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Posts by behruz
Joined: Dec 10, 2012
Last Post: Mar 11, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: Kazakstan

Displayed posts: 8
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behruz   
Dec 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / Potential promblems that people face while Living Abroad; IELTS exam essays [8]

Hi guys... It is my first time in such forume can you help with my essay writing
Thanks a lot for your comments!

Setting into a new culture can be extremely different. Although some culture shock is inevitable, there are a number of ways to make living overseas much easier. Discuss what might be potential problems people might face in a different cultural setting and provide solutions for them.

Every year millions of people all over the world change their locations for several reasons. Some of them migrate to another countries, some visit their relatives and acquaintances and other just travel to see the world. Unfortunately most travelers inevitably have problems with adaptation and face with "culture shock". Although it takes a little time to get accustomed to new places and traditions, it can cause some problems and dissents.

Culture shock causes multiple problems both for guests and for hosts. One of the essential problems travelers face with is diversity of religions. For instance, most wide spread religions such as Christianity, Islam and Buddhism have different attitudes to animals and their meat. Christians have no objections to all kinds of animals' meat, while Muslims and Buddhists do. While pork is prohibited in Islam, most Buddhists eat no meat. The only solution is here, it seems, to be more tolerant and not take it serious.

Another concern is disturbance. Most Asian and Latin American people do not pay heed to this situation. They are accustomed to visiting and disturbing for any reason and at any time. Since Americans and Western Europeans are more serious and responsible for receiving guests. They allot special time and if one wants to visit them, he should call them beforehand. In order to evade some troubles and nuisance, travelers ,before traveling, should learn some information and tips about foreigners habits and customs, to watch guide shows or read guidelines.

In conclusion, travelers should be more tolerant and comprehend that every place has its own rules. During travelling respect and appreciate hosts' traditions and customs.
behruz   
Dec 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS - What is the best age for Children attending school? depends on the country [8]

Your sentences are not connected I suggest you connect them in a one sentence. For example:
Some people think children should not go to school until they are old enough. These people believe six or seven years old is the best age attending school.

It would be better if you link them.
behruz   
Dec 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / Managing money is one of the most important skill for everyone; IELTS [4]

Learning to manage money is one of the key aspects of adult life. How in your view can individual best learn to manage their money?

It is agreed that managing money is one of the most important skill for everyone, especially for adults. In fact, there are some approaches of teaching person how to manage money effectively. Courses related to basic understanding of money management and daily practices are the best way of learn how to distribute money efficaciously.

Firstly, the role of schools for educating one to use money efficiently is significant. For example, the classes regarding money management skills in high schools help individuals to understand the value of money and enable to get the essential managing ability. Unfortunately money management courses are too complicated for high school student's level and not every student can cope with classes.

Secondly, it is responsibility of parent to teach children how important to utilize money cautiously by giving them practicing. For instance, there are many people who can manage their money without getting any special courses. Indeed, parent had provided these people with essential knowledge about money management by daily practices. Thus everyday practices and experiences in a childhood given by parent's instructions can show to child the best way for money usage.

In conclusion, it is the fact that one of the most needed skills is money management, especially for adult life. The method of practicing and engaging in special lessons are the most efficient for learning money allocating ability.
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