Undergraduate / UT Undergraduate Admissions Essay- Topic B - "An Everlasting Scar" [9]

Hi :) So this is my first time posting on here and this is my Essay A (Topic A) for the University of Texas- Austin, Undergraduate Admission essay. The essay topic is as follows, "Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you." Please give me any feedback you think is necessary to help my essay. Thanks!

P.S. Essay length requirement is no more than 1 pg. & single spaced. My essay is one page and single spaced on Word Document.

An Everlasting Scar

3 a.m. on a Saturday and I haven't slept all night. My eyes are swollen, I have difficulty breathing and even my hair is drenched in my own sweat and tears from the lack of sleep and elevated levels of severe anxiety. This was a typical weekend night for me at the age of twelve until well into my sophomore year of high school, crying endlessly each night because I was engulfed in my own physical and emotional insecurity. However, one night my usual, emotional rampage was interrupted and everything changed as a certain individual confronted me with the most astonishing question I have ever heard in all my seventeen years of life and which was simply, "What is the purpose of your life if you're living it in favor of others?" The origin of these words were from no other than my own mother, who didn't dare to intervene in my personal problems ever before but had the ability to remarkably change my perspective on life and myself in just a matter of a simple question.

Diagnosed at the age of thirty-three with lichen planus, a chronic mucocutaneous disease that scars the skin with dark, itchy patches all along the body which is permanent and at times painful, my mother has suffered the worst phases of insecurity a human being can ever expect to experience. Spending the last twenty-two years with scarring across her face and body, enduring strange looks from strangers everyday and constantly applying crèmes and makeup in effort to conceal her blemishes, my mother has silently taught me the sense of appreciation and the importance of self-confidence. I never knew how much inner strength my mother possessed to continue her life doing the things she loved without a care of what others would say when her back was turned.

Shortly after asking me that question on that noteworthy night, my mother took me in both of her affectionate hands and led me to mirror where I saw the reflection of a miserable, young girl. My mother then urged me to look deep into the pupils of that miserable girl's eyes and ask her, "Why are you crying child? You cry when one should rejoice for God's merciful grace is showered upon you!" My mother from that moment on made me realize the carelessness of my past ways in wasting so much of my youth weeping about the spoils I selfishly yearend for. My mother made me grasp the concept that no matter how much I think I am suffering there will always be someone in this world who is suffering twice more than I am but has twice as much confidence that the better is yet to come. I finally realized how close to home this concept was, in the circumstances of my mother. I used my mother as a role model for hope, a woman who despite being infected with a permanent skin disease has overall the many obstacles to become a working woman, with two healthy children, a happy marriage and a satisfying lifestyle, yes she may be scarred behind the makeup, but what does that matter?

I took my mother's advice and wisdom with more earnest respect that any athlete could pay to his coach or any solider could pay to his lieutenant. I used her teachings and insights and applied it to every aspect of my life I didn't appreciate not once before. I began to thank God tremendously for everything He has given me rather than mourn for what He hasn't. I saw the light of my facial perfections and let it radiate from myself and cast darkness on my useless insecurities. I could walk through hallways and stores without feeling insecure or nonetheless even care if people were staring at me or what they thought of my appearance. I grew stronger and filled myself with more hope after witnessing how my mother effortlessly lives her life to her expectations regardless of what other people may think or say. My mother, a simple woman of character and humility, has left a mark in my soul and my way of life that will evermore be cherished. She has left a scar on my life that I will want to forever keep.

Undergraduate / "All Ye Faithful" - UT - Topic B [5]

Hello! This is my essay for University of Texas at Austin! Please review mine and I will be sure to review your essay as well! Thank you! :)

Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

All Ye Faithful

Faith, a strong devotion or belief in a god, gods or a system of ethic morals, this word has transformed and integrated itself into the lives of millions of people as the world has developed to this very day. Religion over the course of time has also evolved to include hundreds of different variations of belief systems all encompassing their own sets of principles, perceptions on the purpose of life and how one should live their life. One, in this day and age, would think that after all the social and global progression made in the lives of people across the world as the twenty-first century has become the 'era of diversity'. However, this is not the case for all people and all situations, as one knows today that religious war and persecution continues to plague every nation. Religious intolerance has made its mark on the world quite conspicuously and every sect of religious faith such as Christianity, Islam and even Atheism has worked its way into a tangle of religious intolerance, ignorance and violence amongst each other that has proved only to demoralize the progression of one of the most culturally influenced eras in history.

The issue of religious intolerance, on a personal level, has impacted me in ways that have reshaped my thinking on life as I have faced several circumstances of ignorance and prejudice due to my religious background and beliefs. Coming from an Indian, Catholic heritage many individuals in my past have judged me and questioned me on my faith considering I am a minority of a religion within my ethnic population and a minority in race when compared to the whole Christian population. The ignorance and the lack of cultural awareness by people had caused me to feel confused on why I was who I was. I begin to think of myself as abnormal considering I barely knew any other people who also shared my religious and cultural background. I began to believe that life and those who interact with in my life will hold standards for what's considered acceptable and every aspect of me will be judged accordingly. Religious intolerance negatively influenced me in the sense that it brought a feel of growing insecurity about myself and continued to make me feel more and more uncomfortable and confused on my religious practice, shattering the original, safe haven I found in embracing my religious and cultural background.

Religious intolerance, on a global scale, has afflicted the world to where the disregard of many individuals to recognize the religious preferences of another has resulted in leading ludicrous acts of discrimination and persecution against others. People have publicized their disdain and condemnation of other religions with some taking it to the streets and media to get their discriminatory claims heard. In July of 2012, some Muslim followers were seen protesting the participation of Jewish athletes in the 2012 Summer Olympics, protesting and rioting that "they don't deserve it". However, the intolerance doesn't just stop at persecution and hatred but extends to the utmost extreme in the form of direct aggression. An example of how real the situation of cruelty of religious intolerance is the recent mass shooting on August 5, 2012, against Sikhs in Wisconsin in which six people were killed and four injured because others did not accept their form of religious practice within their community. Religious maltreatment, violence and any public form of religious discrimination is not subject to only Sikhs and Jews but to Muslims, Christians, Hindus and followers of practically every other religion to where all play the role of both the victim and the culprit.

Religious intolerance affects people on different levels, both personal and global. Individuals may begin to feel unaccepted by their peers and their community over who they are as a person in their spiritual way of life. Nonetheless, the world population is guilty of continuing to fight and cause struggle amongst each other over the issue of something so beautiful and unique, the idea of religion and the human right to believe in any faith without restraint.