Scholarship / NROTC WAIVER To join the Navy, Hand written statement [NEW]

Hi, Im not sure where to put this, but I think this is the best place for it.

To join the Navy, because I have a record, I need to submit a "handwritten statement" along with my waiver form. This is basically my side of the story and will be submitted along with the official affidavit. Keep in mind that I will have to hand write this for final submission.

Any help you can provide would m very very appreciated, Im not quite satisfied with the flowof this essay but it does say everything I need it to say. I have left a few things blank, to keep my anonymity.

Thanks in advanced for the help.

Essay:

On the morning of November 18th three years ago, when I was fourteen years old, I walked from my house across the street to ________ High School, Opened an unlocked door and entered the building. Even though I had lived across the street from _______ High School since before it was built, I had never been inside because I attended school across town at __________ Community High School because a vocational magnet program. I walked around inside the school for about an hour and took a laser pen that was not mine, and then left.

I knew it was wrong, illegal and immoral, but I did it anyway. I do not recall what I was thinking at the time or if I even was thinking, but I now realize how wrong I was.

I've come along way since that day. After seeing the heartbreak in my mothers eye when she came to bail me out, the full weight of what I had just done started to set in I'll forever be know as a felon, many doors would close. Because I had had no prior incidents and none since, my case was diverted to youth court where I sentenced to six months of therapy, eighty community service hours and I had to take a class on crime. I completed all of these and my case was dropped, sealed and expunged.

I learned a lot about my self from this experience, although if I could I would never have gone though it. I feel I have a greater respect now for the Law, law enforcement and government in general.

Since a young age, I've wanted to serve my country, I just didn't know how. MY family has a long history of military service including my Grandfather __________ who served in the Korean war, and my brother __________ who is currently serving in Afghanistan as part of the Florida Army National Guard. Through my life experiences in school, the Boy Scouts, the Sea Scouts, and in talking to my family and friends I've decided the United States Navy is how I would like to serve my country. I am writing this statement because I understand the Navy has High Standards and doesn't let just anybody join, but in rare cases make exceptions for those who truly deserve it. I really and truly hope that my past mistakes will not interfere with this dream of mine.

Undergraduate / "My brother Richard Evan Gross impacted my life" - ApplyTexas Essay Topic A [4]

Here's my first essay for the Texas A & M app, all help is appreciated!

Topic A (Freshman)
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

My brother Richard. Richard Evan Gross. He's my older brother, a father figure to me, my best friend, and the guy I always wanted to be like. To most people, your little brother is an annoying pest and I was no exception. None the less, Richard always did his best to make sure I was never left behind.

My mother divorced my father when I was four and Richard was Seven. For all intents and purposes mo brother was my father, I had no other. Richard taught me life skills. He helped me with my schoolwork throughout elementary and middle school. He taught me how to tie my shoes. He went camping with me. He even taught me how to tie a tie. Richard helped me become the man I am today. With no other male presence in the early years of my life, my brother made sure I had my bearings and enough sense to tackle any obstacle life would throw my way.

Like most of my friends, I always looked up to my older brother. In more ways then one, he was and still is my very best friend; the guy I always wanted to be. Anything Richard did growing up, I had to give a shot. He played Soccer, and I joined the AYSO league a year later. Richard was a cub scout and I had to beg my mom to take mom to take me with him to meetings on Tuesday nights. Richard took five years of French in middle and High School and this helped me in my decision to study French myself throughout high school. All those years I wanted just like him and he took it in stride, believing in my goals and helping me to be anything I wanted to be.

Even as much as I looked up to my brother growing up (and I did), it doesn't even begin to match how proud of him I am and how much I admire him to this day. After graduating High School in the top ten percent of his class, Richard went on to University to study Civil engineering and now works for the Florida National Guard in the air civil defense program. Currently Richard is serving in his first deployment to Afghanistan since November of this year. He is proudly serving his country. As much as I support his decision, I will not follow squarely in his footsteps. I have chosen to pursue my own passion and join the United States Navy. My brother does, however, support my decision.

I am not sure where Id today without this great man, but I do know that I owe a great deal to him. My brother helped me define myself as who I am today. He's the father-figure I never had, my best friend, and someone I love very much. Not many are as lucky as us to share such a great relationship, but for that I am thankful. I am thankful for my brother, Richard Gross.

Undergraduate / "American youth have nowhere else to turn for guidance" - ApplyTexas Essay Topic B [3]

Here's my second essay for the Texas A & M app, all help is appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

********************************************************************

Topic B (Freshman)
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

********************************************************************

On a Tuesday night, when I was seven years old, my mother brought me to the Basement of Public School 97. I had not known previously what happened in the basement of this elementary school across town from where I lived, but I quickly found out. It was on that day that I had attended my first Cub Scout meeting. I never really liked the Cub scouts, but I stuck it out and a few years later, I became a Boy Scout and boy, did I love that. As a boy scout, I've literally climbed mountains, I've travelled the country and I met youth from Israel, Egypt, Canada, Sweden and Great Brittan. I've made lasting friendships, volunteered hundreds of community service hours, learned about Robert's rules of order and how to speak in front of a crowd. But more important then any of these experiences, I kept true to myself. Scouting's core values of duty to self, duty to god and duty to others have helped me shape my own values and become who I am today.

Every day as I walk the halls of my High School, I'm surrounded by violence, peer pressure, gangs, drugs and crime. I've had numerous opportunities to take up a drug addiction, but I never did. I never joined that gang, I've never been violent to my family members or friends, I never skipped school, and I've never had to deal with a teenage pregnancy. I've kept myself on the straight and narrow and I attribute this to my good upbringing, yes, but also to my involvement with the Boy Scouts.

I feel that a large problem with Americas' youth is that they go to school, they go home, they might have a few extracurricular, but they have nowhere else to turn for guidance. I am a big proponent of the Girl Scouts, The Boy Scouts, Campfire Girls and church youth groups. Being a teenager is tough, there's a lot of expectation and a lot opportunities to screw up. This isn't something most adults are willing to admit. Teens need somewhere to turn to when their parents are fighting or their grades are slipping or they go through a rough breakup. Scouting and Youth Groups help fulfill this need.

This summer, I travelled to Virginia attend and work at the National Jamboree, which is a gathering of scouts from this country and many others. While I was there, I was asked by a news reporter from CNN why I thought Scouting was still Relevant after existing for 100 years. I told him that scouting teaches values, but more than that it grooms young men and women into being productive outstanding members of society. I told him how eleven of the twelve men who walked on the moon were Boy Scouts. I told him of notable past scouts such as John F. Kennedy, George W. Bush, Bill Gates, and Sam Walden. Other notable Scouts include Robert Gates, former CIA director and President of Texas A&M University. I then asked the Reporter to look around him at the thirty thousand youth that were there and try to count how many people he thought might be drug addicts or how many obese youth he saw. I told him to look at the diversity of the and how was no visible segregation or racial hate. I talked to this reporter for the better part of an hour, but when I my mom called me the next day she told me how my speech had been cut down to an eight second clip. I was disappointed, but nonetheless, I still believe in my message. As a teenager it is important to find an outlet, people to talk to, friends outside of school, a way to achieve your goals.

Whether it is the Scouting or not, I believe all teenagers need to be part of a group that welcomes them, encourages them to be there best and pushes them to new heights. We've all heard the saying; "You never see a boat parked outside of a physiatrists office", but I think can apply to youth based groups as well. If all teens had the opportunity to join this type of a group, then they would go on to be outstanding citizens, powerful business leaders, and progressive world leaders.