Undergraduate / UCF Admission Essay...[What qualities do I possess...] [14]

This is my first attempt at writing my college essay, but it seems really hard and I dont know how to follow up on this I'm not finish but I need help.

#4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?

Heres what I wrote so far:

I've never felt like I belonged in a particular category. I would wear flip flops with any top I could find in my closet to school, which is completely preposterous according to most teenage girls in today's society who dresses according to what they see out of magazines. I've always stood out amongst others because of my independent state of mind. My parents describe me as "unique," and know that their use of this word has both negative and positive connotations!

Negative because being unique means you're different from the average and being in the world we live in, different isn't always accepted in society. But like Grandma says, "When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade!" Marching to the beat of my own drum has always came with adversities, but that hasn't stopped me from being the person I am today. I wore the same purple dress to homecoming two years in a row despite what others were thinking. Someone's opinion of you shouldn't matter more than your own opinion of yourself.

I believe I would be a great contribution to the UCF community because I try to show people I meet daily that living in a stereotypical world doesn't make you a stereotype, a definition I try to eradicate. I show people that the first step to being independent is by being yourself and standing out and If accepted, I would be honored to become a knight at one of the most prestigious Universities in Florida.

All and ANY critiques are wanted and needed :)

Undergraduate / FSU CARE program essay (economic and financial challenges)... [4]

Hey guys. I'm applying for the Summer Bridge Program at FSU and I need feedback on my essay. The topic is for me to explain my interest in the program. I didn't know how long it has to be but so far it has 312 words.

All feedback, negative and positive, are wanted :)

Whenever I think of my parents, I think of the word opportunity and, because of them, whenever I think of college, I think of opportunity. The opportunity they gave me. Growing up I have always been an independent and very determined child. I strived for excellence no matter the cost and never gave up on anything no matter the obstacle. I was born in Kingston, Jamaica the heart of the island and lived in a very violent and poor neighborhood as a child. My parents were two local Jamaicans that only succeeded pass high school because they're house hold did not have enough money to support them in college. They had to work hard for their money with low income jobs on an island where finding a good job was very hard while raising three kids, but not once did they ever complain about the difficulty of their lives because they were trying their hardest to give us, their kids, the chance to accomplish much more than what they accomplished in life. When my parents filed for us all to move to the United States, the land of opportunity, I knew that I must show them what all of their hard work has amounted to.

FSU has always been my first choice throughout high school, but financially, it seemed like an impossible dream, but that was not going to stop me. That's why when I was informed about the Summer Bridge Program at FSU, a program that offers aid to first-generation students like me who faces economic and financial challenges; I knew that this was Mr. Opportunity knocking on my door. By becoming a student at one of the top ranked universities in the nation would be a tremendous honor and I am certain that this program will be the gateway towards the opportunity my parents have always wanted me to have.