Writing Feedback / "On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation [3]

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I am a novice in writing essays.I know it contains so many error.Please provide some tips and errors.
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The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In the above argument the arguer mentions some points to dampen the traffic accidens by moped which when implemented in his/her island will reflect same effect as seen by the neighbouring island.He gave many plausible solutions which will decrease the accidents.But in my view there are many flaws in his/her argument.

The Gazette compared the problem with the neighbouring island in order to curtail the accidents and provided various solutions which were adopted by the other island.I dont think this is the plausible reason for providing solution to the problem.First the Gazette should check that why these accidents are occuring in his/her island.He mentions population increase as the major problem but population cannot be the only factor by which accidents are increasing.It is possible that the law is not enforced much in the island and people of the town so drivng rash and furiously.

Also,he put a blame on the island's moped rental companies and suggest to resist the rental of mopeds to half.It didn't mentions that what percentage of the current population includes rental companies and what percentage have their own mopeds.If the rental companies are neglible as compared to the private mopeds than it will have no effect on decreasing the accidents.

In the next statement he mentioned the 50 percent reduction which was achieve by the neighbouring island.He must provide the population of the Seaville in order to bolster his/her point.If the population of Seaville is less than a little awareness will help to decrease the number of accidents.The relation between popuation and accidents are directly related to each other.More the population,more the accidents and less the population,less will be the accidents.

Additionaly,we can also assert that there are many other ostensible reasons due to which these practices will not help to cede the accidents.For example,age limit defined by the Balmer authorites is less as compared to the Seaville.Consequently,more youth and young have the right to drive mopeds resulting in more accidents.

In conclusion,in order to reduce the accidents the gazzete should also focus on other factors like re-enforcing the traffic rules and regulation ,installing more traffic lights for swift movement.

Writing Feedback / The Muscle Man Gym wants to increase women member enrollment [2]

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Please help to evaluate.

"The Muscle Man Gym wants to increase women member enrollment.The percentage of women who have monthly memberships is currently only 20%.In order to increase the number of women members , Muscle man Gym should buy more cardiovascular equipment , because women like to use cardio machines .They should also advertise with the pictures of body building women and should lower prices for women members .These methods will increase the numbers of women members ,and will increase profits. "

The Gym owner wants to increase women membership in his gym.In order to do this he gave reasons like introducing more equipments,lowering the price and advertising.Since these points seems plausible that it will increase the women membership but there are many things which he has not considered which will evantually effect his profit.

As the current membership of women is 20%.Looking at this trend he want to increase the women membership in his gym.But we are not clear with this 20% women.As it is expectedly that these women are the wifes of men members.For example,if there are 100 men are coming to gym and of these 20 are married and coming with their spouse than it is possible that women are coming to gym not to exercise but to accompany their partner.

Moreover,the gym owner claims that women likes cardio machines which will bent their choice towards gym.But there is a lot of difference in women and men attitude towards gym.Unlike of men,majority!

of women donot like to have gym.And also only buying cardio machines will not effect in increase in women membership.
As I mentioned above that the difference in attitude between men and women it is also unlikely that women usually in hackneyed life donot attact by the posters of body building women.Yes,this is true for cases like athletes who need to build their body structure in order to maintain and participate in competitions.

The gym owner in order to attract the women also planned to lower the prices of women membership.Although,this will surely attaract the women in his gym but it is not sure or certain that how much number will be enroll for the gym.Reducing the price rather will loss in his revenue.First,there will be initial cost for buying equipments and second he also has to reduce the price of the currently enrolled members.This cost will be incurred by him and if the result is not the same as thought by him then he might be in huge loss.

Rather than focussing on women membership,he should try to concoct some new step which will help in increasing the men membership.Like introducing more machines which are liked by men.Also,provide membership plans for a year or six months duration at low prices which will attract more men to enroll for 6 month or a year plan rather 1 month plan.If he wants to introduce women membership,then rather investing on various machine,he should give a trial and offering 1 month free membership for women and looking at this trend he should think further for introducing women membership.

In conclutions,the points mentioned by the gym owner are not much convincing.He should adopt some other stategies which I had mentioned above in order to attract more customers.

Writing Feedback / Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military. [2]

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Please evaluate

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Education is the base of any child.In order to stand independently in the society one has to be educated.Education helps in inculcate knowledge and etiquette in us.As the arguments says,I agree in both ways.Both teaching of morality and logical reasoning should be the part of education.These two terms are inter-related to each other.

Our society is full of rituals and moral values which need to be followed by each and every people of the society.These morals values and ethics are as important as other subjects which are taught in the schools.Eg. If we compare two child one is both intellectual sound and morally correct and on the other hand a child who is only intellectually sound,this huge contrast will make huge difference in their nature.The former child will be pristine and will respect elders where as the former is trenchant in his or her behavior.Although these behavior will not make much difference during their childhood but in the long run the later child will be left behind because of the absent of the moral value in it.

These moral values can be taught in the school.There can be various subjects added to the curriculum which teach the students how to behave with the elders,help them to learn etiquette and preclude them from doing cheating and embezzlement or theft.This behavior will eventually will be reflected in the society.These moral values can be instilled only during their childhood and they will remain with them during their lifelong.

Logical reasoning is generally used when we are talking about what we should taught students in terms of enhancing their intellectual.There are many subjects like history,geography,science,math etc. which provide them the requisite knowledge to move further in life.These subjects only impart knowledge to them.Although it is true that knowledge is the soul of education but what is the use of that knowledge if the student is not behaving properly in the class and disturbing the other students.

In conclusion,I would like to say that to make a society flourishing there is need to adapt both morality and logical reasoning in our education system.Moreover,apart from teachers parents can also play an important role in providing morality to his or her child.