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IELTS- CRIMINALS RE-OFFEND AFTER HAVE BEEN PUNISHED. WHAT ARE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS?


callmedumbazz 3 / 4  
Jul 29, 2011   #1
Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is believed that a great number of criminals re-offend after being given punishment. There are various reasons for this, and both governments and local communities need to work together to solve this problem.

The main reasons why some people commit crimes again after they have been punished can be unemployment, poverty and insufficient education. A bad criminal record makes finding a job difficult to these people. Employers are not likely to hire someone who has broken the law and was dangerous to the community. Unemployment leads to financial difficulty. People who commit crimes often have no other way of making a living. These people are usually the ones who have lack of education so it is hard for them to work the jobs that require good skills or knowledge. Subsequently, it is often that prisoners turn to crime again when they are released from prisons.

There are several plausible approaches that can be taken by both the governments and the local communities to reduce crime and re-offending. Most importantly, prisons should provide rehabilitation programs to prisoners before releasing them into society. In these programs prisoners can be taught right behaviours and can be provided with education and vocational training. These make offenders useful in their local communities so they should be given an opportunity to have a good life. Local communities should help the offenders when they look for accommodation and work.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various causes of re-offending and both governments and domestic communities should do best to tackle this problem.

Hi everyone, I'm new here and after seeing some of your fabulous writings, I decided to start posting one of my. I'm preparing for the IELTS and will be very grateful if you guys provide me some feedback. Is the 2nd sentence in the first paragraph a OK thesis sentence. I try to write it within 40 minutes so I made it a short conclusion (same for conclusion). I'm not sure if I used insufficient education, was dangerous to, making a living, plausible approaches, and domestic communities in a correct way. Thank you.
Alisha123 9 / 18  
Jul 29, 2011   #2
As it is ur first essay and you seem beginner , however I am also new but got invaluable help from forum.

- Like one of our contributors Ajit says, you must write a five paragraph essay for IELTS.

1. Introduction: a thematic overview of the topic, and introduction of the thesis;
2. Narration: a review of the background literature to orient the reader to the topic; also, a structural overview of the essay;
3. Affirmation: the evidence and arguments in favor of the thesis;
4. Negation: the evidence and arguments against the thesis; these also require either "refutation" or "concession";
5. Conclusion: summary of the argument, and association of the thesis and argument with larger, connected issues.
good luck :)

Follow this pattern whilst writing your essays..

Best of luck..
OP callmedumbazz 3 / 4  
Jul 29, 2011   #3
Hi, thanks for the comment.

I have edited my essay a bit ( I added an example in the 3rd paragraph). Here is the new one:

It is believed that a great number of criminals re-offend after being given punishment. There are various reasons for this, and both governments and local communities need to work together to solve this problem.

The main reasons why some people commit crimes again after they have been punished can be unemployment, poverty and insufficient education. A bad criminal record makes finding a job difficult to these people. Employers are not likely to hire someone who has broken the law and was dangerous to the community. Unemployment leads to financial difficulty. People who commit crimes often have no other way of making a living. These people are usually the ones who have lack of education so it is hard for them to work the jobs that require good skills or knowledge. Subsequently, it is often that prisoners turn to crime again when they are released from prisons.

There are several plausible approaches that can be taken by both the governments and the local communities to reduce crime and re-offending. Most importantly, prisons should provide rehabilitation programs to prisoners before releasing them into society. In these programs prisoners can be taught right behaviours and can be provided with education and vocational training. These make offenders useful in their local communities so they should be given an opportunity to have a good life. Local communities should help the offenders when they look for accommodation and work. For example, in some Western countries, offenders are paid for talking to school groups or for cleaning public areas. These help to curb their situations and provide them hopes to start a new life.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various causes of re-offending and both governments and domestic communities should do best to tackle this problem.


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