Undergraduate / PSU Schreyers Honors Essay. NEED HELP [2]

Hi. Can you give me some advice and suggestions on this essay? Thank you very much.

Topic: You are given the power, for one day, to be an invisible observer at an historic event. Although you will not be able to change the course or the outcome of the event, you will be able to bring back to the present all the insights you gain. Explain which historic event you would most like to witness, and why you think being an observer at that event would help you make an important contribution to the future.

As a Korean descendant, I would like to witness the Korean War, which broke out in 1950. My grandfather fought in the Korean War, so I would like to gain the memories, stories, and insights that belong to my grandfather. By gaining them, I would like to make history more accurate, so that the whole world will know the truth about the Korean War. The other reason is that I would like to pass them down to my descendants and my friends. Although I could pass down the stories I have heard from my father and grandfather, as an observer, I would give new insights to these stories.

This war is very important to me because it involves my country. It split the country into two different nations along the 38th parallel: north and the south. By witnessing the Korean War, I would like to contribute to the future by writing a more accurate and a less biased history by clearing up the questions and misconceptions that people may have about the Korean War. There are common misconceptions that are repeatedly voiced by the Korean War veterans. One of the common misconceptions is that "54,000 people died in Korean War." We do not know if this is actually reliable, but many tend to rely on them, which I believe is not the right way of learning history. We need evidences and information to support it. I am not saying that the misconception is correct, but I think we should a reason to everything. By clearing up these misconceptions, I wish that no one will have any misunderstandings about the Korean War.

The second reason I want to observe the Korean War is to pass down the stories to my descendants and my friends. I believe that people should at least fully understand their country's history and the culture. So by passing down the stories, insights, and knowledge I have gained by observing the Korean War, I hope my descendants can fully understand the Korean history and its culture. It would also be important to share my experiences with my friends because I have witnessed the lack of coverage of this important war in my own school's history classes and as a Korean, I was disappointed. By sharing my memories, I wish my family and friends will gain a better understanding of my culture, as well as its history.

My ultimate goal is to spread the insights and knowledge I have gained to entire world because many people know so little about my country's history. There are some people out there who do not even know that Korea exists because it is such a small country and it does not have a great influence, or power. I have always wanted to help spread my country's history somehow, so if I am really given this power, I will not lose my chance to help spread my country's history throughout the world. Although I cannot change the outcome of the war, I will change the knowledge of the people.

Undergraduate / developing life threatening disease - Penn State #2 Essay [2]

Plese give me suggestions and advice. Thank You.

Topic: Recent medical advances have included new techniques that help scientists learn more about how genes work and how they may be linked to disease. This has led to expanded availability of genetic testing and recent legislation in the US Congress. If you could be tested to determine the likelihood of developing life threatening disease in your lifetime, would you choose to do so? Why or why not?

Many people would have the same answer: no. But unlike them, I have a different opinion myself. This is certainly a difficult decision because my life depends on it, but I do have strong reasons. I would like to make a contribution to the research even though it will be a small contribution alone. If these small contributions add up, a treatment for any life threatening diseases will be founded. Of course, I would not be tested on an early age, but I would certainly give it a try when I get old and weak.

HIV/AIDS is one of the life threatening diseases without a treatment that is claiming millions of lives. If we take a look at some of the HIV/AIDS facts, 2.6 million people died of AIDS in 1999, 16,000 people are newly infected with HIV everyday, 16,516 Americans died of AIDS in 1997, and between 650,000 and 900,000 Americans are currently infected with HIV. It is predicted that the federal funding for HIV/AIDS research will exceed 2 billion dollars this year. These stunning and surprising facts have led me to the decision. I just cannot stay calm and still when millions are suffering with it. I believe that we should keep up the research to find the treatment for those who are infected not only with HIV/AIDS but also with other existing and upcoming life threatening diseases.

The main reason I want to be tested is that I want to make a contribution to the medical history. Exactly how will my contribution impact it? It will increase the chance of finding the treatment. If we do, millions of lives will be saved and lastly, a cure will save untold amounts of public and private money currently spent on providing health care and treatment for those infected and suffering from the disease. Sacrifices of many bodies can save billions of people and billions of dollars. Although my contribution will not make a huge difference, I believe that sum of small contributions will eventually lead to a historical discovery.

Risking my life for the millions is definitely worth it. People who deny have the same reason; they are afraid of death and they do not want to risk their precious life. This is unreasonable because eventually, we are going to have to face death, so why not make it worth it by risking our lives for the world and for our children? That is the only way to make our lives precious and worthy. If our contributions help to find the treatment for the disease, we are basically saving the lives of our children, our friends, and the world.

We should all think about the people who are suffering with the life threatening diseases such as HIV/AIDS. Sacrificing our lives for those people and for our next generation is going to change their lives completely. Our sacrifice, participation and contribution will lead to a great, historical, and amazing discovery that will impact the world forever.

Undergraduate / Recommend change to our next president - Penn State #3 Essay [2]

Please give me suggestions and advice on this piece.

Topic: The country will see a new president elected this year, with "change" the document theme from both candidates for the nation's top office. Regardless of your political preferences, what one change would you recommend to our next president, if you had a one-on-one audience with him shortly after his election?

I just cannot wait till I get home and turn on the computer to see the result and when I have time in school, I always get online and see where it stands. It is the economy that I am concerned with. Right now, we are seeing the downfall of the economy. Bank failures, bankruptcies, and rising fuel costs are keeping us awake in the night. I will ask for a stronger and more stable economy to the next U.S. president because we are on the brink of another great depression.

It fell 777.68 points on September 29, 2008, the biggest downfall in US history. This has grabbed my attention since. Then on October 15, 2008, it plunged as much as 733.08 points, the second largest loss in history. On October 25, 2008, it is calculated that it has fallen 5,785.58 points, or 41% just in one year and it still is continuing the down slope. I was just stunned looking at the graph falling and falling. It is the Dow Jones Industrial Average or commonly known as DJIA. DJIA, founded in 1884, is one of the most watched stock indexes in the world. It is created by Dow Jones & Company founder Charles Dow. It basically provides a signal of how specific markets perform each day, so if the DJIA graph has negative slope, we can easily figure out that the economy is doing poorly.

On September 14, 2008, I heard my friends and teachers saying "biggest bankruptcy in history," so I grabbed a newspaper and I noticed that Lehmann Brothers had filed chapter 11 and Merrill Lynch had sold itself to Bank of America for roughly 50 billion dollars. It was the most tragic day in Wall Street's history. Two biggest financial and investment services in America crashed. It was then when I found out that our economy is in great danger. Lots of other financial and insurance companies were also being acquired by larger companies. Countrywide financial company was acquired by Bank of America, American International Group was acquired by the US government, and JPMorgan Chase acquired Washington Mutual. Not only the banks have filed chapter 11, but also the airlines have filed bankruptcies and have discontinued all operations.

At the end of my junior year, the newspapers and internet was full of stories of bankruptcy. It was the airlines filing chapter 11. ATA airlines, Aloha airlines, and Skybus filed bankruptcies and discontinued all operation and Frontier airlines filed bankruptcy protection. The most stunning part for me was that it all happened in just two weeks. In the summer of 2008, the jet fuel price shot up and has concerned many companies and travelers. Thousands of flights were canceled each day and raised booking prices, checking bag prices, and food price and I believe that this is all due to poor economy.

This nation and this whole world need help. This is a global economy crisis. I know that it will take time for the economy to get back on track, so I would like to ask the new president to start as soon as possible to build a better economy. This is not only my voice, but the voice of the nation and the voice of the world.

Undergraduate / "Personal or academic interests." Univ. of Ill essay. [2]

Topic: Write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals. (Less than 300 words)

Airplane is a big star for little children, but as they grow up, they tend to shift their interest. When I was growing up, I have never lost my interest on airplanes. I was so fascinated about airplanes that I drew airplanes everyday and received an artistic award in first grade. As of now, I am a big fan of flight simulator games and I have been playing that game as long as I could remember.

Because of my passion, I once thought about becoming a pilot, but my parents were against it because of its risks, so I continually thought about majoring in something related to aircrafts. One day I was doing a career search and it gave me a list of majors according to my interests. Then suddenly two words came off the page: Aerospace Engineering. I clicked on it and read about it. It was exactly what I was looking for: develop, design and test aircrafts and missiles. I was eager to talk to my parents as soon as they got home. This time, they supported me. I found out that engineering is all about math and science, but I had no worries because I always excelled in my math classes and always had interest in physics and chemistry classes. I felt like I was born to become an aerospace engineer. Since then, I started growing my passion for aerospace engineering. Now, I am ready to take all the challenges and become the best aerospace engineer.

Undergraduate / "Choose one activity." Univ. of Ill essay [3]

Topic: Choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the lost you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it. (Less than 300 words)

If I had to choose one activity, I would choose the volunteer service at a hospital. I volunteered at a hospital as a snack bar assistant for a year and a half. This activity was the first activity in my high school career and it became the most meaningful activity in my life.

I started this volunteer service with the force of my cousin. At first, I was lazy and hated going to the volunteer service, but after few months, I started to like it not because I got free milk shakes and dinner, but because I was able to help the sick. When I saw patients walking by with the support of their family, I was not able to stop thanking God for giving me such a health and giving me the chance to make them snacks and foods.

When watching a patient enjoying the milk shakes I made, I just could not be happier. It was the feeling that you just cannot describe with words. That is why I continued this activity for a year and a half. Certainly, I benefited from this volunteer service. It had taught me a lesson: the chance you are given to help the patients is the gift from the angels. When you know that you are helping someone, be thankful that you are healthy enough to actually help the sick.