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Posts by gdiazdeleon
Joined: Nov 13, 2012
Last Post: Jan 1, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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gdiazdeleon   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / I have always felt a vocation towards business; NYU SUP/ Academic Interests [6]

NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

Business. I have always felt a vocation towards business. It has interested me both as a study and a lifestyle. I aspire to be the proud owner of a business one day - whether it is a global corporation or a small business. I also hope to create a NPO. I firmly believe that admission into the Stern School of Business is the first milestone in achieving my goals. Courses at NYU such as Leadership in Organizations, Cultures and Contexts, Game Theory, and Foundations of Entrepreneurship would drastically satisfy my eager search for knowledge and place me one step closer to achieving my dreams. I have been to 31 countries, and I believe that participation in the IBEX program would expand my cultural, social, and intellectual horizons beyond possibility . I seek a universal view to business and I know that NYU New York, centered at the core of the universe, the city where thousands of cultures clash, can help me achieve this.
gdiazdeleon   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / I love being stubborn; MIT/ Characteristic [4]

I think that if you add more descriptive or emphatic language, you can make this example work! It might not be "big" but it certainly shows a part of you. Good luck.

Please help me with mine!
gdiazdeleon   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Visual art and in business/ The cicada ; NYU App/ Program? What intrigues you? [8]

Very good! So much better than mine haha (i'm applying to NYU too).

On a global scale, the money we raised is used to purchase livestock, a sustainable source of income, that provides food and offspring to developing communities.

In this fast paced world that is driven by passion and innovation, I am prepared to take the next step on my journey at New York University

just some simple mistakes but overall very good!t

Please take some time to see mine! could use the help.
gdiazdeleon   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / I have always felt a vocation towards business; NYU SUP/ Academic Interests [6]

Really need help!!!!!!!! DEADLINE IS NEAR! these are the revisions and the second supplement as well> HELP PLEASE. THANK YOU

NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

Business. I have always felt a vocation towards business. It has interested me as a study, as a lifestyle, and as an art. It is a way to think, a way to live. Some people have it, some people don't. I do. I currently own a small entertainment business that has made more than 10,000 in profit with only 150 hours of hard work. That's about double the money per hour than what an entry-level businessman makes (according to Google).

I aspire to be the proud owner of a bigger business one day - whether it is a global corporation or simply a local company. Along with this, I hope to create a NPO in the spirit of giving back. Attending the Stern School of Business would be a milestone in achieving my goals. Courses at NYU such as Mandarin for Business Purposes, Leadership in Organizations, Cultures and Contexts, Game Theory, and Foundations of Entrepreneurship would quench my intellectual inquiry and place me one step closer to realizing my dreams. I have been to 31 countries and I speak close to three languages, and I believe that participation in the IBEX program would further expand my intellectual, social, and cultural horizons. I seek a universal view to business and I know that NYU New York, centered at the capital of the world, the city where thousands of cultures clash, can help me achieve this.

What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

The world is my interest. Since I was young I knew my mind pertained not to where I lived. It floated somewhere else; it belonged to different cultures. It rejected an intelligible cosmos of constricted views and provincial thoughts. It spoke in two languages yet processed only one-the world's. Intellectual complacency and cultural indifference were forever absent. It sought to understand every brilliant mind alive and discover every corner in the world as I slowly traced behind in awe. It sought to accept every culture, every way of life as I gnawed down the barriers hiding the beauty of different. It sought to comprehend every idea ever put forward as I flipped the pages of countless books. It saw the world. And now, I did too. The same world around me that I had been living in soon became a different one, a new one. I was obsessed.
gdiazdeleon   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Opens opportunities; NORTHWESTERN SUPP. - WHY NU? [2]

Now, I am more than ever ready to leave the warm beaches of Los Angeles and travel two thousand miles to a new home at Northwestern University.

Maybe you could say something like "Now, more than ever, I am ready..."

College, as I perceive it, must open up opportunities for the students to pursue their passion and goal

passions and goals ?

But most importantly, the fact that International Relations Program requires a disciplinary major yet enthralls me since pursuing Economics will definitely hone my skills in becoming an entrepreneur in the global market.

Sounds kinda weird maybe you could change it to something like "But most importantly, the fact that International Relations Program requires a disciplinary major enthralls me to...

Starting from the Dance Marathon and the Big Ten football game where the entire university participates and comes together to the small gatherings at the Global CafĂŠ where I will acquire an opportunity to share my thoughts on international issues with classmates, I will grow to truly appreciate the university.

My english teacher told me thats its safe to assume knowledge! (i think they might know such event, so you could maybe list more or add to how they fascinate you)

Overall I like it! Good luck!

Please help me with mine, i'd appreciate it alot :)
gdiazdeleon   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Prombles I see in Bussiness; NYU App [3]

Hey, I'm also applying to NYU for business and I like your essay but i don't really think it covers the prompt fully. Maybe you could add some programs, or classes, or just mention NYU quickly.

I like the ideas you portray in your writing, I can get the jists of them and of your vision but I think the way you describe them could be a little better. Like mysled i'm pretty tired so thats all i've got so far.

I'll log in tomorrow and add more corrections. Hope I helped and please, help me with mine!
gdiazdeleon   
Jan 1, 2013
Scholarship / UM Scholarship Essay; 'I used to have an on/off switch that I came to loathe' [NEW]

Please tell me what you think! Not a very good writer...Every question must be answered in 100-150 words (Some of mine are like 160). Will gladly see yours!

A. What life circumstances have you experienced that make cultural awareness important to you?

I used to have an on/off switch that I came to loathe. It sat at the back of my head dreading the next time I'd use it. Fear and anxiety gave it purpose; my insecurities made it useful. I was born in Mexico and raised by its culture. Normal to me was weird to others. My accent was too noticeable. The holidays I celebrated, like Dia de Los Muertos or Los Reyes Magos, were too "different". The clothes I'd buy in Mexico were "out of fashion" here. Whenever my parents invited someone over, or they came to my school with La Rosca de Reyes (a Mexican bread), or I brought something for show and tell, this switch would go on. I'd automatically try to be more American, more like everyone else. I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted for where I came from. Today, I realize that where I come from is part of who I am. I have no reason to be afraid even if others aren't aware of the beauty of different. This little switch, no longer exists.

B. What are your academic goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

For thirteen years I've lived ------------- away from the University of Miami. Every time I biked by the Cobb Fountain or ate at the Hecht-Stanford Dining Hall, I wondered what classes I would take, what major I would choose. I never thought, however, why I wanted to go to UM - it was already my favorite university. The only thing I thought about was, what I would do at UM. Now, several years later, I know exactly what I want to do. I want to major in Entrepreneurship at the Business School of Administration, I want to study French and Mandarin, I want to start my own club, I want to some day be recruited into the Iron Arrow Honor Society. I want to create a new way to do business. I don't care how many sleepless nights it takes, how many hours of studying it'll be, or how many sacrifices I will make. I will achieve what I want for I know that intelligence without motivation, boldness, and diligence is worthless.

C. How have you contributed to cultural diversity and how do you plan to continue that commitment at the university level?

My contribution to cultural diversity is distinct. I haven't done anything but be myself and follow three simple ideals. Peace comes from respect, unity comes from acceptance, and love comes from understanding. I've strived to never disrespect someone for his or her culture, likes, talents, disabilities, or faults. Despite color of skin, country of birth, neighborhood of residence, or religion of preference, I have accepted individuals instead of merely seeing them as my equal. I have come to understand - and love - others' cultures, activities, and passions. I have practiced Buddhism with a friend, eaten fried crickets at Homestead, played Samba from my iPod, and learned to count in Quechua. Not only have I embodied and represented my own culture but also experienced unknown cultures. I believe that acceptance, understanding, and respect towards other cultures is the best contribution to cultural diversity. I will continue to follow these three ideals and, in their spirit, create my own club at the University of Miami named P.U.L. (Peace, Unity, Love).
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