Writing Feedback / Cooperating of fathers in child rearing [3]

Please help me check this essay again. :-) Thank you very very much.

Cooperating of fathers in child rearing

The role of fathers in child rearing is essential but unfortunately fewer men pay attention to this matter. In this situation, women shouldered the burden of household management in spite of they work outside the home. Their families face with some problems.

In the past, approximately in all societies, men were breadwinner and financial provider of families and women were responsible for house chores such as upbringing the children. We witnessed that husband sometimes told their wives irrational sentences such as "You wanted to have a child so you should raise him alone" in their argument. In this condition, men made women stay at home and spent their time on cooking food, cleaning the house and raising the children. They did not let women attend social activities.

But these days, due to financial problems of families in one hand, and tendency of most women to work outside the home on the other hand, husband should help their wives in raising their children and other domestic chores as well as they collaborate with each other to provide the family with money and facilities.

From another point of view, during the process of upbringing of a child, kid needs the attention and emotion of both his mother and father. None of them can play the role of another. Some emotional problems of the child can be solved by mother and some of them can be handled by father. So if husband does not properly play his role, his kid may face with some disappointments and emotional shortages in the future. To exemplify, many adults say they wanted to be more with their fathers when they were a child. It is obviously clear that love can ever be replaced by money and welfare.

In summary, Cooperating mothers and fathers to raise children is undoubtedly more vital than before. Men should pay more heed to the emotional and spiritual requirements of their children as well as the financial ones.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: effects of globalization (decrease in global tension) [3]

Even though globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten.discuss
During the history of the world, every change has its own positive and negative sides. Globalization as a gradual change affecting all over the world is not an exception. Although it has undeniable effects on the economics of the world; it has side effects which make it a controversial issue.

Some people prefer to recognize globalization as a threat to ethnic and religious values of people of their country. They think that the idea of globalization put their inherited culture in danger of uncontrolled change and make them vulnerable against the attack of imperialistic governments.

Those who disagree, believe that globalization contribute effectively to the global improvement of the world in many aspects. Developing globalization, people can have more access to many natural resources of the world and it leads to increasing the pace of scientific and economic promotions of the entire world. In addition, they admit that globalization can be considered a chance for people of each country to promote their lifestyle through the stuffs and services imported from other countries.

Moreover, the proponents of globalization idea point out globalization results in considerable decrease in global tension due to convergence of benefits of people of the world which is a natural consequence of globalization.

In conclusion, I would rather classify myself in the proponents of globalization as a speeding factor of global progress. I think it is more likely to solve the problems of the world rather than intensifying them.

would you please inform me of:
1. gramatical error
2.structural classification of essay
3. if I answered the question completely and corectly or....
thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / What, in your opinion should be the main function of a university? [2]

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

What, in your opinion should be the main function of a university?
Universities as scientific bases play a great role in the scientific level and industrial promotion of each country. According to their importance, some people think that universities should be responsible for making a balance between the skills of the graduates and the requirements of the industries, while others consider the matter of science as an abstract issue which is unrelated to the practical skills needed in professional life.

The proponents of knowledge-based universities believe that having state of the art knowledge guarantee an unconditional success. They think that knowledge alone is the key factor of solving unpredicted problems and existent requirements of industries. In these people point of view, having extended amount of information gives the graduates sufficient creativity and acceptable capability of handling unforeseen circumstances.

However, the opponents of this idea believe that creativity and capability at work place is the gift of practical skills obtained at universities. They think that it is the duty of universities to qualify the students for their professional life. In support of this idea, statistics show that successful workers are skilled graduates from universities who has gained a deep insight into the requirements of their job at the university period and armed themselves with them.

In conclusion, for the sake of successful industry, universities had better focus on skill-based education rather than knowledge-based one. Selecting this trend, universities will be capable of training qualified workers who meet the requirements of a functional worker in work place.

(243 words)
This as another essay in this topic, would you please inform me of:
1. gramatical errors
2.structrual classification of the essay
3. did i cover the topic completely and correctly or not?
thank you,