Undergraduate / 'Public Speaking' - MIT busy life / Activity for pleasure [3]

I have to write an essay for MIT on the following prompt: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer). The essay is due by January 1st.

Any Feedback would be GREATLY appreciated, as well as possible ways to shorten down the essay to fit the word count!!

Thanks!!

Public Speaking is an activity that I pursue, not because I have to, but because I want to. Whether it's at church saying prayers or on the basketball court motivating our team to stay in the game, public speaking is an activity that I do for the pleasure of it. Rather than sleeping in during the weekend, I am up bright and early to research and practice for speech and debate competitions. Finding time to write and memorize a 13 minute persuasive speech and research both sides of a political topic is difficult to obtain, especially with a Full IB schedule. However, sacrificing activities, such as sleeping in on Saturday morning's, is an activity I'm willing to give up to pursue my passion for Public Speaking.

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Undergraduate / 'Engineering and Islamic Architecture' - MIT Application [2]

I was wondering if I could recieve some feedback, harsh is fine, on the following prompt: Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer) The deadline is January 2st to submit.

All feedback is greatly appreciated!!!!!!!

Thanks

Two programs that fit my learning style and passions would be Engineering and Islamic Architecture. Being a science and math lover, hands on learner and a collaborative worker, the engineering program fulfills my passions and learning style.

Another program that appeals to me is the Islamic Architecture Program. Since I visited my first Jamat Khane at the age of 7, I have been mesmerized by Islamic Architecture. During my travels, I visit a vast amount of Islamic Designed Buildings such as the Islamic Centre's in Dubai, London, Vancouver and Portugal. My passion for Islamic Architecture expands beyond my travels. In fact, last year, I painted a mural of the Fatimid Empire which allowed me to learn a plethora about Islamic Architecture.

Being a part of either of these programs would allow me to grow in my passions and expand my knowledge.

Undergraduate / 'I volunteered one afternoon' - MIT ESSAY [2]

HARSH feedback and any feedback is totally fine!!!!

Prompt: Question 5: Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

I volunteered one afternoon a week with a seven year old boy named Josh, helping him with his water therapy sessions. Josh is blind and mute with limited mental and physical capacities. I had expected that I would only have to be in the water with Josh, and the rest would be taken care of by the staff of the school. Instead, my responsibility included taking Josh to the changing room, helping him to get dressed, taking him into the water and helping him get onto the bus. None of my many previous experiences working with children had prepared me for this experience.

Key challenges included building trust and making Josh feel comfortable with me. In the beginning, half the time was spent trying to get Josh to be comfortable so the therapy could start. This was a lesson in patience for me. This volunteer experience was difficult but I didn't give up. I learned that Josh liked apple juice and he loved to be tickled and to laugh. I treated him to apple juice after the session and tickled him while we were in the pool. I worked hard at breaking the barrier between Josh and me and to gain his trust. Sometimes, anxiety flare-ups occurred sometimes and he would scream and sometimes hit himself on his head. I learnt that when difficult situations arise, it is important to remain patient and committed.

Recently, I met Josh in an event where I was volunteering. I went to meet him and he immediately cheered up recognizing my voice. That evening he was under my supervision. The connection between us was there and I was very pleased that he felt it, too.

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