Writing Feedback / The sense of competition in children: co-operate rather than compete? [5]

TOPIC: Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Other believe that children who are taught to co-oprate rather than compete become more useful adult.

My essay

Today, the accurate education is considered as a crucial affair for having more productive adult .Regarding this , there are two different perspectives .Some people argue that children should be trained for co-operating in various communities while there are a number of people who believe that creating the sense of competition is a convenient solution .This essay reveals the fact that teaching the methods of contributing contains more advantages as a result.

It could be accepted that rivalry may bring about increasing the independency in each person or causes everyone to make progress personally ;however, there is a little evidence to support that .For instance ,although the feeling of achieving all honors individually may be pleasant for each person, the strong feeling of weakness in failures should not be neglected ; moreover ,competition usually is associated with the sense of envy leading to taking an immoral action against others such as ,dismissing someone from work.

Coop rating is one of the most prominent elements for living .I tend to think that children should be taught if they are to be part of society . statistics has illustrated that team-working has more positive aspects .such as diminishing the pressure especially in hard ships ,working eagerly and peacefully as well .Since they are informed they have direct influence on the other members of group ,so they assume their responsibilities much better .By this I mean to say that they are more helpful and hard working .According to some researches the rate of violence is lower among them and they are greatly happier .They have high self confidence in comparison with the other group who are on competition basis .

In the final analysis, I believe children become more capable when they are taught to co-operate rather than compete.

Writing Feedback / The external elements have dominated the features of everyone? Characteristics. [5]

Topic: Research indicates that the characteristic taht we are born with has much more influence on personality and development that any experiences that may have in our life

my essay

Some people argue that the external elements have dominated the features of everyone that inherits genetically. Regarding this, there is a massive number of theories have been issued thus far. The question is which one of these two factors, nature and nurture, is more effective on forming the character of each person. In this essay, the influence of nurture is far out weights than nature.

There is a speculation that imply, not only genes but also the mental and physical disposition of both genders prior to fertilizing the male`s see into the eggs ensure a crucial influence on characteristics. For instance, it is imperative whether the woman and the man love each other, whether they are using drug or alcohol etc.; however, there is not adequate evidence to support this theory. It has not confirmed for certain yet.

It is undeniable that every one carries the number of genes that has been inherited by their parents; however, statistics have illustrated the environment has the major influence. The examination on several twins who have been raised in various environments reveals the fact that definite effects of nature are refuted. Although the twins had varied many common gens, their upbringing under two divers set of circumstances leading to becoming extremely disparate; moreover, I tend to think that the role of peers, teachers, workplaces as well as education should not be neglected. On the basis of my experience there is a large number of siblings who are significantly different. There is no similarity can be observed on their behavior since they were associated with various people.

In the final analysis, I believe that the influence of nurturing is more major than nature.
Thank you for your attention and helping.
Pleas correct my essay and let me know I which one is correct ?(there is a massive number or there are a massive number?) ( there are a large number of siblings or there is a large number of siblings?)