Undergraduate / "Interview with the school's principal & SLC, volunteering" -quality, accomplishment [4]

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you.
What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud?
How does it relate to the person you are?

A significant episode in my life lay in the transformation from my sophomore year to junior year- coming to America and experiencing a brand new educational system. 6776 miles away from my hometown, I saw, heard, and felt this unique atmosphere in Los Angeles. Day by day, I aimed to adjust myself in this ineffable school life through participating school events and volunteering. Having been looking for self identity, I was enlightened by the opportunity to become a member in Student Leadership Counsel (SLC). I enjoy volunteering.

Toward the end of my junior year, I filled out the application for joining SLC as a "peer counselor" of the next school year. Weeks later, I was called to an interview with the school's principal and SLC counselor. During the ten-minute interview, I heard my own heartbeat, felt the sweat all over my palms, and lost the awareness to even change my position. Disappointed by my foolishness during the interview, I completely threw away the anticipation to get in SLC. However, to my surprise, I successfully got accepted.

Starting summer time, we had several meetings that urged us to draw up an agenda on what we would accomplish as a member in SLC in the next school year. In every week's meeting, I learned to be responsible for what I had promised to do, such as reminding students the SAT registration deadline, and making flyers that tells seniors what to do on college application. Because I myself was not an expert in counseling, I spent extra amount of time to ask and to research on this field beforehand. Despite fulfilling my own position, as a "leader" in the school, I sometimes volunteer for school events on weekends. For instance, I once promoted school's preschool as well as fund-raising program by passing out flyers in Chinese Festival. I enjoyed the connection with people because it broadened my knowledge that I would never see in any textbook.

Volunteering is essential for me since the experience has always supplied me with contentment and pleasure. Besides the price I need to pay to take part in helping, I grasp more on the privilege to witness real world and carry out my belief. It was not until I contributed to SLC did I undergo volunteering in practice and find out the meaning of life. Gradually, I found out the motivation for me to balance school work and extracurricular activities in fact directed me to be responsible and stay focus rather than surrendering myself to pressure. It reveals that I discover more about myself through other people. I am grateful for my opportunity to study in the U.S.; thus I insist on sharing my appreciation through volunteering.

I think I need help to eliminate some words. Did I answer the prompt correctly? Was my essay consistent? Welcome any comment and criticism!!!=) I will appreciate it.=D

Undergraduate / "A lesson from my world, Taiwan"....UC Prompt 1 [4]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Would someone tell me if my paragraphs flow fluently and my ideas stay consistently? This is my third revision. My counselor told me that my ideas switch from one to another and lack of main point.

I will appreciate any advice!!!

I come from Taiwan, a democratic country that offers 9 years' of free education to develop each individual so that students can meet academic objectives. Therefore, this social anticipation produces a highly competitive educational environment. Students usually have overloaded examinations with high pressure. Under this circumstance from where I grew up, students are expected to spend seven days a week on studying without free weekends. All I concerned was pursuing high scores and defeating students around me. Nevertheless, certain profound incidents gradually challenged my philosophy.

My sister was one of the victims under the stressful tradition on evaluating one's intellectual capacity in Taiwan. She has greatly suffered from the symptoms of melancholic because of her continued failure in studying. Though she consistently put effort on studying, the result did not come out as fulfilling. The sorrow in me as a witness of a mental patient led me to doubt such a competitive but restricted environment. Hence, learning from past experience, my parents sent me to the United States to acquire a different meaning of education.

Moreover, the second host family I have stayed with since I came to United States marked another "watershed" in my life. The person whom I live with is an African American woman, who was involved in the Civil Rights Movement in 1960s particularly for African American's equality under the leadership of Martin Luther King. From learning a distinct aspect of viewing the egalitarian America, I reconsidered what equality truly meant- each individual feels respected. The first-hand experience my host mother shared with me provided me an enthusiasm to convey humanity instead of simply pulling others down and seeking my own benefit.

I had never stepped out of my limited learning atmosphere until I came to the United States, a country where students are trained to express their thoughts directly in class, be involved in with team work, and take part in extracurricular activities. Since I came to America in August, 2009, my experience has changed me from a naïve girl who used to dream about getting personal benefits to the one who dwells on making some impact on others. The transformation of my worlds has taught me a significant lesson－studying is not just about proving how intelligent a person is but inspiring one to contribute positively to the society. Therefore, I expected myself to have not only accountability but also consistency toward morality and humanity.

Word Count: 402