Poetry / 8 syllable poem (popular in Thai) [13]

I'm very new to this board, hope you all help improving and revising my poem,

This is called "8 syllable poem", a very popular in Thai. You can easily see the pattern of sound between the sentence. I tried to use this same pattern to write in English, however because of my English skill, which still lot of incorrect grammar, any advice would be appreciated.

This is actually not an assignment, frankly speaking is kind of hobby. I put here 5, and hope you all love it,

Poem 1

Love is like the sound of wind blowing
it's like when bird sings in the night
it brings happiness to life
made me try to be better man

To be worth enough on the sky
do not make you cry, let you down
I will take what it needs anyhow
stars shouldn't been on the ground, any day

Poem 2

On the sky very far away
some could say a word through space
regardless of distance and fate
the glance he once made, you're the one

Poem 3

The phase that I have to go through
the time that I do know will happen
but it's harder than before then
where is all strength that I had

It may gone with the wind in that day
that I pray for things I wish for
should I leave, walk along, no recall
and let everything all in the past

How long my faith will it lasts
many things pass, forget and go by
it doesn't matter how I try
I hope my mind stay the same

Poem 4

To the one I give very thought
to the one I could fought and die for
to the one I give everything all
to the one I call "My sun & stars"

the one that I want to be with
the one I could sit and watch eyes
everything is yours, all my mind
above on the sky in one day

Poem 5

I can be strong man protects you
I can say you're beautiful, makes you smile
hold you in the shade, let you shine
never... never cry, just hold me

Let me have a chance in your heart
be a part that makes you happy
don't know what the future will be
we will see, will face... forever long

Writing Feedback / Society should challenge what people in authority claim to be true [2]

Challenge people in authority are sometimes acceptable. When people in authority doing wrong things, it may leads to the loss of time and resources. It is necessary for individuals to determine the right of the given order. For instance, the event that related to large amount of people, should be carefully review by the performer, and may question against the wrong things. However in some culture, challenging the authority may lead to the conflict and even loss more time.

The authority's orders which are related to a lot of people should be review seriously before it had been done. It is need for the performer to think thoroughly before perform any actions. For instance, the great flood in Thailand last year, the authority claimed that the barriers are strong enough to protect the living area, however, just for a couple of days, the barriers was collapsed and caused a lot of damages.

In some lines of command such as military, it's somewhat hard to challenge the authority, however, acts that against the moral such as raping and torturing are far more unacceptable. For some cultures, especially the eastern, challenging against the authority is the serious offense. The student, for instance, can't think against the teacher in class. It is; however, limit the ability and imagination of students.

Challenging the authority is quite a normal thing in the western culture, which can be a good thing to save time and resource. It's also encouraging the use of democracy. However, for some parts of the World, it's a serious problem to challenge against the authority. It is need for one to determine the construct of the society before perform any challenging, and yet with politeness and sincerity for the better mean of group or society.