Undergraduate / "the things that require hard work are the most rewarding" - Personal Statement [4]

Hello, I was hoping someone could help me with my personal statement. The requirements are that it be around 500 words or less.

Here it goes

I believe there are many facets that shape your life. For instance the people you are exposed to, challenges you experience or roadblocks you may have to overcome, all have an effect on who you are. While I have had many challenges and roadblocks there is one particular event that has made a great impact on my life. It was the summer of my sophmore year; my dad took me on a hike. Not just any hike, but we...

(this is approximately 510 words)