Writing Feedback / IELTS; Wealthy vs Poor Nations; not only a moral deed, but also a worthwhile one [3]

Topic:
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Essay:
Whether wealthy nations should take responsibilities to help poorer ones, by means of providing infrastructures, or remain bystander of the global poverty, is an issue of controversy. Personally I think, as the privileged minority, wealthy nations have every reason to share their fortune with the poor.

In terms of ethics, it is inhumane to watch one's fellowman struggle against famine and poverty without doing anything to help, especially when the onlooker takes no effort to do so. Compassion, a virtue preached in almost all religions from Buddhism to Mohammedanism, is what distinguishes us human beings from animals.

Economically speaking, such aid could also create a win-win situation. Underdeveloped nations no doubt receive direct benefits through such deeds. For developed nations, new medical problems may very well arise from the work in underdeveloped nations; thus related research is conducted accordingly to conquer the problem, promoting the development of the pharmaceutical industry. The potential market in those poor countries, most of which has a huge population, is also a thing worth mentioning. By building a good relationship with them, wealthy nations can not only broaden their global market, but also facilitate future international commerce. The underdeveloped nations, in return, may export local agricultural products, mineral products with discount to the former, boosting each other's economy.

In summary, wealthy nations' offering in need is not only a moral deed, but also a worthwhile one which will one day pay off in other ways. Only those who sympathize with their fellowman can prosper in the long run.

Writing Feedback / "Music is a well-received art form" - IELTS - Music [3]

Topic:
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Essay:
Music is a well-received art form whose basic elements are sound and silence. Originated from prehistoric eras, it now has evolved into a great variety of genres and subgenres, which is by no means a coincidence.

Though generally perceived as a means of emotional expression, music has far more functional uses beyond that. Music therapy is now widely used by psychologists to deal with sensory impairment, cognitive disorders, and communication disabilities, to name only a few. Farmers nowadays are using music to enhance the production of agricultural products, which is cheap, clean and easy to implement. Still another aspect worth mentioning is the music industry itself. With the development of compact disc, digital devices and the Internet, music nowadays comprises a large proportion of people's daily entertainment, therefore giving birth to a new industry in modern society. No instances other than the prosperity of Apple's iPod and iTunes could demonstrate that more tellingly.

Some may argue since the trend of globalization is getting accelerated, traditional music of a country will gradually diminish, citing as evidence that International music can be heard almost everywhere nowadays. Such prediction is unfounded. Music by itself is a certain output of one's thoughts, which is inevitably influenced by ancestors' cultural heritage. Because of such a character, no music will be genuinely accepted without sharing a common cultural recognition with its people.

As to conclude, it is foreseeable that music will continue to play an important role in modern society, not only giving people mental soothing and releasing, but also providing solution to a variety of problems. And despite the pace of cultural integration, the importance of traditional music will remain its statue.

Writing Feedback / "job transferring" - IELTS - Career [NEW]

Topic:
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Essay:
According to a famous psychological theory, the Maslow's hierachy of needs, when the basic and foundamental needs are satisfied, people tend to desire the next higher level, say seeking self-realization from success in work and study. This may help to explain why a growing number of people nowadays are pursuing more than one career and continually receiving education throughout the life.

For a long period of time, it's been believed that a single career is what things should be like for most people. Stickness to a company may even be perceived as loyalty or persiverance, taking into little, if any consideration of the match between individuals and the organization. However, with the arrival of information era, things have changed a great deal. Informative of the most up-to-date recruiting news via the Internet, people nowadays have more initiatives than they previously did. To suit oneself to a dream position, according to the criteria clearly stated in job description, dream-holders have every reasons to get a realted diploma or certificate. By means of forums, twitter and other SNS networks, informal sources of information like gossips about a certain corporation may spread quickly and widely among public. All the factors mentioned above are responsible for a shorter emplyment frequently occuring nowadays.

Despite the truth that such a change marks the acendence of employees' status in the job market, it is undeniable that disadvantages also exist. More frequent job transferring can do harm to both sides. As for employers, potantial risk of information leak often accompanies the leave of staff. As for employees, an experienced record of changing jobs may very well form a sterotype of unreliability, which could harm one's future career.

In a word, though being a widespread phenomenon, changing jobs should be an approach to adopt only after carefully assessing the overall situation. Blindly following the so-called fashion will only bring about negative affects.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Is Capital Punishment essential to control violence in society? [3]

Question:
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society.

Essay:
Capital punishment, a cruel and unusual punishment in the legal system, has long been an issue of controversy. While supporters hold that execution deters crime, opponents claim it is inhumane to deprive fellow men's life, whoever they are.

Admittedly, possibility exists that capital punishment may lead to miscarriage of jurisdiction by mistakenly executing innocent suspects. To make things even more complicated, political conspiracies have repeatedly pushed innocent victims to death in the name of jurisdiction. Take Socrates and Jesus Christ for example, both of them were imposed death sentence as dissents for violating the ruler's interest, but as is undeniable today, both of the two have made huge contributions to the human civilization.

However, these reasons mentioned above are inefficient to serve as evidence to abolish the capital punishment, because death penalty, despite its minor fault, plays a vital part in preserving the safe and security of the whole society. Not only can it ensure that the convicted criminal won't offend a second time, it is also regarded as the best "legalized revenge" to victims' family. The cost of life itself also poses as a threat to potential criminals, preventing them from harming the others. A society which imposes no more severe punishment than life imprisonment on murderers is one that perceives murder as a tolerable and unimportant issue, which is no doubt against human rights.

On balance, we can safely conclude that capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. But to render it more unbiased, related regulations need refining to ensure a more effective and judicative legal system.