Undergraduate / 'Mom, where are we going?' - Virginia Commonwealth page 87 [4]

Hi everyone, this is my first draft of the essay. I have no one near to check any errors, so I'm hoping if you all could help me.

Thanks for your time and I really appriciate it :)

Page 87 of my book is when I was 8 years old, the day I visited an art gallery for the first time of my life.
It is still fresh in my memory. The day my mom drove down the street, with a nervous face.
"Mom, where are we going?' I asked curiously.
She answered with a smile on her face. As soon as I got out of the car, I faced a tall building that looked like it was about to collapse. I started walking into a red bricked wall, where an unwelcoming atmosphere greeted me. Everything seemed unfamiliar and I tried to calm myself down. Despite the fear, however, I told myself to be strong and dared to explore the exhibition. As I bravely marched deeper into the building, I found a crowd surrounding a humongous painting. I have never seen such a big painting with so many detailed brush strokes. It was an abstract painting of which I have never seen before and could not understand. But everyone else in the crowd was amazed. I did not get it. Why are people so amazed by it? It seems like a big picture of a dark, scary, and collection of objects that I did not know. I couldn't describe the picture with my knowledge of words at the time. Neither of the other paintings scared me nor impacted me like this one did. However, I could not erase the painting out of my mind throughout the tour of the exhibition, and it lingered in my mind even when I returned home. I had a strong feeling that I will be fond of this painting in the future. When I got in to my room, the excitement and joy came around. I picked up my crayons and started coloring my "Tom and Jerry" coloring book. Even though it was only a coloring book for age seven to ten, it felt like I was the one who painted that painting that I saw earlier at the art gallery. Coloring with passion with multiple colors, I finished the whole coloring book and fell asleep on the floor. I had the sweetest dream ever, of becoming an artist when I am an adult, with an exhibition of my own.

Thanks again!!!

Undergraduate / 'my success regardless of how long it takes' - Why CMU and particular major? [3]

Hi everyone, this is my CMU essay,, and I have no one to edit mine, and I want to get some feedbacks :)!
Thank you SO much in advance :))

Prompt:Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay

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Here I sit in front of my laptop, with an opened calculus textbook on my left and a half painted artwork on my right. These two subjects- Art and Calculus are my hardest classes but which I enjoy the most. Since my mind is bouncing back and forth, I decided push them back and write my essay on Carnegie Mellon University.

The reason Carnegie Mellon University is my top choice of all the schools is because it offers a major of Bachelor of Science and Arts, which allows me to participate in both subjects. Although I am a high school student, I am hoping to gain immense amount of knowledge of both art and science/math at the same time throughout BSA degree program. I believe that learning from a unique experience is more important than learning it from a text; therefore, I am willing to take a chance and learn. I am also interested in studying abroad program that CMU offers, because I'm hoping to study different cultures that will allow me a better understanding of what I am expected to learn and how I am expected to behave at such circumstances. Because CMU offers a great number of programs, I am dedicated to take the advantage of them, learn, and make them my own. I know that CMU is full of students who try their best at what they are given, whom I can learn from and compete with to challenge myself. I hope to be part of CMU, share my views with other students who are walking on the same road as I am.

It's unusual how I enjoy both math/science and art even though they don't seem to go together. Even though my parents wanted me to take the easy route, I took hard math classes because I was curious how well I could do in difficult classes. Most were challenging, and I tried hard to do my best. Some of my friends said, "You're Asian. You're just good at math." but no, I did well because I tried. Many of my acquaintances says "Math and art don't go together! You should chose the one you like better.", but I think not. I crave for both, and one is as important as the other. It may seem greedy, but I can have both because I have strong passion for them.

I'm not an artist like Leonardo Da Vinci; I'm not a genius like Edison either. However, Edison's famous quote, "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.", is meaningful and hopeful to me. Although I am not as talented as others are, I hope the result of the hard works is successful. Since computers are becoming very banal, I want to have a career that deals with computer by employing both my analytical and creative skill at the same time.

It was hard to find any University that offer a major with both Art and Science until I heard about Carnegie Mellon University. I am glad and have no regrets for applying to CMU that allows me to pursue my dream of studying both Art and Science through BSA. I want to show that there are no limits to what I can do through my hard works and my infinite potentials that lie ahead. From the educations and experiences I gained from CMU, I hope they put me on the right track to my success regardless of how long it would take.

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and one quick question. that immense amount << italicized) should that be immense amount ? or immense?
Thank you SOOO much :)))