Writing Feedback / IELTS- CRIMINALS RE-OFFEND AFTER HAVE BEEN PUNISHED. WHAT ARE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS? [3]

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is believed that a great number of criminals re-offend after being given punishment. There are various reasons for this, and both governments and local communities need to work together to solve this problem.

The main reasons why some people commit crimes again after they have been punished can be unemployment, poverty and insufficient education. A bad criminal record makes finding a job difficult to these people. Employers are not likely to hire someone who has broken the law and was dangerous to the community. Unemployment leads to financial difficulty. People who commit crimes often have no other way of making a living. These people are usually the ones who have lack of education so it is hard for them to work the jobs that require good skills or knowledge. Subsequently, it is often that prisoners turn to crime again when they are released from prisons.

There are several plausible approaches that can be taken by both the governments and the local communities to reduce crime and re-offending. Most importantly, prisons should provide rehabilitation programs to prisoners before releasing them into society. In these programs prisoners can be taught right behaviours and can be provided with education and vocational training. These make offenders useful in their local communities so they should be given an opportunity to have a good life. Local communities should help the offenders when they look for accommodation and work.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various causes of re-offending and both governments and domestic communities should do best to tackle this problem.

Hi everyone, I'm new here and after seeing some of your fabulous writings, I decided to start posting one of my. I'm preparing for the IELTS and will be very grateful if you guys provide me some feedback. Is the 2nd sentence in the first paragraph a OK thesis sentence. I try to write it within 40 minutes so I made it a short conclusion (same for conclusion). I'm not sure if I used insufficient education, was dangerous to, making a living, plausible approaches, and domestic communities in a correct way. Thank you.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- SHOULD PRACTICAL SKILLS BE TAUGHT AT SCHOOL? [4]

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the skills which help to deal with everyday problems are always useful. However, not many practical skills can be taught to school children along with knowledge from text books. I would disagree that schools should teach skills like bank account management or car maintenance.

Nowadays, we live in a knowledge-based economy in which independent thinking and problem solving are the most important skills. This is therefore, theoretical materials are emphasized and academic subjects such as mathematics, science and languages are taught in classes. Moreover, with timetables are already full, schools do not have time left to teach children anything else. Besides, young minds should not be overloaded with extra lessons at school to learn practical skills. If the students do not even have some free time just to relax, they might not be able to concentrate on their studies, and as a result, fail the academic subjects.

In addition to the argument against teaching practical skills at schools, it is believed that the skills like bank account management and car maintenance are not really necessary for young children to learn. This is because most adults can manage their finances well without being taught accounting lessons at school. The simple skills like opening a bank account can be easily learnt when we grow up. Likewise, car maintenance lessons are not really needed because it would be easier for most people to take their cars to a qualified mechanic.

In conclusion, schools are already doing a good job teaching traditional academic subjects. For the reasons mentioned above, if they start teaching many practical skills, the study of important academic subjects will suffer.

Hi I will be grateful if anyone can tell me whether I have a clear thesis sentence, good vocabulary uses and a right structure. thanks guys

Writing Feedback / IELTS- Education- should graduates pay the full cost of their education? [3]

It is right that university graduates should earn more money than less well educated people, but they should pay the full cost of their education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is no doubt that university graduates deserve higher salaries than the people who are less well educated. However, it is disagreed that they should pay the full cost of their courses.

There are several reasons why graduates from universities should earn good salaries. First, they have invested time and effort into gaining their qualifications. Different courses have different duration but usually university students have to study 3 or 4 years to be qualified and graduate. Second, graduates would have knowledge, skills and training required for important jobs after a long time of studying at universities. Third, they can prove themselves to be a valued asset to society with their capabilities. Some of them are able to do the jobs that not many people can do. Thus, they should be paid more than the persons who only finish year 12 or diploma.

Graduates should not be required to pay the full cost of education. That is because, if university students have to pay upfront the full amount of tuition fee for each semester or term, this fee could be too expensive and will deter many young people from going to university. In a bad scenario, students borrow money to pay the cost of their education, and then they will have a huge debt. To get the money to pay the school fees, some students even have to work in construction sites where they would have to do heavy jobs and exert themselves physically very hard.

In conclusion, for all of the reasons above, it is concluded that university graduates should be paid good salaries but they should not be required to pay the full cost of their studies. It is hoped that governments will open some funds where students can borrow from and then the salaries they receive when they work will be partly deducted to pay back their debts.

Hi all, please help to correct my writing. Thanks.