Undergraduate / "Terrorism and persecution, rising out of misunderstanding" Common App Personal Essay [6]

Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

I've decided to write about the way religion has been used as a drive towards conflict (Terrorism and other forms of persecution) Please tell me if I properly address the topic, feel free to critique harshly or even suggest a rewrite if need be.

Terrorism, and persecution often seem to have religious drives. But I do not understand our capability to alienate each other on the basis of religion and try to press our "correct" religion and views onto others. Religion should be a binding force among humanity , not one that causes wars like the one in Afghanistan. This exploit using religion as an excuse for violence disturbs me deeply.

Religion is the belief in a God or Gods and rules of moral conduct and tradition of a region. Each individual perceives this God in a relative form and relative attributes depending upon his or her level of knowledge, both true and false, and the environment and culture in which he or she lives or has lived. When asked, almost all of us will say that our religion is correct. But a problem arises when some start proclaiming that only their religion is correct, their God is the true one and that only their religious laws and way of life is correct. This disturbs me deeply, for it causes unnecessary harm and bloodshed. The activities of religious extremists are often as violent as that of criminals, the only difference being these "religious" people use their religion as an excuse for their activities. Too many people have died due to misunderstandings of religion, in the middle ages it was the crusades, now it is the activities of religious terrorists. None of the people I know have been direct victims of such activities, but that is not cause enough for me to brush it off as unrelated to me. We are not the people of a village, city, or nation. We are all people of this world. It hurts me deeply that we kill each other over petty squabbles caused by misunderstanding.

What misunderstanding you ask? It is simple, we do not realize that if our religion can be true and correct in our eyes and serve our spiritual needs, why cannot another religion be true and correct in the view of someone else and equally serve them? If God, Allah, Brahman, or any other name given to the "Supreme God" of a religion is all powerful, then what is there to say, this God could not create other religions in other regions of the world, with different rules, traditions and forms? There is nothing in any religion that states such a thing is impossible for God. In such a case why do we limit the power of God by saying that only the form and ways that was revealed to us by him/her or formless being is the only right way? Why do we not see the possibility that maybe, just maybe, that this God we believe in is but the form of that one God that we with our limited perception, can see?

As a result, when I view religiously motivated harm or killing of fellow global citizens, it is as if one is killing the other because one calls an object a flower and the other calls it flor. What is it within us that drives us to even kill simply because what we know by one name is called in a different name? To this day I cannot understand, and I continue to think about this matter, still hurt by the loss of innocent lives. I will strive for a solution, but it cannot be more war, for as Mohandas Gandhi said: "An eye for an eye, makes whole world blind."

580 Words

Thanks in advance for your revisions.

Undergraduate / "Green Energy" Cornell Engineering Essay. [4]

I wrote this for the Cornell Engineering Essay, please critique freely, i want to improve it as much as possible. Thanks.

Prompt: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

The Chernobyl incident, the recent explosion at the New Zealand coal mine and countless burning coal fires are all products of "dirty" fuel. Not only have these incidents caused environmental damage, they also endanger lives on a daily basis. Each individual on this planet has the right to a full and proper life; this however will not be possible if the world wide use of non-renewable and damaging fuels is stopped. For this to be a reality we need to look at a "greener" source of energy - literally.

What if we can successfully manage to synthesize the units of chlorophyll which allow plants to perform photosynthesis? We could ourselves perform photosynthesis at laboratories and produce clean energy. Why not genetically engineer plants to output the starch made from photosynthesis as heat or chemicals and capture this energy? We could have forests instead of barren, dangerous, and view spoiling coal mines. The balance of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere could be actively maintained by these plants while we still obtain the energy we need. If this isn't so viable could some mechanical ingenuity using a screw, wire coils, magnets and a pendulum help form a semi-continual production of energy by making use of magnetic induction, where the process can be set off by simply putting the pendulum into motion?

I've always been buffeted by ideas; I just need the direction and education to make them a reality. Further, engineering as a whole appeals to me for regardless of the area of expertise, it has to do with making ideas into realities. As a result, though I am mostly attracted to biological and chemical engineering, I remain somewhat undecided as to which specific area in engineering I wish to go towards. I believe the introduction to engineering course that Cornell offers will be valuable to me in finding the field in engineering that most appeals to me. This combined with the myriad facilities, research opportunities, helpful minors in management and financial aid available has assured me that Cornell will be the perfect location for fruition of my ideas while obtaining an engineering degree from a world class university. Such an education would provide great job opportunities, contacts and experiences that can take me to greater heights in my life.

Undergraduate / MIT "I'm proud of my Creativity", Essay [2]

Prompt: What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. [200 to 250 words]

Hello guys could you please critique this essay? Thanks.

I scribble on the white board, first drawing a pendulum, then connecting it to a screw within a coil of wire. Then I add the magnet that travels on the screw. Viola! My "Semi-continual energy generator is complete!" I've always had ideas, and I have my creativity to thank. From ideas of cars running on compressed air to electricity generators that use jet stream winds, my creativity keeps me inundated. I know some ideas are too offbeat or "not plausible" but so was the notion of spaceflight just two hundred years ago (unless you're playing Sid Meir's Civilization). Creativity keeps me at the ready to tackle any situation, stick to your guns they'd say, but thats the way of the old west, I'm sticking with my creativity.

Helen Keller once said: "College isn't the place to go for ideas. " and she's right, Its the place to make your ideas into realities. So I am doubly proud of my creativity because it has given me a bagful of ideas that I can take there, test and realize. Well of course there might be those ideas that are the proverbial bad apples, but hey that's why I am going to college, to learn the knife of knowledge to cut, shape and form my apples into works of art (and to gain the wisdom to throw away others.)

Wordcount : 225