Writing Feedback / 'I am easy to communicate' - University Of XXX - essay [4]

University Of XXX'as one of the alumni said, put much emphasis on students' self-development. As a young person of individuality, I dream to follow a degree program in this prestigious university.

I am easy to communicate with and ready to bring about new ideas. For example, in the Fight Hunger, a charity walk organized by World Food Organization, I suggested adding a donation program in the walk and leading the program by cooperation with others. In the end, we submitted all the donated money to World Food Organization.

I have many hobbies, among which I think French horn is a unique one. As the representative of Chinese symphony orchestra and chairman of brass band department, I once participated in the International High School Student Symphony. Our performance was highly acclaimed by the organizer. In my spare time, I organized several wind quartet performances with my schoolmates, and donated all the money to the school Red Cross.

As a member of Red Cross of China, I participated in numerous charity activities, such as cleaning the streets, visiting old people in nursing home, children in orphanage and people in underdeveloped areas.

University Of XXX enjoys worldwide fame and boasts large number of international students, so I will exert myself to enrich their extra-curricular activities.

Letters / I am pleased to recommend Mr. Chang : reference letter [3]

Dear Sir or Madam,
As the director of IB department in Beijing Huijia Private School, I am pleased to recommend Mr. Chang He, a student enrolled in 2006. He is an academically excellent and integral boy and strong in organizing and leadership. Therefore, he is one of the students I am most proud of.

Mr. Chang He played an important role in class and school activities. When he entered into IB department, he had hard time getting used to studies and life here, but after quick self-adaptation, he soon became an active member of the class. He joined Loving Heart Society and led other students to clean classroom and other public areas. Due to his responsibility and thoroughness, he was selected as the executive person and organized various charity activities such as donation to Sichuan quake-stricken areas and charity sales. All these activities are well echoed and his performance was also well acclaimed.

Mr. Chang is a warm-hearted, sympathetic and responsible boy. He visited Old Person's Home and orphanage in LangFang, Hebei Province. There he helped the elder wash clothes and chatted with them. He also joined the trip to Guizhou, an underdeveloped province in Southeast China. Witnessing the misery of local students, he made a lofty decision to build a library for them. He told me he wanted to become a philanthropist and help more people.

As a diligent and motivated boy, he won the trust from teachers and students. For the past two years, whenever he was responsible for club activities or others of bigger scales, he carried out his duty faithfully. He also purchased printers and took the maintenance job. In addition, he was awarded several prized in dormitory show.

In all, I am pleased to recommend such a diligent and loving student to you. Therefore, I sincerely hope you can offer him an opportunity for further studies and I am sure he can make valuable contributions to your university and the whole society.

Letters / "independent thinking" ; Reference letter (teaching experience) [2]

Dear Sir or Madam,

As a teacher with 27 years' teaching experience, I have been working in Xiamen Foreign Language School for 10 years. Our school enrolls top students every year and Xu Xiaoyan is one of them. I have been teaching her math from grade one.

I did not know much about her until she caught my attention by her attentive listening, active thinking and prompt response. During every class, she follows what I said and reacts actively. She also tries to come up with various solutions for the same question. As I remember, in one practice session, she successfully applied triangle and plan geometry and arrived at a multi-dimensional solution, which I gave the top score.

She has an and manages to solve all problems by herself. Whenever she comes across difficulties, she refers to books and other materials or discusses with peers, rather than ask the teacher for help. For example, one time when she saw a photo of a hotel lobby, she found the tiles of mixed-colors, which form a cubic effect. So she made a computer program and produced a picture of the same effect. What is more, she changed some colors and formed a different cubic effect. Such is Xu Xiaoyan, curious about life and sensible in thinking. Whenever I read her homework, I find the feeling of reading literature.

In short, Xu Xiaoyan is such a talented and potential student with sincere learning attitude, creative thinking pattern and high efficiency. Therefore, I sincerely recommend her and hope she can prove herself a great asset to your university.

Ma Hui

December 3, 2008

Undergraduate / 'IB News Station and Newspaper Club' - Personal or Academic Interests [4]

When I was in grade five in elementary school, my teacher of Chinese read to us a composition she considered excellent. It was written by me. From then on, whenever I am going to write, I feel excited; whenever I come across campus magazines, newspapers in grandpa's pocket or magazines in mother's drawers, I just cannot help reading them with great delight.

When I was in junior high school, I gradually found my interest. TV commercials, broadcast program or advertising on road sides all fascinated me greatly. Whenever I saw vivid news report, I said to myself, "This is my future career."

At a family gathering, I met an aunt who works for Beijing Youth (whose circulation ranks top in China). I asked her how to write a good news report and how to produce a popular newspaper. She answered, "The specialized knowledge is quite important. I majored in media and this laid a solid foundation for my career development."From then on, I confirmed my determination to pursue a degree in media studies.

My interest attracts my attention to various media news. After searching information from your website, I find your university is exactly where I am longing to study. As I find out, College of Media of your university is composed of Department of Advertising, Department of Journalism and Institute of Communication Studies. It also contains over 80 research centers and labs. The university boasts a beautiful campus, seasoned staff and excellent students. Faculty in the College of Media have earned numerous nominations and awards in both their professional and academic careers. Included among them are 21 Pulitzer Prize winners and 18 Nobel Prize winners. The faculty enjoy a high reputation among media circle and it surely is where I want to pursue my degree.

Currently, I am going to graduate from my senior high school, so it follows that I am eager to enter your university for further education. Meanwhile, with my rich experience gained from my work in IB News Station and Newspaper Club in my school, I can contribute to the diversity of your university with my various skills, strong abilities and intense passions.

Undergraduate / Describe an activity - an English newspaper Huijia Voice [2]

During my senior high school, in order to enrich campus life, I set up an English newspaper Huijia Voice. The process of setting it up is still fresh in my mind now.

The quality of contributions is the first problem we encountered. Though the content is quite fresh and vivid, the accuracy is far from satisfactory. So we set up a revision group to get rid of any grammatical mistakes and vocabulary misuse. In order to improve the quality, we asked for help from our English teacher, instructing us news writing skills. In addition, in order to stand out the features, we integrate the traditional layout with the lively campus photos and this achieved a great effect.

When the first issue of Huijia Voice reached students, I felt so relieved. Our efforts were finally rewarded with applause from teachers and students. However, another problem haunted me then. The short of fund made it hard to continue the paper. Some group members even suggested giving it up, but I didn't. We could not yield in face of difficulties. As the leader of the newspaper group, I had no reason to quit. After much consideration, I asked other clubs for help. They placed advertisement in our newspaper. In addition, I also sought help from my father, who helped me get some external support from enterprises.

As the saying goes, where there is will, there is way. Despite the difficulties in the process, I gain valuable experience: we have to persist when facing difficulties and to pull heads together so as to get through difficulties. I did it successfully in the past, so I am quite confident that I will make it again in my future studies, work and life.

Writing Feedback / Aunt Junko, essay feedback [3]

The days I spent in Japan from elementary school to junior high school left a deep and profound impression on me. Among all the people I met, a cleaner Aunt Junko impressed me most. Her responsible attitude toward his job is still exerting great influence on me now.

Aunt Junko worked as an ordinary cleaner responsible for the apartment building I lived in. She was about 50 years ago, slim and kind. Her job covers tidying up the refuse collection station as well as cleaning up the corridors in the apartment building. At that time, Japan began to implement the rubbish classification policy so as to protect the environment and conserve resources. However, some people neglect the new policy and throw rubbish into the wrong bins. Aunt Junko never complained whenever she saw this. Every early morning, when she arrived at the refuse station, she began to re-classify rubbish and pack them in order. When the garbage truck moved away sorted rubbish, she remained and rinsed the ground with water. She kept doing this silently and persistently for years. One morning, I threw garbage three inch off the bin when she came immediately, picking it up and packing it in order. I couldn't help asking, "The truck will come soon to collect all garbage and no one will visit here. Why do you have to put them in order?" She answered kindly, "To put them in order can help truck collect garbage more smoothly and efficiently. I never want to show this to anyone. When we do our job, we should consider every step in the whole process. If we do a little more so that others can be in a better situation to perform another, why not do it?" What she said threw light on me. From then on, I never litter rubbish, and participate in environment protection campaign in the school.

Aunt Junko and her idea of "sharing more duties" has clung to my mind since then. Though I now live in China and will go to U.S. for further education, her idea will definitely accompany my life and work. Sometimes, when I work with others, I try to think of doing more so that others can find work easier; when the teacher assign homework, I tell myself to complete it with all I can, no matter whether the teacher will review it or not.

"If we do a little more so that others can be in a better situation to perform another, why not do it?" Aunt Junko's words and her personality will motivate me in my studies, work and life for ever.