Essays / "How Media Can Influenced Children" - My teacher assigned us an essay for 3 pages. [5]

it doesn't have to just be TV media, it can be music that you listen to, books/magazines you read, billboards and advertisements you see.

Writing Feedback / My journey that led me to pursue physical therapy school [4]


First off, paragraphs would be nice ;)

Anyway, I like the intro about passion but its a bit short. Maybe you could provide more examples of passion or go into detail. After that, you should say However, physical therapy was not always my passion. Then, you could be like " for the longest time i was unsure of what i wanted to do with my life..." or something like that to make a transition into your journey that led to physical therapy, which should be your next paragraph.

Research Papers / Motorcycle helmets should be mandatory for all riders - research thesis statement [4]

you just need to finish the sentence, so it would be "Motorcycle helmets should be mandatory for all riders because... (then say why). This lets the reader know what the analysis will reveal.

For example, "Because motorcycles are probably the most dangerous form of transportation, helmets should be mandatory for all riders."

Undergraduate / Nursing Program, OSU essay. I tried keeping it short and humorous but still mature. [5]

I think it is fine. It shows that you are enthusiastic about college which is a good thing. Most kids try to be so formal cause they think that colleges want that but what they really want is an essay that stands out so im sure yours will stand out. The only thing i dont get is the last line. whats a poisonous nut?

Research Papers / "Australia's development from 1788 to 1900", Chorus - History essay question (HELP) [4]

Well first off you need to research major dates in Australian history from 1788 - 1900. Then try to pick events that relate to the chorus and tie it all together.