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Posts by Ahndrahdee
Joined: Sep 27, 2012
Last Post: Jan 2, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 8
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Ahndrahdee   
Sep 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Questbridge Biography - factors and challenges that have shaped your personal life. [4]

Biographical essay
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? 800 words

I am Andrade Eliza Hendricks. Andrade's a Spanish surname that most people have difficulty pronouncing correctly. I'm a blend of cultures from across the globe, consisting of African American, Native American, Indian, Japanese, Scottish, Swedish, and English, but most people are content with labeling me as black. I see myself as a mermaid, or an Amazon. I'm six feet tall, so people assume I play basketball, with volleyball as a quick followup, but I love the water too much.

I was born in Oklahoma, but moved to San Diego to be closer to my father when I was nine. Things in California were vastly different from everything I had known. We now had to go to a laundry mat, walk home alone, sometimes cook, and I had my ridiculous growth spurt and grew to be as tall, if not taller than most of the teachers at school. I became angsty, upset and uncomfortable in my own body. I still lacked the kind of friendship I was used to, and was jealous of my sister for her ability to make friends so effortlessly. I was only truly happy at the beach, which was thankfully every weekend, and my father's house surrounded by his family and new baby. But one day he decided the best place for him and his three daughters to live and prosper would be North Carolina and would we come spend the summer there. The reason for our relocation had relocated to the other side of the country.

After that, my mother hurt her back and living in Chula Vista alone became too much for her to handle, physically, financially, and emotionally, so we packed up our life and drove to San Antonio to live with my mother's mother who's never particularly cared for any of us. She tried her best to ignore our presence and comforted herself with the notion that this was a temporary living situation. We all did. But my mother's back rendered her unfit to work, and I was so scared we were going to lose her. I was plagued by nightmares of who's care we would end up in.

For the first time in my life, there were two authority figures in the house and living there became a passive aggressive headache and a half. In an attempt to get us out of the house, away from the accusations and yelling, my mother took us to swim lessons, and that's what saved me from despondency. The prospect of high school swim team got me thinking about my future in earnest. I had always known I would be going to college, that it was a fixed part of my life, but taking swim lessons was the first time we actively invested in something that could add to that. Swimming was the first time we spent outside of school that would contribute to my future. Swimming was the first thing I had to genuinely work hard to succeed in.

I have stayed in swimming throughout high school. Even though I am definitely not the fastest and I don't particularly care for racing, I still enjoy being in the water. The Aquatics Administrator hired me to teach kids to swim when I was a freshman, gave me the opportunity to provide other children the clarity and purpose the pool gave to me. By that time my grandmother had undergone chemotherapy and retired. I was the only employed person in the house, but we never went without. We always had what we needed.

I have accepted the fact that I will probably never understand my father , or my grandmother. If he hadn't left California, I wouldn't have realized how independent I could be. If she hadn't been so cold and cruel, I wouldn't know how to forgive and carry on. My mother is the only adult that has respected me enough to explain her actions, even when I was a child. If she hadn't offered me her justification, or never listened to mine, I wouldn't be as understanding and rational as I am now.

The people in my life have helped produce the intuitive, college bound mermaid I am today whether they planned to or not, and I am grateful to all of them. I believe the turbulence I have experienced has made me a more sensible person, but I still have silly, partially-formed frontal lobe moments. I still don't know where I want to go or what I aim to do, because there are so many possibilities I have yet to explore. But I do know I want to actively contribute to society, and am more than willing to learn how.
Ahndrahdee   
Sep 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I see myself growing more mature as time goes by' QuestBridge Bio Essay [4]

I love your conclusion! I think it is flawless.
To trim down your essay you can eliminate some of your qualifier words.

"As a result I was very safe around my parents,"

"I was very young at the time , and so I tried quitting many , many times"

Getting rid of minor, unnecessary words and phrases should get it down to 800.

I Really love your ending.
Ahndrahdee   
Sep 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Butterfly metamorphosis, Biographical Questbridge college Essay [5]

I like your ending, though you use "understand" six times.
Also, when you are listing things like nouns, verbs, adjectives, and such, you have to put a comma before the and.
(My english class is on a grammar binge.)

Other than that your essay seems great to me.

To an admissions officer the metamorphosis metaphor might be repetitive though, so be wary.
Ahndrahdee   
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Being intelligent, excited, and eccentric' - Brown Engineering supplement [3]

1. Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to your interest in Engineering? (Feel free to elaborate on your response to question 2.)

2. What experiences beyond school work have broadened your interest?
3. Brown offers ABET accredited programs in Biomedical, Chemical and Biochemical, Computer, Electrical, Materials, and Mechanical Engineering. Engineering-Physics is offered as a non-ABET accredited degree. Aerospace, Environmental, and Structural Engineering can also be pursued within the six core ABET accredited disciplines. Since there is a common core curriculum within Engineering, students need not select a specific area until their junior year. We are curious to know, however, if any particular program within Engineering presently appeals to you. If so, please discuss that choice. (For more information: Brown Academics - Engineering)

Science has always interested me, from growing a bean stalk in a cup, to determining the perfect way to safely encase an egg on its two story descent. I relish being able to explain why things happen, things I never knew had a reason. I also love puzzles, and solving difficult problems. My friends come to me with their relationship issues, computer problems, and car troubles, because they know I won't stop thinking about it until I find a solution. Engineering will allow me to indulge my childlike wonder, satiate my curiosity, and enhance my problem solving skills. I can't wait until I am able to live and work in that constant state of fascination.

When I interviewed engineers for ISM, they never failed to be intelligent, excited, and eccentric. Engineers from every field were problem solvers just like me, and relentlessly encouraged me to pursue engineering. The contentment and satisfaction with which they talked about their job was intoxicating. It truly wasn't work to them, it was paid playtime. They have helped me realize that want to delve into the Biomedical Engineering, particularly the 3D organ printing. A machine like that would save my grandmother so much worry. I am currently on a search to find a willing Biomedical Engineer as my mentor to gain real world application experience. Together we will create a product that I will present to a group of interested people at the end of the year to better inform the public of exactly what a Biomedical Engineer does.

I am particularly excited about the Student Project Teams at the College of Engineering, because so much of science is dealt in collaboration while competing against other organizations. The Project Teams are an excellent chance to experience that aspect of engineering. I myself would try to join the Genetically Engineered Machines team and help them in the Jamboree competition, while exercising my understanding in biological systems.
Ahndrahdee   
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Being intelligent, excited, and eccentric' - Brown Engineering supplement [3]

katev
1. You are absolutely right, I'm making assumptions about my audience again.
2. I don't know if I should take that out or elaborate.
3. The team project is a program at Brown that I find appealing, but I can see what you mean. The "choice" of biomedical engineering, and not some team.

Thank You!
Ahndrahdee   
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / 'consumer's subconscious' - Psychology and Business; Cornell Supplement [2]

When I first decided to pursue/give in to my naturally curious tendencies, I was unable, as my high school no longer offered a psychology course. However, when I had the opportunity my senior year, I joined the Online School for Girls, which offered an AP Psychology course. I was thrown into a completely online world focusing on a completely new subject. As I grew acclimated to this new and challenging class style, I also grew to love Psychology. The vast wealth of knowledge that this online course has offered me leads me to want to push myself even further.

Though my school no longer offered psychology, I jumped at the opportunity to take AP Psychology from the Online School for Girls. that class opened a new realm of psychological understanding. After acclimating to the new style of learning, my passion for psychology grew; the new information arousing a deeper drive/thirst for knowledge.

thats all i got /:
Ahndrahdee   
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / Biomedical Engineering, Natural Course of Action After Diagnosis [3]

His genetic disease is extremely rare a mutation that is incurable. Although his cancer had not yet progressed very far, my family's remaining options were either costly or risky.

He had a rare and incurable mutation, making our options either costly or risky.
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