Undergraduate / 'Being different and wanting more equality' - Personal common app [4]

I am doing the common application essays but doing essays is not my best ability. In this case I rewrote the essay twice and so far looks decent. I would love some feedback on this one. I dont mind if you are really harsh or if I have to rewrite it again. I am determined to write good essays.

The topic of my essay should be: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Being different and wanting more equality

I am surprised about how people can be so intolerant of other human beings. With this I refer to the LGBT group which I have been part of for a couple of years. Accepting myself took some effort, but in the end it lead me to think that intolerance doesn't make sense in the first place. Accepting oneself and not accepting others is essentially the use double standards. It makes the position senseless and leads to the suffering of others.

While growing up I became aware of the difficulties that minorities must face. Getting to terms to who I am was only part of the problem. The other, and more difficult, part means the acceptance of society. Coming from a society that underrepresents LGBT issues tells the difference really well. But making society an acknowledging and tolerating one requires a mental and cultural change.

In my society religion plays an important role in it; so much that change becomes difficult to accept. Ideas or behaviors that move away from the comfort zone get interpreted as bad. Or at least the religion dictates that. But not everything is lost. Times change, so do people and I hope this happens to my society as well. Traditions must adapt according to the new ways in which societies develop.

For this change to take place we require knowledge. The deepest problem for intolerance stems from the lack of information. The people need to know. Misconceptions become the enemy of being different. That is the reason for certain groups forming around the world. During my time living in Mexico I tried joining one of those groups but there wasn't one close to me or enough people willing to create one. I want to inform people and I won't give up trying to achieve that. Nonetheless the great truth remains that all those differences are superficial.

In the end I am no different from anyone else who has dreams, problems, necessities and wishes. Like everyone else my desire is to have a happy and fulfilling life. The good news about all of this is that there exist people who support and love me no matter what. Those people are family and friends.

I am trying to discuss, focus close to home, not lecturing, showing the importance to me and show that I am a good choice for college.

P.S I hope I wrote a good subject.

Undergraduate / 'Artificial intelligence' - Standford - Experience important to my development [4]

I am doing the Stanford supplement and I am getting kinda paranoid about it. If I have to rewrite this short essay I will but I need some feedback to do it. Any commentary is deeply appreciated.

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

Artificial intelligence

Artificial intelligence is the idea that has captivated my imagination. A being made by humans who can learn, understand and be self-conscious about his existence goes beyond anything created by humanity so far. It will represent new era for humanity in many different areas of knowledge. Psychology, computer science, ethics, robotics and sociology would be some of the affected by such advance. But this only leads to the question of how we could create such being.

People have been studying intelligence for a long time and only recently we have dedicated some effort to trying to recreate intelligence. We have created some good algorithms for learning from genetic programming to neural networks. What intrigues me the most is if we will use one of those algorithms, whether alone or in a hybrid form, to create a sentient being or if a new way to treat intelligence and try to model it must be created.

Knowledge at this point is equivalent to the time before the first powered human flight. But to reach that precise moment humans must first understand the aerodynamics of intelligence. This isn't an easy task at all. But because of that the reward will be much more exciting. In the end this road could lead humanity to a completely new science. Still, this new developments are going to be debated for all which they imply.

From an ethics standpoint what should be done when we create the first artificial intelligence. Whether or not he should be treated as a living being or if he should have rights will be open to debate. The definition of life itself would change and new grounds for ethics would be created ready to be explored. In the end this only shows how far as specie we have arrived that we want to create intelligence.

Just a final question. I want some feedback on the other short essays for the supplement. Should I create another thread or should I post them here. I am new to this site.

Undergraduate / 'waiting to meet you and have fun' - Standford supplement - Letter to future roomate [4]

I would like some feedback on this part of the supplement I don't mind some harsh critics. I have another supplement that I rewrote and needs some feedback too. I know help deserves help so I give my feedback whenever possible.

So the instructions goes like this.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Hello future buddy

Currently you do not know me or even know about my existence. That will change really quickly and we will become good friends. There will be so much to learn about each other that I am excited already. Probably we won't agree on everything but that is fine. It will lead to awesome discussions. But to make knowing me a little bit easier I will tell you about your future roommate.

My name is Gianfranco and I have lots of nicknames, Gini, Jimmy, Gio, MacGyver's Swiss army knife and the messiah, among others. You can use one of those or come up with a completely new name. I came to the realization that the name is unimportant and it doesn't change who I am. You will see that I am a different person in many senses and my name is only one of those.

I love doing lots of different activities. I like drawing and coloring my drawings, playing the violin (I am still learning so please have some patience with me), doing origami, programming and solving puzzles of any kind. I prefer being varied in my abilities rather than excelling in only one. So when I find something new and interesting I will try to learn it.

If there is something that I think you will enjoy and have a good laugh with are my dreams. Those are seriously some crazy ones but quite enjoyable. Underwater musicals, reasoning with ghosts and time travelling inside a bathroom are only little examples of what happens in my head while I sleep. But above all of those there is one trait that I am proud of. I am a good friend. When I become a real friend with someone it is forever. One that is incredibly loyal and can keep secrets. So I hope we become really good friends.

I don't want to make this letter too long. I am already waiting to meet you and have fun. Until then I send you a hug from the past.

Gianfranco

Undergraduate / 'the will to muster enough courage' - Experience that changed my values - Princeton [3]

I need some help with this essay. I am not sure if I am talking enough about myself and the experience or if I am talking too much about one. I don't mind harsh comments and if I have to rewrite the whole thing I can do that. Thank you in advance.

Option 3 - Using the following quotation from "The Moral Obligations of Living in a Democratic Society" as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world.

"Empathy is not simply a matter of trying to imagine what others are going through, but having the will to muster enough courage to do something about it. In a way, empathy is predicated upon hope."

- Cornel West, Class of 1943 University Professor in the Center for African American Studies, Princeton University

"No, you cannot go visit him." My Physical education teacher told me since I had a cold and I could make my friend sick. We were discussing just before class about what happened to a friend of mine, he had a nasty accident on his bike and was hospitalized. I really wanted to go visit him but the teachers reason seemed enough to stop me from trying and also the fact that I was about 10 years old to get there.

Juan, my friend had this peculiar accident that even today I can't understand how it came to be. He was riding his bike going to the supermarket on a slight slope, nothing to great. Then in a moment, in his words, the front wheel detached itself from the bike. The rest of what happened is blurry in his mind but the effects were not, many lost teeth and a fracture in his skull. He was going to survive but he would have scars.

He was (and is) my friend and I wanted to visit him; my desire for him to get better became silent. Juan lived close to my house and so his and my mom talked often. "Gianni will help him avoid getting behind the class" my mother said to Juan's mother. I wasn't expecting that phrase, for a moment I thought that wishing him well was enough. But my mother later told me that I should help him now the most in this time of need. This moment would be in retrospect the one that changed my way of thinking and helping others in the future. If I couldn't go see him at least I would help him with school.

By this time I was quite good at school although I had a really annoying problem. My handwriting was barely legible at best. Since little I was taught to write in cursive, even my teachers called my handwriting Sanskrit. I couldn't give my friend photocopies of that, it would be like having nothing so I decided to improve my handwriting as much as possible. I can't say it was perfect but it was good enough to be read.

A couple of months later my friend was back in school, every wound were healed and he had artificial teeth. He was the same friend I had known and he was incredibly grateful to me. I felt incredibly well that I could make the difference to someone and help them pull through a hard time. This quote finally made sense. "Empathy is not simply a matter of trying to imagine what others are going through, but having the will to muster enough courage to do something about it. In a way, empathy is predicated upon hope." Or in other words, empathy is not only walking in someone else shoes, its helping that someone feel better while walking with their own.