ask me why I looked so tired. My answer was, "When I came home from practice, I had to clean the bathrooms, wash clothes, vacuum, prepare dinner, and help my younger siblings with homework." I always got a shocked and confused look from this response because they could not relate to my situation.as evidenced from their shocked reactions to my typical after-school routine of coming home from practice (what sport?), cleaning the bathrooms, washing clothes, vacuuming, preparing dinner, and helping my younger siblings with their homework, in addition to completing my own. As I've gotten older, I had moremy responsibilities around my houseat home have increased . It was frustrating for me because I felt that I was the only person whom had an overflow of chores.I've often felt frustrated, being the only person I know to have an overflow of chores, thinking it unfair that "normal" peopleothers did not have to perform such tasks.

New paragraph.More so,H earing stories about my elderly relatives from when they were younger(doing what? What were these stories about?) helped me realize that having as many chores as I do has taught me the value of time management and, and subsequently allowing me to fulfill all of my tasks. I slowly began to learn how to balance school, sports, home obligations, and my social life. More importantly, my Latino(a?) heritage unknowingly taught me how to take care of myself and my family by mastering daily house work. These handy(word choice) tasks will help me take babyaid me in my steps to adulthood and can allow mewill enable me to help others who are obfuscated by little chores and managing their timechallenged by time management . If I administer my time correctlyBy administering my time correctly , I can accomplish all of my obligations, goals, and aspirations .

Undergraduate / The Impact of Being a Twin (Common App essay) [5]

can someone please edit mine?

Undergraduate / The Impact of Being a Twin (Common App essay) [5]

Thanks very much for your feedback! Good luck to you!