Undergraduate / "A male student of African Descendant to become a financial analyst" - RUTGERS [6]

Can anyone please review my essay.i will appreciate this so much. thank you in advance..
ESSAY PROMPT

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services and cultural experiences.

I am impressed by the anomaly I have become: A male student of African Descendant with a burning desire and passion to attain my dream of becoming a world renowned financial analyst in this sophisticated and dynamic world. A world full of people from diverse culture and places with different perspectives and views about the human world, yet we are all united by the spirits of humanity. Given my background, a young adult who has grown up in the developing country of Africa Nigeria to be precise, grappling with the challenges of the economy hardship and poverty: It is apparent to dash the hope of one's dream and ambition, but the burning desire and the tenacity of purpose embedded in me stimulate and keep me going to face life challenges.

Growing up was never a palatable experience for me. Early in life I have learnt to grow up quickly and scratch for a living without the tender love, protection and guidance of a father. My mother played a strong motherly role in my upbringing. She taught me the significance of being passionate about life. Against all odds, her burning desire and passion lay a sound foundation for me to be passionate and always working towards my dreams. It is this mind's frame that I have employed in everything I do. As I never allowed the poverty level to affects my passion as it does to most of my peers while growing up. Sometimes I lived with just two meals a day, but still I carried out my daily activities believing the future is bright.

However, immigrating to United State of America where there are abounding opportunities serves as an eye opener for me. I experienced culture shock because I now found myself in a heterogeneous society of diverse culture where individualism is the hallmark of the cultural context. Unlike in Africa where brotherhood forms the hallmark of the cultural context, everybody does his own things by himself. People believed asking too much question means intruding their privacy. Owing to this, I quickly adjusted to the norm in my new world, mix it up with my values of African society so as to better functions in a diversify society. Moreover, I worked in Newark Airport as customer service associates where I experience diversity as I met people from different culture, origin and experiences. With passion I learned about different people, their values and interests. I learned how to work and deal with different people with diverse perspective and opinion to achieve better results. I began to appreciates a diversify society as it stimulate my passion to learn about people from all walks of life. Exposure to different ideologies, cultures and ethics serves as a check to intellectual stagnation and ignorance.

Coming from a different culture and being a minority in a diverse society, I believe Rutgers is the right place for me. With the richness in diversity and outstanding academic environment, Rutgers will provide a permanent base that will extends my knowledge of diversity and prepare me to function well in life to come. With different clubs, groups and other organizations, Rutgers provides real atmosphere of the world that will fully equip me to face the challenges of life. Nonetheless, I intend to use my experience of diversity and understanding of people with different cultures, ethics, and interest to work with my future colleagues to bring about the best in every one and to stimulate Rutgers community.

I know for certain that there are students with different levels of intelligence. To the very few students who are considered to be geniuses, it is easier for them to attain admittance to college, because of their natural gifts. There are others who have consistent academic records which assist those students to successfully convince college institutions of their abilities. As for myself, I have nothing more than the tenacity of purpose and passionate desire to achieve my goals in life. And I believed with this I can handle the complex challenges of the future most especially the diversity of the enormous challenges in Rutgers where I believed I can build my future.

Undergraduate / "Hubris and my humble experience" - Describing personal issue that meant alot to me [2]

Good day guys. i want you to please review my essay for better editing.thanks i really appreciates this so much.

PROMPT
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Feeling as if the world is about to come to an end, I immediately went home, get into my room and lock myself up. Ruminating for the whole day, I asked myself series of questions. Such as: How on earth will I succeed in this great task? How will I speak effectively facing thousands of people? What if I failed? The next day I went to the library get books on public speaking and I began to learn the principles of Perfect Speech Delivery. Of all the books I came across I was fascinated by Dale Carnegie's book "Principles of Public speaking". I learned about Preparation, self- confidence and Originality to mention a few.

After few days of serious thought I finally got a topic for my speech "Maximizing all Possibilities". Moreover, I developed the topic, study the speech, memorized and digest it. Every day, I give my speech while standing in front of the mirror talking to empty chairs. At first this seems unreasonable but became reasonable as I improved day after days. Besides I will say to myself while gazing at the mirror "If I can perceive I can believe, if I can believe I can conceive, if I can conceive I can achieve". However, the night before the convention I had a nice dinner, rest and relax my nerves.

On August 12th 2004(The day of the convention) I got to the convention venue very early so as to calm down and cool off every anxiety. Sitting down on the special seat prepared for me, I was amazed and confused at the number of the congregation. After several minutes the moderator called me to deliver my speech. My heart ran three hundred miles per minute; but I said to myself "Yes I can do it". As I mount the podium I wear a nice smile and look straight to the congregation. I began the speech by interacting with the congregation asking those questions about their potentials so as to win their attention. This was successful because there were a lot of responses from the congregation. My confidence increased as the atmosphere becomes more interacting. Within a twinkling of an eye I received a standing ovation. As I was leaving the auditorium, one of the Teen's Mentors approached me and said "OH! What a great performance, you never told me you are a great speaker. More power to your elbow".

Without hubris, this humble experience had really shape my personality in every areas of life. The palpable result is the transmission of this so called ME.I began to see a new me, ready to combat every of life's challenges. Mathematics has been my weaker areas due to the phobia I always display toward arithmetic. However, the new me decided to meet the challenge giving more times to practice. Whenever I remember the successful outing of the speech delivery, it inculcates this special confidence in me. Owing to this, logical Mathematical reasoning became easier for me and the results were forth coming. Furthermore, enormous pressure in my work environment fizzles out. As a Customer Service Associates, I improvised new approach in dealing with very demanding manager, unpleasant co-workers and impolite customer. I could look straight into the customer's eyes and communicate effectively about the various services available. Initially, such effective communication was almost impossible.

Right now, I'm convinced that I can apply this self-confidence to every life's situation. All I need is to believes in myself.. With this mindset, I believe I can handle the complex challenges of the future most especially the diversity of the enormous challenges in college where I believed I can build a permanent base for my future.

Thank you for your time to read and made correction.