Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by anchanado
Joined: Dec 19, 2010
Last Post: Dec 31, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: USA

Displayed posts: 8
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
anchanado   
Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "a career path in psychiatry" - UPenn -What do i plan on exploring at Penn? [5]

I feel like it doesn't have enough focus and i don't know how to focus it.thank you in advance everyone!

Here is the prompt:

Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?

As I strongly consider a career path in psychiatry, I believe that declaring psychology as my major would lay a strong foundation for my future career. My career goal is to become a psychiatrist with a focus on schizophrenia and autism. The University of Pennsylvania College of Arts and Sciences has a supportive student body. Contrary to the cutthroat competition that can be found at other prestigious universities, UPenn nurtures a student body that truly cares for and supports one another. When taking a complex course like psychology, this aspect of Penn is very beneficial as I can look to other students for help. At the University of Pennsylvania, it is the norm for students to be academically strong while still participating in numerous extracurricular activities. The University of Pennsylvania is a place where scientists by day become rockstars at night. This Hannah Montana-esque double life really captivates me. I can imagine myself, a psychology major studying for class and engaging in heated conversations with my contemporaries at bookstores throughout the day while also practicing my Bharathanatyam dancing for the PenNaatak Theater performance at night.

In my mind, research is just as pertinent to an academic subject as the course itself. By conducting research the Penn Brain Behavior Center and the Center of Autism Research, I can further my career interest in those areas. While majoring in psychology, if the opportunity exists, I would like to attend various seminars on schizophrenia or autism at the Penn Department of Psychiatry.

UPenn is definitely a perfect fit for me. Where else can I find Atma, a South Asian all female acapella group that sings my favorite Hindi song, Bole Chudiyan? The answer is only at Penn. As the co-president of my school's Asian Appreciation club and an executive of the diversity club, I have a strong interest in understanding, appreciating, and incorporating other cultural values in my life. Through UPenn's study abroad program I will be able to accomplish that goal while still learning about my area of academic interest in another nation. As an only child, I have always wanted a younger sibling. Penn caters to my needs with the Penn Pals program, where I can "adopt" a younger sibling from the neighboring Drew Elementary School. I have always been great at giving advice to my friends in their hour of crisis; at Penn I can reach out to other students and offer them my best advice through the Reach a Peer Program. I can imagine myself attending the Spring Fling concert with my friends and enjoying the talents of my favorite big-name musical artists like Ok Go and Kid Cudi. Penn is definitely where I want to be, and it is where my heart is.
anchanado   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS" personal statement for common app [7]

i love your beginning. it really creates a good hook. i agree with jshah. your current concluding sentence is great. i especially enjoyed your short anecdotes in the middle of your story. nice essay and good luck!
anchanado   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "And here is the courtyard." -What don't you know?--BROWN [3]

I'm not really sure if this answers the question but here it is:

French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

"And here is the courtyard." I listen closely as my mom introduces me to the different aspects of her medical college, elements from her past. As she fondly takes me down each hallway and into each classroom, I realize what this place means to her. To her, Tirulveli Medical College was not just a place she spent six years of her life, it was a train transporting her to the next station of her life, and that train was filled with some of the best memories of her life.

]"Look at the dorms. See how small they are? Yeah, four of us had to fit in here." With her head filled with nostalgia, she tells me how each room, professor, and classmate impacted her life. She tells me how her favorite class was pathology and how she almost decided to be a pathologist. She remembers how her favorite professor, Dr. Venugopal, was so dedicated that he stayed overnight with the on-call team to teach them how to read complex EKGs. Her eyes start to fill with tears as she remembers all of her good experiences.

I hope someday my life will be filled with such enchanting experiences. Who will be my Dr. Venugopal? Where is my Tirulveli Medical College?
Now, as I sit and think about my future, I wonder what I will be showing and telling my kids years from now. Would I be giving them a tour of my medical school? If so, which medical school? Even though these questions remain unanswered, there is one thing I am certain of: my own career in medicine. I know that medicine is something I will pursue, but whether it is at Brown or any other university, only time will tell.

So, will I have a loving husband, twin boys, and a dog named Rover all before I'm thirty? Who knows, but that is the fun in life: not knowing what the future holds.
anchanado   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "my Grandma's house in Rhode Island" - Why Brown [3]

talk more about why you are interested in international relations. talk about your other interests in brown. i personally don't think that you should compare it to URI. talk more about why you like Rhode Island and providence. add more about the campus life. overall just talk more about this school. i don't think that you really convey your sense of urgency to go there in this essay. what clubs do you want to join? if you are going to compare it to URI then why is it better? how do you know this?

this is a good starting point and i'm sure with a few more revisions yours will be perfect! good luck!
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳