Undergraduate / Demanding Columbia-"what is most appealing about Columbia & why?" [7]

Hi!

Your essay looks really nice.
Simple and straight to the point..
However, I think you should take advantage of the extra characters..
200-400 less is not a problem, but 1496 shows that you can't elaborate your arguments.
Hope that helped.

Best Wishes

Undergraduate / "Tell me what you know about math." - Common App Personal Essay [5]

Hi!
I suggest to make your conclusion somehow more general - with a more general life meaning - that does not focuses on you. "That is the only way I will success".

You may try out something that reflects a greater image of the world or life, that applies to everyone.
The rest is absolutely fine... but I feel unsure about the conclusion.

Hope that helped..

Undergraduate / Why Colby? Tried something new with some points... Gonna work? [3]

Thank you HK93

This is the revised option:

6 Reasons Why I Apply To Colby + 1 Reason Why I Should Be Admitted to Colby

I apply to Colby because...

1...I want to experience a global and liberal arts and sciences education. Colby's commitment to interdisciplinary approach of education and to diversity creates the perfect environment where I can reach my ideal model of homo universalis and acquire knowledge of sciences and politics, arts and economy and literature and environment.

"Hail, Colby, Hail!
Thy people far and near"

2...I want to develop into a well-rounded and creative neuroscientist. Human brain, neurons, neural system, patterns of behavior... all require a broad and deep knowledge of biology, chemistry, psychology, mathematics and computer sciences, and in Colby I am confident that I will gain a strong foundation that will prepare me for my career as a scientific researcher.

"Stand at thy call,
Our Alma Mater Dear."

3...I love to debate. I want to challenge every idea, every position and every belief. As a member of the George E. Murray Debate Society, I will definitely broaden the horizons of my mind and develop into a better debater and thinker.

"Thy shaded paths recall our steps
To gather at thy shrine."

4...I want to become an active citizen of the world. Colby and volunteerism are inextricably linked. From helping the local community to participating in the modern movements of social and environmental activism, Colby is a channel through which I can make a difference.

"Thy memoried halls reclaim our hearts
Till all our thoughts are thine."

5...Waterville is gorgeous. I really can't stop imagine joining the COOT program and exploring the Maine's wilderness. Not to mention that I love chilly weather and winter sports.

"Hail, Colby, Hail!
Hail, Colby, Hail!"

6...Colby has a strong spirit. I look forward to experiencing the Colby's traditions and to becoming a lifelong member of the Colby Family.

"To three we lift our hearts and homage pay;
Our Alma Mater, Hail the Blue and the Gray!"

And one more thing...
I should be admitted to Colby because
...I am ready to get inspired and willing to inspire.

Any Grammatical Errors? Should I be more specific?
Two days and counting...