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Posts by helenheidel
Joined: Nov 8, 2010
Last Post: Dec 14, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Thailand

Displayed posts: 5
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helenheidel   
Nov 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "Communications to help people in India and in the world" Ohio State University Essay [2]

Why Am I interested in Ohio State University:

College is a time where students further their education in order to achieve their future goals. It takes commitment, hard work, and a lot of coffee. Going to college will open many doors for me, and will create opportunities that may change my life. That is why I want to choose the right college for myself.

I understand how lucky I am to have the opportunity to go to college, and I want to go to a college where my knowledge can blossom to its fullest potential. My future goals include using my studies of communications to help people, and with OSU's progressing Communication's program, I am confident that I will achieve those goals. According to the NRC, Ohio State University's school of Communications was recently ranked third overall in the field and is among the elite communications programs. This has made me strongly believe that Ohio State University is the school where I can get the best possible education in communications to strive towards my future goals of publicizing issues such as poverty.

Living in India, I was exposed to scenes of poverty that made my heart yearn to do something to help. Driving home everyday I saw a girl around my age, her emaciated body covered in black dust with flimsy stained rags for clothing. She would carry a baby at her hip and walk from car to car, begging for food underneath the fiery New Delhi sun. Her home was a piece of cardboard, next to piles of rubbish that would carry the pungent stench for miles through the polluted air. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what to do. Later on, as this image was still transfixed in my mind, I realized that I wanted to address problems like this to the public.
helenheidel   
Dec 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "Dressing is a way of life." - FIT ESSAY - FASHION MERCHANDISING [3]

This quote is my whole perspective of fashion . -this quote describes my whole perspective on fashion?

the most fancy designer with the latest new spring collection. It's all about the way you express your personal individuality. -fanciest designer with the latest spring collection, it's all about the way you express your personal individuality. just trying to make it flow :)

but than it grew to become -then, grew into an addiction

Than this addiction- Then

Since I was younger - young

I faced many hardships academically, physically, and emotionally trying to figure out who I am. These struggles helped me realize that you are able to get through anything with devotion and hard work. These characteristic - maybe elaborate on the hardships and characteristics, or cut out?

Even thought I've faced challenges throughout my life, these troubles have made me very unique in many ways- how? elaborate maybe :)

I love fashion too so I enjoyed editing this, make sure that your essay flows a bit better though. Also maybe include the Yves Saint Laurent quote somewhere else in the essay? like: then this addiction became my way of life or something like that. good luck with FIT! Stay passionate about fashion don't let anything get you down!
helenheidel   
Dec 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "Expect the Unexpected" Personal Statement [3]

and is up to you - it is up to them

not only I played basketball, - only had I

here I was # 10-222- ?? explain numbers?

I could not believe I was there after purposely failing the entrance exam. I was accepted anyways due to my grades and the prestige of the school I came from - where is there (:

denial, I profoundly - denial; I ..

stare vaguely- stare blankly you mean?

If you have no phone, no television, no social life and no friends, there is only one thing you can do, make friends- Maybe make it more about you like when I had no phone...there was only one thing I could do, make friends.

hope this helped a little! good luck (:
helenheidel   
Dec 11, 2010
Undergraduate / India- Incredible, hectic, noisy, confusing, historic, beautiful. UW ESSAY, HELP?! [4]

How has your cultural background enriched you with opportunities in pursuing your educational goals?

India; Incredible, hectic, noisy, confusing, historic, beautiful. Out of the five countries I have lived in, India was the most intriguing. How can you describe living in a city with over 12 million people? It was overwhelming but later on it opened my eyes to an entirely different aspect of life. India's diverse society drew me in and afterwards made me realize that I wanted to pursue a career in International Affairs. I experienced firsthand, a lifestyle so greatly different with such rich culture surrounding me. My familiarity of adjusting to life in a different country with diverse customs gives me a better understanding of what working in this field will be like. All the encounters I had in India-from culture shock to the infamous "Delhi belly"- remind me that this field will not be easy, but the effort is rewarding.

From the moment I got off the plane, I knew I was in India. A gust of wind blew hot air in my face and the heat immediately engulfed me. I had entered a furnace, filled with 12 million people. Women in silk saris splashed with green and blue hues swarmed around me. "Aren't they dying under all that layer of clothing?" I wondered. I was not used to India at first. Personal space did not exist in this world and I had to endure plenty of traffic jams under the sweltering sun; I can still feel the sweat bursting out of my pores and trailing its way down my forehead. Cows were the kings of the road; their immense bodies shifted through the polluted streets. The language, the food, and the crowds were very overwhelming to take in all at once.

I started adapting to Indian customs more smoothly later on. Indian food, with its heavy scents of mixed spices became a favorite cuisine of mine and the Delhi head nod, along with some Hindi phrases, found its way into my communication. I attended an Indian wedding and watched as an old woman with orange stained fingers carefully drew intricate swirls of detailed flowers with henna onto the bride's hands. I watched Bollywood movies in Hindi with my friends, and even starred in a Bollywood-style school play. My memorable friends helped me understand and appreciate their culture. Without them, I would have been lost and so alone in one of the world's most populated cities. It is amazing how deeply that place impacted me; it temporarily became my home when I never thought it could. I am so fortunate for living in a country that so many people dreamed of visiting.

Years later, I found a passion from the bustling, crowded streets of New Delhi. I was given the opportunity to adjust to an unfamiliar environment and experience living abroad as an International student. After moving back to America I could speak about diverse cultures from personal experience, which is why I participated in the Model United Nations all four years of high school. Debating issues such as poverty-I saw the faces of poverty outside my school gates in New Delhi- hit home, and the memories of India came flooding back. I want to be involved in International Affairs because of what I encountered in India. I learned to understand another country's culture and customs in two years, and how to communicate with different people; assets that are very important for the International Affairs field.
helenheidel   
Dec 14, 2010
Undergraduate / India- Incredible, hectic, noisy, confusing, historic, beautiful. UW ESSAY, HELP?! [4]

I am a world traveler; I have soared above the horizon in steel birds, saw sunrises and sunsets, as I landed in some of the earth's most exotic places. I have lived in four different countries in South East Asia, but India intrigued me the most. How can you describe living in a country with over 1.1 billion people? It was overwhelming, but it opened my eyes to a different aspect of life. I was surrounded by the roots of Indian culture and the images of its diverse beauty have stayed with me. I saw a fraction of India's history while the Taj Mahal's strong ivory structure towered over me; the pride of India, gleaming under the scorching sun. I saw the country's unsolved social conflicts in the distressed eyes of poverty-stricken children. As I describe endless stories about India to my friends, I see its culture in myself. Adapting to India deemed to be my biggest challenge, yet it taught me about the importance of accepting other cultures.

thanks for the advice!! better intro?
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