Writing Feedback / The role of technology in our lives today: have we become too dependent [8]

please provide a feedback on this essay ,so that i can present good writing skill in my CLEP exam .
here is the essay ,please score this .

The role of technology in our lives today: have we become too dependent

We are living in a society which is called "technologically civilized" society.Every small work we do is technology dependent. Today every other person is recognized with the device or gadget ,he carries; which is technically advanced. Ultimately , we can say that ,"living without technology is like living without air" in this technical world of today.Therefore, we are much dependent on technology.

Starting with the simple example of food storage. Today the shelf life of the food products is increased with help of modern technology and even preparation time of food is reduced with the help of new machines and equipment. Thus ,making the consumer to have an ease at its consumption and also in saving a lot of productive time. Ultimately, making the person dependent on it for his own benefits. This is unlike to the times of traditional cooking where people had to spare time and even do physical labor compared to the modern technically advanced time of today.

Technology made our lives simple but much dependent on it. We can sit in a corner and get connected to the world. Thus making the world a "global community." Communicate with a person in remote area within fraction of seconds ,make a trip of the world within no time, all these are possible with the advanced technology ,making us more dependent on its usage.

In the health sector,technology advanced to a great extent that today a machine can assist a person in intensive care and monitor him ,which was a tiresome and risky job to do manually before. In a way we are coming closer with the machines developed technically.

Technology is making the multitask functions to be available in a single device. Thus ,we can have multifunctional usage of the single device we own .The more simple ,the work gets with technology,the more we get dependent on it.

Technology makes us lethargic with little or no physical activity, in one aspect; but the same technology provides a inspiration or motivation to do creative jobs including physical activity .Example games like "V" games which are challenging video games and at the same time recreational, helping to spend time in a joyful way.

Today , we don't find even a single young kid without using the available technology to him/her.Technology made us dependent on it and we can't expect or imagine a life without using the word "technology" in it .Hence, technology plays a major role in our lives.

Writing Feedback / SHOULD MODERN SOCIETY BE CRITICIZED FOR BEING MATERIALISTIC [4]

please, grade my essay and let me know the corrections , as I will soon appear for CLEP .
thank you.
topic:
MATERIALISM IS "THE THING EVERYBODY LOVES TO HATE." SHOULD MODERN SOCIETY BE CRITICIZED FOR BEING MATERIALISTIC.

Materialistic-this word holds different meaning for different persons. For me , it is spending huge amount of money on unreasonable, and unnecessarily things for which the owner does not care. He does this ,just for the sake of doing. If things are done just for the sake of doing then materialism has gone too far in this society.

I had a friend ,fond of collecting hand paintings. She collects the paintings from local and abroad places, whenever she comes across and finds herself flexible in doing so. She does this because of her passion and respect for paintings and not for the sake of just collecting and forgetting them. This contrasts between being materialistic and to be passionate about things.

My cousin ,on the other hand spends lavishly on trendy,branded goods like on cloths,shoes,cosmetics and etc. Shopping once in a while or with a purpose is a good leisure and entertaining event, but shopping just for the name sake and to prove themselves that ,they can only spend is materialistic. All the things shopped are just piled up and are never thought of again,this benefits none and there is no satisfaction for the money we put in.

NO doubt, most of the things at present are materialistic. In other words , we live in "materialistic world". But,the basic values of life, love, relationships can not be treasured with money. Money is a trading tool. It can be used to spend lavishly and luxuriously with out any point in doing so , or it can be spent in a controlled and idealistic manner where it gives a satisfaction of well spent and also benefits the society we live in. There is a saying " The most beautiful thing in this universe is a rightly fashioned life of a good person." We live in a society and every person in that has a right to criticize the materialistic nature of it. So, do the things with a purpose but not for just being materialistic.

Writing Feedback / DISCONTENT IS VITAL TO GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT [4]

Please,comment on my essay. Your suggestions will help to get a good score.
thank you
Topic:
NOBODY EVER MADE ANY PROGRESS BY BEING CONTENTED OR SATISFIED. DISCONTENT IS VITAL TO GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT- WHETHER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ONE PERSON OR A WHOLE NATION.

DISCUSS THE EXTENT TO WHICH YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS ABOVE.

The only animals on earth with lot of enthusiasm and excitement to explore new things are ,human beings. A person is not satisfied with whatever he possess; this very nature of humans ,triggered to invent, discover and develop many new and unknown things to him.

What might have happened, if a person is content with whatever he has? what will be his motive to move forward? will his journey end ? No innovative thoughts, no inventions and we lead a still life without excitement. A discontent person ,will never allow that to happen.

If our ancestors were satisfied with fire cooking, today we might have, had no chance of enjoying the luxury of oven, microwave, toaster cooking. If people were satisfied with tree shades, can we imagine of air conditioners today? no chance. If kerosene lamps satisfied the users, electric lights might have not entered our houses.

There is a lot of change in means of transport today. Air traveling, jets, space crafts all are new and made our lives more accessible and flexible at work. If people were content , a very thought of a plane might have not occurred to them. Whole world is accessed with the help internet, though it was not known to any one ,a few decades before. Of course, definitely it is an outcome of enthusiastic, unsatisfied ,working brain.

If we consider a nation, its competitiveness,its use of resources,use of high-end technology are all the outcomes of the nation's zeal to achieve and to prove its strengths in this multitasking world. A self content nation can never try or even stay in the competition.

If personally considered, for example : my father is a small business man in a small town . His enthusiasm in business and a zeal to prove himself, made him one of the well respected and recognized businessmen in the society. If he was content with whatever he had then, he might have not seen the progress today.

There is a saying " As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death." So, discontent is vital to growth, whether it is for a nation or for a person. I totally agree with this.

Writing Feedback / Education means developing mind,not stuffing the memory [4]

Please comment on this essay.
topic: "EDUCATION MEANS DEVELOPING THE MIND, NOT STUFFING THE MEMORY." Respond to this quotation . Do you agree or disagree? why?

Education means an all-round development of body, mind and spirit. Education can either be an academic or an experiential outcome; but helps in the overall growth of personality of an individual. Hence, I agree ,with the quote "EDUCATION MEANS DEVELOPING THE MIND, NOT STUFFING THE MEMORY."

Education is an on going process, of knowing our own ignorance. Literacy is one of the means of education and it is not an start or end to education. Education helps one to understand a situation, take the challenge and explore the means to achieve the goals. Not knowing the directions and no supervision, does not pave our way in the direction of our destination. An educated person with the knowledge of action will definitely have an clear idea of his goals and the means to achieve them.

We learn something and the purpose behind it ,is its usage but not merely locking our knowledge without any advantage.Education makes an empty brain into a open mind.

Right from our birth, a person is under the gradual process of education. We learn to respect our parents, elders,how to move in the society, sharing our thoughts,working on the goals through the process of knowing and implementing - education. For example: in a situation ,where we have to act, if we simply recollect and memorize our actions without any reaction ,does our education help ?The mind will never grow without experiencing and experimenting.

Coming to a classroom, it is a place where introduction to the outside world is given. We are exposed to different varied subjects like maths,social sciences ,economics,humanities,literature etc. Are we not using the knowledge ,gained in the classroom? Definitely yes, that knowledge pushes us forward in our interventions with the outside world. An academic knowledge with experience of how and when to use it, gives a person his recognisation in the society. Having all knowledge and not using does not make any sense of having memory of them. A developed mind will always search for the opportunities to show its knowledge, indeed the educational facts it learned and not memorized.

A open brain is always welcomed and helps in the growth of an educated person, rather than narrowing his opportunities. So, education means to develop an open mind. I conclude with the agreement that education means developing mind not stuffing it with memory.