How has your cultural background enriched you with opportunities in pursuing your educational goals?
India; Incredible, hectic, noisy, confusing, historic, beautiful. Out of the five countries I have lived in, India was the most intriguing. How can you describe living in a city with over 12 million people? It was overwhelming but later on it opened my eyes to an entirely different aspect of life. India's diverse society drew me in and afterwards made me realize that I wanted to pursue a career in International Affairs. I experienced firsthand, a lifestyle so greatly different with such rich culture surrounding me. My familiarity of adjusting to life in a different country with diverse customs gives me a better understanding of what working in this field will be like. All the encounters I had in India-from culture shock to the infamous "Delhi belly"- remind me that this field will not be easy, but the effort is rewarding.
From the moment I got off the plane, I knew I was in India. A gust of wind blew hot air in my face and the heat immediately engulfed me. I had entered a furnace, filled with 12 million people. Women in silk saris splashed with green and blue hues swarmed around me. "Aren't they dying under all that layer of clothing?" I wondered. I was not used to India at first. Personal space did not exist in this world and I had to endure plenty of traffic jams under the sweltering sun; I can still feel the sweat bursting out of my pores and trailing its way down my forehead. Cows were the kings of the road; their immense bodies shifted through the polluted streets. The language, the food, and the crowds were very overwhelming to take in all at once.
I started adapting to Indian customs more smoothly later on. Indian food, with its heavy scents of mixed spices became a favorite cuisine of mine and the Delhi head nod, along with some Hindi phrases, found its way into my communication. I attended an Indian wedding and watched as an old woman with orange stained fingers carefully drew intricate swirls of detailed flowers with henna onto the bride's hands. I watched Bollywood movies in Hindi with my friends, and even starred in a Bollywood-style school play. My memorable friends helped me understand and appreciate their culture. Without them, I would have been lost and so alone in one of the world's most populated cities. It is amazing how deeply that place impacted me; it temporarily became my home when I never thought it could. I am so fortunate for living in a country that so many people dreamed of visiting.
Years later, I found a passion from the bustling, crowded streets of New Delhi. I was given the opportunity to adjust to an unfamiliar environment and experience living abroad as an International student. After moving back to America I could speak about diverse cultures from personal experience, which is why I participated in the Model United Nations all four years of high school. Debating issues such as poverty-I saw the faces of poverty outside my school gates in New Delhi- hit home, and the memories of India came flooding back. I want to be involved in International Affairs because of what I encountered in India. I learned to understand another country's culture and customs in two years, and how to communicate with different people; assets that are very important for the International Affairs field.
Wow, I really like your descriptive language, it's very compelling.
I would, however, suggest some organisation in your essay. Your beginning is good, and then you sort of switch between India and international affairs. Start out with all India, the things your experienced, etc, etc. Then continue on with how you think that this experience enriched you-- this is about your International Affairs major.
And make a stronger conclusion, this one is a little weak.
Another option that you have, is going into less detail about India and instead summing up the five countries you have been to, and the experience of adjusting to them. That would really make you international!
I hope this helped, and I'm so glad you love India, because that's my favourite place in the whole world!
I am a world traveler; I have soared above the horizon in steel birds, saw sunrises and sunsets, as I landed in some of the earth's most exotic places. I have lived in four different countries in South East Asia, but India intrigued me the most. How can you describe living in a country with over 1.1 billion people? It was overwhelming, but it opened my eyes to a different aspect of life. I was surrounded by the roots of Indian culture and the images of its diverse beauty have stayed with me. I saw a fraction of India's history while the Taj Mahal's strong ivory structure towered over me; the pride of India, gleaming under the scorching sun. I saw the country's unsolved social conflicts in the distressed eyes of poverty-stricken children. As I describe endless stories about India to my friends, I see its culture in myself. Adapting to India deemed to be my biggest challenge, yet it taught me about the importance of accepting other cultures.
thanks for the advice!! better intro?
Out of Of the five countries in which I have lived , India was the most intriguing.
How can you describe living in a city with over 12 million people? ---You should name the city in the first sentence of the essay. ...in which I have lived, New Delhi, India was the most...---no... this sounds awkward, too! You should change the second sentence instead: How can I describe living in New Delhi, a city with over...
"Aren't they dying under all that those layers of clothing?" I wondered. I was not used to India at first. Personal space did not exist in this world, and I had to endure
I am so fortunate for living having lived in a country that so many people dreamed dream of visiting.
:-) thanks for this great discussion of New Delhi! It made me even more curious about India.
