I wrote this for the Cornell Engineering Essay, please critique freely, i want to improve it as much as possible. Thanks.
Prompt: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.
The Chernobyl incident, the recent explosion at the New Zealand coal mine and countless burning coal fires are all products of "dirty" fuel. Not only have these incidents caused environmental damage, they also endanger lives on a daily basis. Each individual on this planet has the right to a full and proper life; this however will not be possible if the world wide use of non-renewable and damaging fuels is stopped. For this to be a reality we need to look at a "greener" source of energy - literally.
What if we can successfully manage to synthesize the units of chlorophyll which allow plants to perform photosynthesis? We could ourselves perform photosynthesis at laboratories and produce clean energy. Why not genetically engineer plants to output the starch made from photosynthesis as heat or chemicals and capture this energy? We could have forests instead of barren, dangerous, and view spoiling coal mines. The balance of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere could be actively maintained by these plants while we still obtain the energy we need. If this isn't so viable could some mechanical ingenuity using a screw, wire coils, magnets and a pendulum help form a semi-continual production of energy by making use of magnetic induction, where the process can be set off by simply putting the pendulum into motion?
I've always been buffeted by ideas; I just need the direction and education to make them a reality. Further, engineering as a whole appeals to me for regardless of the area of expertise, it has to do with making ideas into realities. As a result, though I am mostly attracted to biological and chemical engineering, I remain somewhat undecided as to which specific area in engineering I wish to go towards. I believe the introduction to engineering course that Cornell offers will be valuable to me in finding the field in engineering that most appeals to me. This combined with the myriad facilities, research opportunities, helpful minors in management and financial aid available has assured me that Cornell will be the perfect location for fruition of my ideas while obtaining an engineering degree from a world class university. Such an education would provide great job opportunities, contacts and experiences that can take me to greater heights in my life.
You've written a convincing answer to the prompt.I feel it is quite good. I have a few suggestions for you;
Each individual on this planet has the right to lead a
full and properhappy and contented life; this however will not be possible ifunless the world wide use of non-renewable and damaging fuels is stopped.------- I feel the reader can capture your idea better if the part "world wide" is not there.
Why not genetically engineered plants to output the starch made from photosynthesis as heat or chemicals and capture this energy?
We could have forests instead of barren, dangerous, and
view spoiling coal mines that ruin the scenic beauty of the locality .
I've always been buffeted by ideas; I just need the direction and education to make them a reality. ------ very strong point. very convincing.
Good Luck with your application!!