Undergraduate / The Grandma Effect, My potential essay for college applications [5]

Hi! This is a college essay I've been trying to write to use on my common application. I know it's very rough and it might not say enough about me as a person. Please read it and edit it and tell me how to make it better and overal what you think! Thanks :)

What I want to achieve in life is greatness and importance to the world I live in. This is what my grandmother achieved. I want to choose happiness in every situation, to create beauty and share it with the world. Grandma was so different then me, but we shared so much. She was strong as am I, she was brilliant, as I strive to be, and she spiritual yet worldly. There were sophistications about her that I believe to be some of the greatest qualities a woman can possess.

My grandma was my conscience. If she didn't think something was right, it wasn't. When Grandma passed away, she left her wisdom with family. Most every significant decision I make is based off of the morals she has taught me..

Grandma never had the opportunity to attend college. In spite of this, she was the smartest person I knew. Her strategic mindset and her determination have been instilled in me. She dominated Scrabble games, was usually victorious in Words With Friends and was an avid reader. However, she was not limited to her linguistics. When I struggled with a math concept, Grandma provided me clarity. She always connected what I learned in school to the real world. In fact, she was the one who finally helped me understand fractions while at our favorite restaurant

Grandma was special in that she always wanted to make everyone happy. She was selfless and always put her family, especially her grandchildren, ahead of herself. Her vanity was an exception to that rule. One morning during my sophomore year, I was extremely nauseous. When I called Grandma to pick me up from school, she told me I'd have to wait. She hadn't put on her makeup yet.

She really believed in me. Not in the sappy way that grandmother's do. She believed in me in the realistic sense. Grandma believed that I was truly capable of what I want to achieve in life. There were times when she told me what I was saying was impractical and foolish; I was grateful for that. Grandma was commonsensical and she instilled pragmatism in me. Grandma taught me that all of this is possible if I set my mind to it. When a person believes in someone else, the strength that person feels is boundless.

Despite her illness, I can still recall the enthusiasm Grandma put into our phone calls we had while she was in the hospital. I remember the last dinner we shared together, at that awful Mediterranean restaurant.

Grandma is still my conscience. She is my checkpoint in every aspect of my life when I am in need. Her morals are still valid, age is no exception to her rules.

Undergraduate / 'my grandmother' - The Power of Nature vs Nurture/Common App [5]

Tell me what you think! This is an essay I will submit for my common application. Any advice is definitely welcomed. Thank you :)!

My grandmother was forced to be a righty. Her parents thought that it was abnormal to be left-handed. I too am left-handed, but my parents never forced me to switch.

Through the years, I've wondered about the power of nature versus nurture. My younger brother and I have the same parents; we were raised together and grew up in the same home. We dealt with similar obstacles but reacted to them differently. The manner in which we coped with stressful situations, I believe, was determined by our nature.

I wonder if I would still be me if I grew up in an entirely different place. Growing up in Edgemont, I have been profoundly influenced by my peers. Many of my friends have been talking about their future careers since middle school. I initially enjoyed predicting my future and was excited to begin my work as a chef. This dream soon faded when I wanted to become an orthopedist. My scoliosis was the catalyst for that change. Now I dream about a career in marketing. I have become interested in branding and am excited to enter that world some day.

While many of my friends were forced into activities, I was the primary caretaker of my extracurricular schedule. My mom has always worked long hours, and my father has been battling multiple sclerosis since I was a toddler. As a result, I took control of my life at an early age. After hearing about an art class at a nearby village, I asked my parents for the tuition to enroll. I have extended my artistic perspective by creating my own clothes, morphing old clothing into new items. Taking greater ownership of my life has allowed me to develop into a more complete individual.

My parents tell me that I've always been resilient, even as a baby. Having new nannies never bothered me. This ability to take things in stride has allowed me to be a proactive person who doesn't dwell on the minutia.

I have evolved through the years. While my many of my classmates continue to obsess with their futures, I am focused on the present. I place people first and have used my drive to help build empowering clubs at my high school and synagogue. I have been an active member of my school's Gay-Straight Alliance since my freshman year and believe everyone should be treated with respect and dignity, doing my best to promote equality.

Like my grandmother, I strive to make the people in my life happy. However, unlike her, when I'm uncomfortable with a situation, I always speak up. Toward the end of her life, I noticed that she began using her left hand. While my grandmother was forced by the powers of nurture to become a righty, her instincts returned her to her natural state.

Through my grandmother, I've come to understand the incredible power of nature. I recognize my inherent strengths and am excited to explore them in the coming years.

Undergraduate / Common App/ I have always been a generous person [2]

Hi! This is a very rough draft and please feel free to give your harshest criticism. What do you think???

I was sitting at the dining room table with Grandpa, "look at me, I'm so bald, I have no hair!" he joked. Five year olds do not have the most evolved sense of sarcasm. "Be right back," I said. Minutes later I was back, holding a blond lock of hair in my hands, about 3 inches long. "Here I said," you can share mine. He laughed.

I have always done whatever I can to provide for others in need. I love to share and to be generous. To me, generosity is freely sharing what I can offer with others. It is my willingness to offer moral support and advice. It is sharing my lunch with a friend who forgot theirs at home.

I have structured my life in a way that makes generosity impetuous and fun. It is often difficult for me to avoid over-commitment in terms of my volunteer work! It is what I love doing. To me, knowing I have improved the life of another person gives me more pleasure than anything I could do for myself. I work weekly as a volunteer mentor in a class for developmentally challenged teens. I helped to teach the teens ultimately how to socialize. I have conversations with them and teach them about various social cues and how to guide a conversation. During my junior year I was an assistant teacher in a kindergarten class where I mentored for Matthew. Matthew was five at the time and sees only 5% out of one eye. I used my own nature to provide nurture for him in class. I was his midpoint between the teacher and the blackboard. My experience with these two situations has expanded my knowledge about cognitive disabilities, they have also taught me the various ways to help different types of people. Matthew taught me that in order to teach him the best way I could, I had to be the best, the enthusiasm he heard in my voice would set the tone for the way he would internalize what I taught him. The developmentally challenged teens looked up to me as a role model, they watched me interact with other people and based their social situations off of mine. The teens taught me that I am outgoing, but that does not mean everyone else is. My ability to provide knowledge for them and for them to help me understand how to better be of use to them is very rewarding.

These experiences have helped my skill set grow. I have learned different methods to help people in need and have come to understand when it is appropriate to help those people.

It was once said that every human has two opposing drives within himself. One is to behave generously and give of his time. The other is to behave selfishly. If generosity and its opposite fall on completely different sides of the morality spectrum, generosity is truly a virtue.

I am happier when I give of myself. I have always viewed generosity as almost a spiritual endeavor. It provides no tangible reward and no outward benefit yet it makes my soul stronger. Because it is the foundation to social justice work, generosity can mend gaps between different classes of people. I understand what it can feel like to be left out and so I try my best to promote equality.