Undergraduate / In the hospitable bed, UF Essay: Meaningful Experience [2]

Hey I could really use a set of eyes on this essay and some feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

As I lay motionless in the hospitable bed, still woozy from the anesthetics, I slowly started to take in my surroundings; a pale white room with a single chair facing my bed, a loud beeping emanating from a computer screen displaying my vitals, and about seven different tubes protruding from my arms and neck. It was somewhere in this confusion and unfamiliarity that I began to realize that from this moment on, my life would never be as easy as it used to be.

My back "problems" started for the first time during my freshman year in high school. While conditioning with the lacrosse team for the upcoming season, the tendons located in my legs suddenly seized up during sprints and caused a stress fracture in my lower spine. The doctor told me that it was extremely unlikely that I would be able to play at all for the rest of the lacrosse season. After much rehabilitation and weeks of physical therapy, I regained the ability to run full speed with only minimal pain. However, during my junior year, I fractured my back snowboarding, this time in two regions on the same vertebrae. My orthopedist, (who I'd come to know very well over the past three years), told me that my one of my vertebrae was almost completely severed and that without surgery, I could potentially risk lower body paralysis.

Leonardo da Vinci once said "Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind." It's been 4 months and 8 days since I came off of the operating table and everyday since then I have struggled to reclaim my "former life." Even to this day, I still have the feeling that I'm trapped in a different body, a weaker body. But with each new day, I strive to better myself both physically and mentally. I refuse to let this obstacle stand in my way to a brighter future. It is this dedication and perseverance that I believe I will bring with me to the University of Florida.

Undergraduate / FSU Essay: "Vires, Artes, Mores", focus on "Vires" [4]

I decided to focus on "Vires" for this particular essay. Any feedback or critiques would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Until last year, I had never truly understood the concept of "vires," or strength. I had always arrived at the notion that strength was merely a physical trait, acquired through vigorous training and constant exercise. While I still believe this the forefront of the concept of "physical strength," the truth of strength is found elsewhere.

Since my child hood, I have always been athletic. Whether it is skiing, snowboarding, aggressive inline skating, swimming, football, or lacrosse, I've always been on the move. But that all changed in high school. During my freshman year, while training for lacrosse, my tendons seized up and caused a stress fracture in my lower spine. I couldn't play for the first half of the season. After much rehabilitation, I was able to play lacrosse again my sophomore year, but with a continuous pain. During my junior year, I fractured my back for the second time snowboarding, this time in two different spots. My back was too weak and I lost the chance to play lacrosse during the spring. Surgery was my only option.

It's been 4 months and 8 days since I came off of the operating table and everyday since then I have struggled to reclaim my life. Even to this day, I still have the feeling that I'm trapped in a different body, a weaker body. Nevertheless, I strive to strengthen my body through physical therapy and constant dedication. Although I lost much of my physical strength, I learned the truth of a more valuable kind of strength.

It is this strength which I find within my self that is derived from my inner ambition. It's what drives me and inspires me every day to continue to persevere. Some call it passion; others call it an urge or desire. But in reality, it's an intrinsic strength found within those who wish to achieve greatness. I believe this "vires" or strength is what will benefit me most in my coming years. This is the strength that will guide me on my path to excellence.