Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - It's more about my personal philosophies than experiences. [3]

The overall essay has a focus towards my personal philosophy along with some experiences to back it.
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I my opinion, It is the duty of a human blessed with free will to labor mold his own soul. We are molded into existence by forces beyond our means but our existence after birth is completely dependent on our own actions. I have no intention of simply dying after a quietly lived life but rather intend to die after having devoted many years to aid to those in need and then be beckoned toward pearly gates. For this reason, I've have assigned to myself a few duties to perform until my death as both a means of to internal peace and eternal bliss. As a Christian, I will be faithful and humble. As a student, I will be curious and dedicated. As a human I will be caring and passionate. Only by completely such self assigned duties can I eventually die and say "life well live".

To like is defined as simply holding something in favor. But to love something, mere appreciation and liking is not enough. First, the liking must be fervent. Second, one must attempt to comprehend both the object of one's love and one's reasons for loving that object in the first place. Loving is therefore a inwards and outwards search. But to understand the love one has for an artist, one must understand his works. As a Christian, to love God, I cannot simply follow his teachings. I must also learn of his creations to truly appreciate everything.

Watching NOVA really sparked my love for science. I love science because it, in its broadest sense, involves looking both out to the stars and into the body. Looking outwards, we learned of the Big Bang and how the universe resulted from the point of singularity. Looking inwards, we learned that humans were intelligently guided to evolve into beings fit to survive and thrive. All this, I learned from NOVA before anywhere else. To be in the presence of a masterpiece as this universe can be humbling to any person. Even though I have much to learn, I know more than enough to know that there is so much more that begs to be discovered.

Evelyn Beatrice wrote of Voltaire the commonly misattributed (to Voltaire) phrase "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". this phrase also perfectly defines me in the regard of my views on diversity. As a student, I seek to challenge my mind not only by studying facts but also entertaining opinions. I enjoy reading the ideas of others and having spirited discussions with friends even if they challenge my own beliefs because the challenge will always be in my favor: My own believes will either be strengthened to withstand others or changed if what I read or hear of is better than my previous thought of a matter. Diversity is one of the greatest intellectual challenges. As such, it is very important to be tolerant of others as a learning experience.

I hold community service in very high regard. As a Christian, it's important for me to help others and to show compassion. As a human, I feel a drive to help fellow humans. In all my years of community service, my favorites activities were helping with New York Blood Center blood drives and cooking for families at the Ronald McDonald House with my Key Club. Especially in the latter activity, i feel most rewarded when the worried families of hospitalized patients can be treated to meals made by people who care and can make conversation to help alleviate stress and some worries.

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Any tips on how to conclude the essay? I've never been able to get any good conclusions here or in school essays. Even if the rest of the essay turns out fie, the conclusion is always weak.

Undergraduate / Key to lion's den or to blessings; Common App - Topic Of My Choice [6]

My essay is currently too long by 18 words so I need to shorten it while making a better conclusion. Please critique the structure, grammar, and punctuation but not the topic.

Our labors create not the mold of our own souls but the mold of a key. It is that key that determines whether we open the door to the lion's den or the door to blessings. We are given free will and so we choose which doors we open. This the life of a Christian, a student, and a human. This is the life I choose to live.

I find it insufficient to claim to love anything without attempting to understand that love. "I believe in [and love God] as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." (C.S. Lewis) The art aficionado would not dare claim to love an artist without attempting to understand his or her pieces. Likewise, for me to love God without understanding his works is a self-deceiving form of love. This desire to understand has beckoned me to study the ever-expanding field science which I have, never for a moment, found incompatible with my faith.

Watching NOVA has satisfied and developed my love for science. Looking outwards, we learned of the Big Bang and how the universe resulted from the point of singularity. Looking inwards, we learned that humans evolved into beings fit for survival (I am a theistic evolutionist.) This knowledge has humbled me both as a Christian and as a student. so even though I have much to learn, I know more than enough to know that there is so much more that begs to be discovered.

As a student, I also seek to challenge and improve my mind. I enjoy reading the ideas of others and having spirited discussions with friends even if they challenge my own beliefs. Learning of many ideas has the benefit of either strengthening my own beliefs or opening eyes to new things. This spirit of open-mindedness as well as my spirit of inquiry as a student has led me to have a strong interest in the liberal arts. That interest has led me to take A.P. classes such as English Literature, Psychology, Physics, Calculus, and US History.

I also enjoy community service not just out of Christian ideals but because I am of an inherent desire to help anyone who needs help. If I have enough time to spare playing games, reading books, or cycling, then surely, I have enough time to devote to the aid of others. Of all of my community service events, my favorites are the ones where my Key Club and I cook for the families of hospital patients at the Ronald McDonald House. I find a great deal of satisfaction in helping provide a home-cooked meals to those away from home due to a relative's illness.

While Americans are debating healthcare reform, there are many overseas that can't even get to a doctor. Someday, I hope to help people those people as a doctor. For me, that being a doctor would be the best way to use my abilities to the fullest. I hope to one day go overseas a doctor to those impoverished people.

Undergraduate / My dad met with an accidents; Cornell/ Related experiences influenced my major [2]

Prompt: How have your interests and related experiences influenced the major you have selected in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences?

When I was born, I could have lost my mom and dad. The doctors said my mom would not be able to survive giving birth to me on account of her weak heart. They were wrong and the medicine they gave her was enough to help her survive.

A few days after I was born, my dad got into a construction accident where he fell multiple stories, injuring his lower body. The doctors said that his legs would have to be amputated on account of the many seriously fracture bones as well as a broken hip. The next day, when blood was still going to his legs, he was rushed to the operating room.

A year after my birth my mom gave birth to a healthy baby boy, my brother. Today, both of my parents are alive and well. My dad can walk on his own two legs. While the doctors were wrong at first, medical and biological science still helped saved my parents. Thank God.

My parents raised me to be a person of faith, inquiry, and open-mindedness. My Christian faith helped teach me humility and faith while my parents also taught me to be curious and open-minded. I opened my mind to science and what I learned was truly awe-inspiring. This universe is truly a masterpiece that we continually try to understand and even control. Yet, there is always so much more out there, even things that we will never be able to comprehend. But for me, even studying a bit of the masterpiece is enough to humble me and put me in awe.

I have never considered science to contradict Christianity. Rather, science is a compliment to my faith as it gives me a unique perspective on science, one where I see science as a means of revealing God's grandeur.

My interests in science eventually became more specific as my love for the biological science grew. Some prefer to peer outwards, into the ever expanding universe. I prefer to peer inwards, into cells, into life. As a child, I would use a microscope to try to find out what saliva and boogers were made of. I even used Q-tips to remove such material before placing them onto a slide. I still have an interest in doing things like that but in the future, I want to be the person behind a microscope and other equipment trying to find out what is wrong with my patient.

I don't want anyone to lose a loved one like I could have. I want to help people live. I want to combine this passion to help others and my passion for the biological sciences in order to become a doctor someday. I want to help people survive until they can die peacefully of old age after living a fulfilling life. The biological sciences major at Cornell's College of Agriculture and Life Sciences is perfect for helping me on my journey to become a doctor.