Undergraduate / Hope, Energy, Ambition, Responsibility, Tolerance: Yale supplement essay [5]

Hi,guys! I'm new here on the forum. I need some sincere feedback on this essay. Please, tell me what do you think of it. Here it is:

Heart

Hope
'Where there is life, there is hope'-Cicero.
I am an optimistic person. I have always been. I believe hope has the power to keep awake both the soul and the imagination. Everything I have now is something I hoped for yesterday and everything I hope today is what I will achieve tomorrow. There is no reason not to believe in my winning since I have not lost yet.

Energy
'And what is a man without energy? Nothing-nothing at all.'-Mark Twain
This is what I need to wake up every morning, to think, to learn, to love, to laugh, to cry, to imagine, to dream, to realize, to analyze, to understand, to create my own universe. I have learned to find this vital energy in every event of my life, in every person I want to help, in every smile I receive as a 'Thank you'.

Ambition
'Big results require big ambitions'-James A. Champy
Difficulty is not put in my way to stop me. It is there to make me find the force I did not even know I had and to overcome it. Ambition gives me this hidden force along with the chance to try again as many times as necessary. I am not afraid of failing, I am afraid of losing the desire to try and the hope to succeed.

Responsibility
'Each player must accept the cards that life deals him or her. But once in hand, one must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game'-Voltaire

It is true; I want to win the game. For this I must make wise choices, think ahead and fully understand the consequences of all my acts. I do something only if I agree to its consequences and eventual side effects as I agree to the act itself.

Tolerance
'How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because some day in life, you will have been all of these.'-George Washington Carver

To my mind, tolerance is the essential ingredient of freedom. I value my freedom and this is why I can not be indifferent to others' lack of freedom. People are amazingly wonderful because of what they think and feel. The only thing I can not tolerate is intolerance.

These are the things that are important to me. These are the values that I believe in. During my life, at least one thing will be constant: the trust in my HEART.

I feel it lacks omogenity or something like this. If you have any ideas, feel free to type them. Thanks!

Undergraduate / "Every Single Moment Is a Completely New Wonder" - Common app essay [2]

hey, I have some reading for you, guys!:D
It's my common app essay, topic of my choice. Please tell what do you think!

Memento-Every Single Moment Is a Completely New Wonder

I have my past behind me to never forget where and who I was; and I look hopeful towards the future to always remember where I want to go and who I want to become. I have an infinite number of paths to follow and means to use to make this change. I have the capacity to reason and decide which of them I must, I should or I need to use. And I have this moment that allows me to connect and harmonize, to transform darkness in light, to convert dreams to reality, to search and find bridges between recent past and near future, between reality and imagination.

I associate life with a blank sheet on which I will draw lines so as to obtain harmony. No matter what point I am in, no matter when, I am free to go ahead, to turn right or left or to go back either to do better what I have done or to reconsider my way; I am free to bring new colors, new meanings and new perspectives, I am free to turn to the old ones, too. However, there is something completely prohibited: regardless of the reason, I must never stop, because not trying to find the right way is certainly a defeat, while guessing will at least eliminate the wrong options, which is always of great help. This is why I believe in the power of this moment, in the multiple possibilities bounded to it, in the chance it offers me to learn, to understand, to create, to evolve.

When thinking about all these, the desire to cover my page with bright tints, to make it as beautiful as possible and to try my best to make a difference no matter how small, comes naturally. I am aware of the obstacles I may find in my way, but I know there is no force stronger than the force of will; I know I might fail, but I also know that failure is not useless, that it has the power to open portals to discovery and to reinforce my ambition and my desire to pass trough them. So, failure is not the worst thing in the world; the very worst thing is not to try at all. For this reason, I wish I always had the courage to give it a try. And it is now, right this moment, when I have the chance to begin drawing enthusiastically a new wonderful line.

But even the greatest enthusiasm is not enough to delineate a harmonious long-lasting shape. Since I want to obtain ideal shades on my page, I must find a special instrument that will enhance my work; I must use a special brush. For this role I consider knowledge is the most appropriate. Everything I learn makes me stronger and everything I do not know makes me want to learn more. I need strength to gain the ability to design hope and fate in my dream. Also, knowledge is the key that opens even the most distant and least accessible doors that restrain access to warm joyful moments; it is through remarkable knowledge that I think I can shape my path more easily and with fewer corrections.

To build this knowledge I must live every moment for a reason and with a clear aim. There are no parts more important than others; every one of them can become the right time when I decide it. It is enough to want to make this effort. If I manage to do this, I am sure I am on the right way that allows me to proudly say: "This is what I choose, this is my dream, this is my line."

(626 words)

Thanks! :D