Undergraduate / Stanford Essay - Am I Blind or What? [2]

Greetings fellow students! This is my first time posting an essay (after reading literally hundreds of posts by other users). Please feel free to critique my essay and give me some pointers! Thanks.

Topic: Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
As I peered over my thick glasses, blurs of colors danced before my naked eyes. I winced at my inability to identify their apparent shapes and forms. My eyes twitched with desperation to see the distinct objects rather than mere blobs of colors. Sadly, a pair of glasses has become my closest companion for the last six years. Unable to see more than a foot aware without my glasses, my impaired vision became more problematic especially when I am required to wear my glasses nearly twenty-four hours, seven days a week.

Upon hearing about laser eye surgery, I was thrilled and beyond excited about this miraculous medical procedure that would permanently resolve my obstructed vision. I became intrigued by the process of manipulating the shape of the eyes in laser surgeries. The delicate cuts and precise remodeling of the cornea to reflect light fascinated me. However, what interested me the most was the healing process of the eyes after the procedure. After extensive research about various refractive methods, my desire to undergo laser eye surgery grew along with my hunger to learn more about the after-math of the procedure.

My curiosity in laser surgery perspired into research at a local medical school. At The Medical College of XXX, I conducted research with a team of professors to study the mechanisms that contribute to the healing process of the cornea post-surgery or injury. My research project regarded how thrombin, a key clot promoter that is present in the cornea cells after wounding, would affect the growth factors that regulated the cornea cells during healing. I discovered that thrombin did stimulate the production of certain growth factors. This stimulation may or may not be beneficial to the healing process depending on the particular function of the growth factor because some growth factors may cause blood vessel production (a negative aspect), while others may fuel the production of cell rebuilding molecules (a positive aspect) .

My intellectual curiosity and thus involvement in research provided a scope to the literal eye-changing field of optics. This experience has significantly contributed to both my aspiration and decision to pursue research and engage myself in intellectually stimulating fields of studies.

Undergraduate / 'Your Shoes Can Take You Nowhere' - Personal Statement [2]

Here's one of my personal essay options. I would really appreciate the help and feedback. Thanks.

Your Shoes Can Take You Nowhere

Starring down at my dirt-encrusted sneakers, I maneuvered my way to my seat in the silent fifth grade classroom. As the first fourth-grader to take classes with the fifth grader, I was excited and a bit anxious; unfortunately, the fifth grade class was not too accepting of the idea. Since the day I entered the fifth grade classroom, I began to look at my educational pursuit in a more purposeful way that still has its effects on me today.

Walking into class one day, I heard the snickers, whispers, and even the giggles of several classmates. Thoughts raced through my fourth grader mind to determine or understand the source of their amusement until I realized that I was actually the subject of it. Questions raced through my head: Was it the yellow color of my skin, the uniform that I wore, or the worn out shoes on my feet? Perhaps it was that I appeared to be a teacher's pet because I wanted to learn and get good grades? Unfortunately, those were all the reasons why they were laughing at me. In fact, the other students frequently asked why I wore the same shoes every day, why I did not buy name-branded shoes, and why I was in their class. The answers were clear to me: I bought my shoes for a good price at a clearance sale, they were wearable, and I wanted to succeed. However, there were times when I wish those were not my answers and even envied the shoes that other people wore, like those hundred dollar pairs of Addidas and Nike shoes. Regardless of what I tried to convince myself, their words pricked my self-esteem, efforts, and experience like a splinter in one's sole.

Ironically, one particular day I was looking around the classroom and noticed a poster with a life-changing quote: "In 30 years, it will not matter what shoes you wore, what jeans you wore, or how popular you were; the only thing that will matter is whether you have an education and what you do with it." Applying those words of encouragement to my life, I rigorously pursued my studies and eventually skipped a grade level. Throughout my academic career, I have worked towards academic excellence, with the ultimate goal of attaining my doctoral degree in mathematics and science. With a changed mentality, I am no longer concerned about my appearance in a superficial way. Mere clothes and shoes can never represent an individual's ability to learn, achieve, and pursue her goals. With hard work, academic vision, and the passion for learning, my dirt-encrusted shoes - even though they are still not Addidas and Nike - did lead me to a path of opportunities and will continue to take me onto the road of academic and personal success.