Undergraduate / I missed my train - Caltech ethical dilemma essay [6]

So I'm really new to this forum, but from what I've seen it's a great place. I am hoping someone (or preferably - some people!) would be willing to look over my short response. Any feed back is appreciated - negative feedback is preferred!

Prompt: Members of the Caltech community live, learn, and work within an Honor System with one simple guideline, 'No member shall take unfair advantage of any other member of the Caltech community.' While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty, and integrity are sometimes challenging. Share an ethical dilemma that challenged you. How did you respond? Your response is not limited to academic situations.

Nearly jogging as I traversed New York Penn Station, I glanced at the clock - "1:12." I sighed in relief; I had not missed the 1:14 train. Slowing down, I noticed a few homeless men near the stairs. Walking by, one of them suddenly cursed. I looked down, and saw him prod the other man, who appeared to be asleep. The first man did not seem anxious, and I, not wanting to miss the train and wait an hour for the next one, ignored them.

Boarding the train, though, my indifference morphed into fear, worst case scenarios flashing through my mind. "Is he conscious? Is he breathing?" I was stunned by my actions; "Am I so selfish that I would ignore someone possibly unconscious only so I could get home an hour earlier?" Especially since I knew CPR and could help him, I could not forgive myself.

I rushed off the train, flying up the stairs. Relief flooded through me as I saw that the unconscious man was breathing and being examined by a security guard. The situation was bad; that man, [name], had suffered a seizure and was unconscious, but luckily was breathing and had a pulse. After five long minutes, the EMT's arrived. By now the train had already left, yet I felt fine, even happy, having made an insignificantly small sacrifice to try to aid [name] instead of ignoring his plight.

I'm running into the issue of trying to convey how I felt while also communicating the passage of time in a mere 1300 characters. Any suggestions on what I should cut (if needed)?

Undergraduate / My name is Jason - Common App Essay [9]

Any feedback would be appreciated. To be honest, I don't really like it but don't really know how to improve it. Please tear it apart.

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

My name was Zhe Qin (pronounced like "joo-uh" - "chin"). It was the name I grew up with, and for much of my life, the name I shared with society.

At age three, I moved to the United States. Interacting with this new world, I became confused when those around me could not properly pronounce "Zhe." Overwhelmed by mispronunciation after mispronunciation, I grew self-conscious about my name. Luckily, my unease eventually disappeared. My name, I realized, conferred upon me a feeling of uniqueness. I had drawn my name into my identity and needed not worry about those who could not pronounce it - I knew I was Zhe.

Last year, my parents suggested legally changing my name to Jason. For a few years I had used "Jason" as a nickname, for the convenience of friends and teachers who enjoyed a more pronounceable name. Although comfortable as Zhe, I understood that others would prefer to know me by Jason in the future. Yet, as the court date for my name change hearing approached, I began having second thoughts. I worried that I should start identifying myself as "Jason" to everyone, including myself. My sense of identity, of which my name was an integral part, became blurred.

Hours dragged into days, days into weeks. Nagging anxiety consumed me; my mind raced and my heart pounded as I pondered who I was. Lost and confused, I was trapped in an intricate maze, each well-worn path leading to dead ends, to only simple memories or attributes I tied to my name; none led to the exit, to the answer to the question "Am I Zhe?"

When I heard "Zhe," I was reminded of my identity and my past. I thought of my best qualities: cheerfulness, dedication. I recalled memories and emotions, for instance my feeling of belonging when friends or family pronounced my name correctly - something as simple as "Hey, Zhe!" - telling me I was with people who cared about me. Now, I wondered, "If I am no longer Zhe, who am I?" I was paralyzed by fear and apprehension that I would lose myself and all I had become.

Gradually, however, as I struggled through my identity crisis and endeavored to complete my maze, I began seeing myself anew. I had associated each dead end, each aspect of my identity, to my distinctive name, but realized that those features also exist independent of the single word "Zhe." I still have the same memories, ideals, friends, and interests. With this in mind, I finally, and readily, became Jason.

I remain the same individual I was before. Now, though, having persevered through my maze, I understand that an identity is multifaceted, that my name alone, while important, is not essential in determining who I am. Most importantly, as I finally left this arduous labyrinth, I found at the exit myself, Jason Zhe Qin, the coalescence of a lifetime of memories and values. Although I am no longer the child named Zhe, we are still the same person.