Good evening, please help me to rate my essay. Thank you so much
Topic:
Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples
Every country has its own unique and different custom. This custom has been practiced for generations and it is considered as part of the local culture. In my country, one of the traditional practice I would like other countries to adopt is to stay together and look after your own parents as they aged, instead of sending them to nursing home.
Parents are the most important people in our life.They spent almost their life time in upbringing the offspring and supporting the children's education until tertiary school. Some even sponsor the children to study abroad, no matter how expensive it will be. There are some parents who have gone even further by planning a better life for young generation. For instance, my grandparents had spent a great portion of their hard earned saving to buy house and car for their son, which is my uncle,hoping to reduce commitment and burden of his life. In return, my uncle and his wife are looking after them as they aged.
In addition, I grew up in a culture which emphasis on family value. I respect my parents as wise and experienced seniors who able to inspire younger generation, despite of aging and health problems. Moreover, parents provide unconditional love, support and some even forgo their careers in nurturing their children. It is particularly obvious in single parent family. What all parents hope in return is the same loving and caring treatment in their elderly life.It will be heartbreaking to parents knowing that they will be sent to nursing home, looking after by strangers and being away from all beloved grandchildren.
In summary, we should appreciate the time spent together with our parents and provide the unconditional care to them, especially when the time they become older and need our accompany the most.
Good afternoon :)
I think this is a good response to the prompt. You are very organized, with a clean and definite introduction, body, and conclusion. Your content acknowledges and responds to the prompt very clearly. Make sure you are using spaces properly between your punctuation and your words; for instance, "...uncle,hoping to..." should be "...uncle, hoping to..."
Also, make sure your subjects and verbs agree, and they are in the same tense. For instance, "...are looking after them as they aged." should be "...are looking after them as they age."
"emphasis" should be "emphasize"
Make sure you are using proper linking and transitory words. For instance, "..who able to inspire..." should be "...who are able to inspire..."
Go back through your piece and look for other instances such as these; with a little polishing you'll be ready to submit in no time!
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
