Undergraduate / My Statement of Purpose for UT Austin for Petroluem Engineering Program [3]

Here is my Statement. I not sure if this is the type of essay the admission officers are looking for. I need help from someone to look at it. Any comment and advise is welcome. I think i wrote too much, but i don't know what to cancel... PLEASE HELP... Thank u in advance.

"Statement of Purpose

Also i can't make the essay any longer because of the requirment. It's already too long they way it is right now,and if i need to add something, i need to delete something, and i don't know what.

As of the way the essay is right now, what do you think is unnecessary. I don't want to give the admission office too much to read.

----------
Here is the final copy as for right now. Look at the last 2 sentences of the conclusion, what do you think?

Until the age of twenty-three, I wanted to be an Electrical Engineer, just like my paternal grandfather. Although I have never met him, hearing stories about him, his accomplishments and the fact that he is the first engineer in the family, made me feel like I've known him all my life. I wanted to be like him, someone who achieved his goals despite the hardship. When I was schooling in Nigeria and then moved to Italy at age of twelve, I never lost sight of my goal. By all means, I was determined in becoming an electrical engineer myself.

When it was time to pick a field of study for college in Italy, I choose electrical engineering. I enjoyed studying, and really loved working in the field. Through internship and work, I had the opportunity to closely work with experienced engineers in the development of lighting, wiring systems, building motors, and many more. Applying what I learned in school in the work field was very satisfying. It made me feel smart and capable to do the work, and that just gave me more motivation to pursue a higher education.

Even though I've always thought I wanted to be an electrical engineer, I had a change of heart when I fell in love at first sight with petroleum engineering. This happened in spring of 2007 when I went to Nigeria for vacation. I visited an oil and gas drilling company with my uncle and I was blown away by the drilling of oil. I felt like a newborn discovering his hand and feet for the first time. I was attracted by the way such an important natural resource was obtained. Immediately I wished I could participate in the drilling to see more and learn more instead of just staying back and watching what was going on. It was a very exciting experience, and right on the spot where I stood, I could imagine myself on that field. The guy who did all the research and telling others what and how to do the job. Without hesitation my new goal and dream changed in becoming a petroleum engineer.

Before graduating college in Italy I knew I was not going to continue my education in that country. I knew that obtaining a degree there will not be valued as it should in other countries because of the language, and that if I stayed in Italy I will not obtain the level of job I deserved. After graduating from college, with a lot of hopes and prayers, I applied for a student visa for the United States, and it was granted.

When I arrived in the United States things were not as I expected. I discovered that my college diploma from Italy had no value, and that I needed to re-obtain an associate degree in order to obtain a bachelor degree. I was really upset by the news, but I had no other option than to do what I was told. At the end, however, I realized that re-obtaining the associate degree was not such a bad idea because it gave me the chance to get used to the American educational system, and be prepared for University. Getting integrated into the new educational system was not easy. The only classes in which I excelled were the general education and the math classes, but struggled with the physics and chemistry classes because I was taking them for the first time without a base education. When I finally graduated, even though my overall GPA is not up to my satisfaction, I was very proud of myself, and I was ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.

The new chapter begins with the intention to be admitted into the Petroleum Engineering program at University of Texas in Austin. I know that obtaining a degree in this field will lead me in making a real difference through innovation, and to bring improvement to the way drilling and the processing of oil and gas are conducted in Nigeria. I understand that in order for someone to succeed in whatever they set their minds on, one needs determination, motivation, and the best education. I currently possess the first two, but lack of the third and most important one. This is the reason why I am applying to University of Texas in Austin. I believe you have the tools necessary to help me achieve my goals. With your help and my willpower, I know I can and will succeed. By all means, I am ready and more determined than ever to realize my dream no matter what it takes.

Undergraduate / Change in a person's life ; Issue of importance [4]

"Choose an issue of importance to you ï the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope ï and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation."

==============================
Here is the essay. hope it makes sence. I think is too long, but really don't know what to take out. Please help me eliminate unnecessary sentences or paragraphs. THANK YOU!!!!

According to Wikipedia.com change is, "The process of becoming different." Change in a person's life can represent progress, while for another it can represent calamity. In my case, while I was growing up, change represented a total disaster. However, as I became wiser, I realized that yes, change in one's life can be either positive or negative and can represent progress or calamity, but in the final analysis it is one's own choice as to what to make change represent.

Growing up was not easy for me. I was born in Ado-Ekiti, in Ekiti State, Nigeria. Until the age of five my life was fantastic. I was the first and only son of the next King to the throne of Ire-Ekiti, a small city in the heart of Nigeria. Until my brother was born, I had everything I wanted, especially the attention of my parents and all the relatives. My freedom ended when my brother started crawling because I could no longer go out and play anytime I wanted. I was forced to stay home and watch him so he would not hurt himself. Many times I had to sit down on the floor and have him sit on my lap so that he could be comfortable while drinking from his bottle.

In my opinion, my life changed for the worst when I turned six years old. My parents decided to migrate to Italy for work, and my brother and I were left with relatives. Initially, I did not grasp the meaning of the situation, not because I was too small to understand, but because I was very happy that I was going to be living with my "favorite" uncle and aunt, plus their three children. The only little sadness I felt at the time was that I would not see my mother for a while.

Living with my relatives was not as fun as I thought or expected it would be. The first couple of years were nice. I really didn't feel the absence of my parents. However, things didn't remain that way. My "substitute" parents' attitude toward my brother and I started to change. They made us understand that we were not at the same level as their children. At eight years old, I found myself taking care of myself and my three-year old brother. Other than making sure we were fed, bathed, and clothed, my relatives did not care for us. Rarely did I and my brother enjoy the candies, cookies and other treats that my cousins enjoyed everyday. We would receive candies only when other relatives came to visit. My cousins had the privilege of after-school private lessons, but I had to study and do my homework alone. I studied twice has hard to get good grades, if not better grades, than my cousins. I went from being a little boy of eight years of age to gradually changing into a little adult. It didn't take me long to understand that I needed to take charge of my life and discipline myself because no one else was going to do it for me.

Even though one of our parents would visit us at least once a year, at the age of eleven I found myself no longer caring for them. I was angry with them. I wanted answers to why they both had to leave us to suffer. Still today, those questions remain unanswered. My brother on the other hand, was in a worst situation than I. He was one year old when our parents left, so he did not know them. Therefore, he did not have any sort of feelings of affection towards them. The only real family he believed he had was me.

It was the summer of my twelfth year that another change impacted my life, but this time it was a positive one. My mother came to visit and announced that she was not returning alone to Italy. Her visit was to come and take her children back with her. My brother and I were really happy and excited at the idea of leaving the country and going on a plane for the first time. After getting over the cultural shock of a new country, life and language, living in Italy was amazing. We got to play after school and have fun, learn new things, have new experiences, and come home to mom and dad, and have dinner together. Those were the most beautiful moments of my life. In a way, I was a happy child again.

Growing up I did not have anyone to guide me and encourage me that I could accomplish anything I wanted. I taught, disciplined and encouraged myself. I used to be bitter toward my parents for leaving us, but I am no more. I am actually a little thankful. Going through the six years following my sixth birthday made me who I am today. Without those experiences I don't think I would be the strong and motivated human being that I am today. Instead, I definitely think that I would be a spoiled person who expects his parents to provide for all his needs. This period of my life proved to me that I can do anything I set my mind to no matter how hard it is and no matter what people say. I've come to realize and believe that anything is possible if I want to achieve it, and saying the words "I can't" just means that I don't really want it. I still get worried whenever a change occurs in my life, but I have learned to make the best of it. Change used to represent calamity in my life, but now it represent progress -- a process necessary to mature.