Writing Feedback / IELTS essay -Young people taking study break for work or travel [NEW]

Hi there, Please help me to rate my essay.

Topic in details :
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Here is my essay:

There has been a growing number of young people decide to take study break for work or vacation before continue pursuing higher education. Some parents believed it is advantageous whereas others were not convinced and strongly opposed to it.

It if of certain some young people who made up this decision were motivated by few benefits caused. First, it helps them to become more confident and independent. The youngsters experience real life's challenges and obstacles by staying out and working for living.This life experience assists them in understanding meaning of life and develop more mature personality.

Second, different life experiences gained during the gap year period clarify their ideas and choices of study. They are more self-aware and know exactly what career path they would like to pursue in adulthood.

Despite of some benefits it brought, there are some drawbacks about taking time off study.First if all, some people might find difficulty to adjust themselves back to routine of study. They loss motivation and interests in acquiring higher degree.

Moreover, they are putting themselves at risk of not being able to enrol to desired course or college as some colleges strictly control the enrollment application and would prefer students further studies immediately after secondary school.

In addition,it it costly to stop study temporary at this golden age as young people not only spending their money but their precious time in exploring the world and themselves.They may feel left behind or over-aged after rejoining college or university by looking other fellow peers had become senior or nearly finishing the study.

By and large, taking gap year for work or vacation before joining university is definately not for everyone. Young people advised to do some research beforehand and understand the objective of the decision.

Writing Feedback / Parents are the best teachers in terms of commitment and emotional support [3]

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Topic in details :

Do you agree of disagree with the following statement ? Parents are the best teachers.

Parents are the children very first teachers at the beginning of life. Parents teach children how to crawl, speak, walk, run and etc. It is undeniable that parents are the best teachers in term of commitment and emotional support which I agree with.

Parents are the most committed teacher to their children. They willing to sacrifice part of their life for betterment of children. For example, some busy working mothers would forgo their careers and stay home as full time mummy in hope to teach and nurture their children to the best. Furthermore, parents provide emotional support of all time to their children. Children look upon parents as role model. In facing living obstacles like examination pressure or friendship problems, children would seek advice and mental support from parents.Likewise, parents will provide unconditional encouragement and support in dealing the challenges.

On the other hand, parents are not considered the best teacher, particularly in term of knowledge and training, unless they are professional teachers themselves. School teachers are well trained and academic qualified. Children will be taught all the latest information, the data analytic technique and etc, by learning in an organised formal education system. Therefore, teachers are in a better position to teach children to become knowledgeable and wise.

By and large, teachers and parents both play an important and synergistic role in upbringing children. Teachers are the best source of knowledge whereas parents are the best guardian of all time to their beloved children.

Writing Feedback / Senior executives encouraged to leave at the age of 55. Agree or not? [NEW]

Good day to you. Could you please help me to assess my essay? Thank you very much!

Topic in detail;

Company should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion?

In general, most of the executive officers who held top positions in a company are those senior staffs who have been serving the company for a long time. Some of them choose to continue serving the company beyond their retired age. Therefore, concern being raised that it is an unhealthy atmosphere with too many senior executives around while there are numerous potential young people available to be promoted. I personally agree that these high positions should be vacated for young generation when an appropriate time comes by.

Certainly, young adults are the future of a company. They are energetic, enthusiatic and highly committed to job assigned. Moreover, they are generally academic qualified with the latest technical knowledge on advanced technology like computer and internet. By involving them in top level management, more creative ideas and innovative approaches are able to bring in. This will help to input motivation and passion on workforce.

Nevertheless, the contribution of senior members should not be neglected. They are the most experienced and knowledgeable in their position. Their advice and skills are invaluable, which young people are not able to learn from college or university. Moreover, they are highly reputable in the business and had established harmony relationship with other business partners.All these are essential in ensuring burgeoning growth of business.

A financially solid company is rely on contribution of both senior and junior generation. The senior executives should provide trainings and opportunities for young adults to explore and learn.Likewise, younger groups ought to respect and look upon the senior staff as their role model in term of career. This symbiosis relationship will ensure prosperous growth of a company.

Writing Feedback / Traffic and housing problems can be solved by decentralisation.Agree or not [NEW]

good morning. could you help me to assess this essay, please? Thank you so much.

Topic in details;

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
"The existence of industrial areas in major cities has always been a nuisance to local people. Problems such as traffic and housing congestion are usually closely related to their existence. Therefore, I personally agree by moving large companies and factories to rural area will ease these problems constructively.

Traffic congestion will definitely no longer be an issue for locals after the shifting of industrial areas. A considerably large number of employees are forced to move out along with their companies and this lead to reduced number of road users significantly. Local people are able to enjoy smooth and fast traffic flow, saving more time for personal and family activity. Likewise, decentralization will ease the housing problems like demand exceeding supply, over-priced property, and so on. The reduced population allows positive growth of property market to meet the locals' demands and offers more affordable housing estate for public.

However, some concerns arise as the industrial area shifted to countryside. Environmental pollution is obviously an expected negative effect. Carbon dioxide gas emitted into atmosphere and chemical waste channeled into rivers, causing the locals to no longer able to enjoy the refreshing clean air and cool atmosphere.

By and large, I personally agree with the decentralization idea. However, careful management and regular monitoring are essential in order to ensure a smooth transition process with minimum destruction in the countryside."

Writing Feedback / People have different job expectations for jobs - essay help [NEW]

Good day to you, would you mind to rate my essay, please. Thank you very much

Topic in details;

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas other prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.

It was a general practice of previous generation to work a job for whole life.However, this practice is no longer common in present day and most of the young adults prefer to change their job frequently.This essay will discuss both pros and cons of each practice.

Those employees who work a same job for lifetime generally have better job promotion prospect. Their extensive understanding of the company profile and management system enables competent and experienced job performance. Moreover, their job contribution and reputation among colleagues facilitate harmonious communication and relationship . In addition, this group of staff are generally deemed as highly committed and loyal to the company. A trustworthy lifelong relationship has been established between the staff and company.

Despite of its benefits, some negative effects affect the shift to frequent job changing. Their service to entirely sole company means limited exposure and experience in their position. It is also indicates these employees are obviously afraid of change and not possessing high adaptable skill to new environment. Another point is some employees may become too routine and bored with their job, which in turn leads to loss of motivation for better performance.

On the other hand, some employees who keep changing their job are able to gain a variety of experience and knowledge, which enhance their future employment prospect. Furthermore, by experiencing different job functions and responsibilities, young adults particularly those fresh graduates, are able to decide the desired or the most suitable career path in later adulthood. Also, the employees tend to develop a high adaptable skill to new environment and friendly sociable personality.

Likewise, this practice may results in some negative impacts too.Firstly, their short life-span service to a particular company may deemed as low commitment, unreliable with immature personality. Therefore, they may potentially be withheld from any job promotion. At the same time, their inadequate or inextensive experience in certain position is another drawback .

By and large, either one sole job for lifetime or frequent job changing is largely depend on the personal choice and their goal in career life.It is wise to plan ahead and set the goal for successful career life.

Undergraduate / Grandparents had spent great portion of their hard earned saving to buy house and car for their son [3]

Good evening, please help me to rate my essay. Thank you so much

Topic:

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples

Every country has its own unique and different custom. This custom has been practiced for generations and it is considered as part of the local culture. In my country, one of the traditional practice I would like other countries to adopt is to stay together and look after your own parents as they aged, instead of sending them to nursing home.

Parents are the most important people in our life.They spent almost their life time in upbringing the offspring and supporting the children's education until tertiary school. Some even sponsor the children to study abroad, no matter how expensive it will be. There are some parents who have gone even further by planning a better life for young generation. For instance, my grandparents had spent a great portion of their hard earned saving to buy house and car for their son, which is my uncle,hoping to reduce commitment and burden of his life. In return, my uncle and his wife are looking after them as they aged.

In addition, I grew up in a culture which emphasis on family value. I respect my parents as wise and experienced seniors who able to inspire younger generation, despite of aging and health problems. Moreover, parents provide unconditional love, support and some even forgo their careers in nurturing their children. It is particularly obvious in single parent family. What all parents hope in return is the same loving and caring treatment in their elderly life.It will be heartbreaking to parents knowing that they will be sent to nursing home, looking after by strangers and being away from all beloved grandchildren.

In summary, we should appreciate the time spent together with our parents and provide the unconditional care to them, especially when the time they become older and need our accompany the most.

Writing Feedback / Computers have made life becomes easier or difficult? Discuss [2]

Good evening, Please help me to assess my essay. thank you so much.

Topic in details;

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made the life more complex and stressful.What is your opinion? use specific reasons and examples to support you own.

The computer is a revolutionary discovery in the twentieth century which has definitely changed the way people live. It improves lifestyles by making it more convenient and comfortable. Other people think the computer has made life more complicated and stressful, but in my opinion the computer has literally caused the changes of these two different life styles, depending on the person using it.

The young generation would consider computer to be a gift rather than a difficulty. The computer is a relatively new technology. Young people have been learning to use it from an early age. Therefore, they are familiar with the technology and prone to incorporate it into every aspect of life. Study can be conducted at home via Internet rather than traveling to school. Students can search for information online and obtain the results within few seconds. Work has become so much easier to manage by using computer for storing, processing and analysing. Furthermore, there will always be a backup file as a reserve option. Also, people no longer have to queue and fight for shopping at a shopping complex when their shopping can be done online. All hassles are avoided and much more time is left for personal pleasure with the optimized use of computer.

On the other hand, the older generation may suffer from the ubiquitous existence of the computer. This group of people is less familiar with it and find it unhelpful and time-wasting. They feel extremely stressed and helpless, particularly with regard to scenarios such as computer being hacked, infected with virus, jammed and so on. Furthermore, they may feel uncertain and insecure to do shopping or banking transaction online as the Internet is deemed as unsafe and facilitating the cheating business. All these scenarios incurred some negative impression on the usage of computer.

In summary, computer has become an indispensable technology and its achievement has overwhelmed people across the world. It is therefore important and inevitable that people must learn to use them optimally for the improvement of their lives.