The 2011 essay should address the following: "The Latin words "Vires, Artes, Mores" has been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition.
Overcoming Boundaries
A great Chinese philosopher said Life promises many things but in reality, it only kept two: death and misery. Misery might manifest itself in one's life through many forms. There was a time, circumstances in life, had bifurcated my family. As young girls, under the age of fifteen, we had to be separated from our mother in Haiti and come to live in the United States, in search of a better life or the "American dream," as many would put it. Dreams are not always sweet and pleasant. That is something we had to learn, perhaps, due to certain difficulties.
Since we were away from our parents, one of us had to assume the responsibility of a parent. My older sister who was merely 18 years old, had to take charge of that position. There were four of us. It has been said that diamonds and gold are precious; indeed, they are. But, there is something in life that is more precious then diamonds and gold, and that is love. Through love, compassion and patience, our sister worked hard, went to school and helped raise the three of us while our mother was in Haiti doing her business. In spite of such burdensome responsibility, she has managed with sheer determination to accomplished an excellent job, not only in the area of feeding, clothing, helping us with our homework but also teaching us to be responsible, and sustain a grade point average through high school that qualified her to graduated with honors.
Today, my sister's accomplishment, in raising us in spite of how miserable we made life for her, has become my inspiration. As I make my way through high school, I encounter countless barriers that come to throw me off track but when I recall how my sister, raised the four of us including herself and was able to finish high school and make it through college, I had to make a decision to face those demons who dare to make me a quitter and overcome them with my strength of character thus exemplify the Mores within.
Furthermore, perseverance was a major factor throughout my high school years. My breakthrough came when my favorite subject, English had becoming a nightmare. It was my sophomore year, my first honor class. I was so excited but that excitement soon turned to sorrow. My lack of determination made it seem as if the professor was the problem. I tried to put the blame on the workload of homework that I had to turn in. Everything about the teacher had become a burden to me. I barely pass my assignments throughout the first quarter. Finally, God gave me the strength to realize that I'm the problem. Then, I recall my sister's hard work. As a result, I had a decision to make. I vowed to persevere and no longer seeking for an easy way out. I worked diligently all throughout the year. Finally, I grasped the meaning of "you can accomplish anything you set your mind to."
Nevertheless, I acknowledge that nothing good comes without effort. Now, I can sympathize with life for maintaining misery as one of its kept promises. Affliction is sometime a major tool in shaping an individual character. I may never understand what my sister had to undergo in raising us but in doing so it has given me the inner strength which signifies the Vires that transcends in my life; Because these obstacles have sharpened my ability to continue on the road to success without any hesitation due to the fact that I'm certain if I maintain the cost, victory will surely be mine.
Its a good essay, but seems a little short for FSU, especially at the end of the application period, Is there a word limit or recommendation? here are just a few suggestions. Good luck and go 'Noles!
manifest itself in one's life>>>>>>>>> manifest itself during one's life
we had to be separated>>>>>>>>>>> my sisters and I had to be separated
accomplishment, in raising>>>>>>>>> accomplishment of raising
but when I recall how my sister, raised the four of us including herself and was able to finish high school>>>>>>>>>> but as I recall how my sister raised three children in addition to herself but still was able to finish high school
perseverance was a major>>>>>>> perseverance has become a major
It has been said that diamonds and gold are precious; indeed, they are. But, there is something in life that is more precious then diamonds and gold, and that is love.
These are good sentences badly placed. Perhaps either you should omit it or make it the beginning of the paragraph.
As I make made my way through high school, I encounter encountered countless barriers ...
I barely passpassed my assignments throughout the first quarter.
While rechecking look at the tense. You often shift to present tense when they should have been past
in my life;Because
There should be a full stop instead.
