Scholarship / A short bio to help fundraise for students to go abroad... [3]

Don't say hello.

As the first in my family determined to enroll in college and graduate with a profession, I am currently in my second year of college in the Liberal Arts program in search of an inspiring major that fits me.

Write out the college name in the first sentence, don't abbreviate without naming institution first- it is more formal.

International Studies (CCIS), and therefore

Undergraduate / 'a place to learn, live, and grow' - Application Supplement- Why rice short answer [5]

Yeah it may not be necessary, but IT IS Rice... I live in Houston btw!

Undergraduate / 'population/theatre scene/foods' -Why NYU? 'Les Miserables by Victor Hugo'-Intriguing [3]

I've seen other schools that offer to design your own major, liberal arts specifically. So be more specific in how no other program is like it if you intend to be in the program. Only use examples relevant to your intended major and such. Why is NYC Spanish program so great? They know it's great, your task is to explain how by your knowledge. What is a good school in your eyes? See the broadness? Be specific, have voice and passion and this will be excellent! I see no grammar problems; hopefully an expert double checks as I'm not perfect with grammar, but it looks great from my p.o.v. Maybe explain why New York is perfect for you - mention the internship opportunities, the networking, why city life interests you briefly. Maybe explain how you can take advantage of the 24 hour restaurants and coffee places to grab a coffee and have unlimited study time. :) Hope I helped.