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Common Application Essay - It's more about my personal philosophies than experiences.


j814wong 3 / 9 2  
Dec 22, 2012   #1
The overall essay has a focus towards my personal philosophy along with some experiences to back it.
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I my opinion, It is the duty of a human blessed with free will to labor mold his own soul. We are molded into existence by forces beyond our means but our existence after birth is completely dependent on our own actions. I have no intention of simply dying after a quietly lived life but rather intend to die after having devoted many years to aid to those in need and then be beckoned toward pearly gates. For this reason, I've have assigned to myself a few duties to perform until my death as both a means of to internal peace and eternal bliss. As a Christian, I will be faithful and humble. As a student, I will be curious and dedicated. As a human I will be caring and passionate. Only by completely such self assigned duties can I eventually die and say "life well live".

To like is defined as simply holding something in favor. But to love something, mere appreciation and liking is not enough. First, the liking must be fervent. Second, one must attempt to comprehend both the object of one's love and one's reasons for loving that object in the first place. Loving is therefore a inwards and outwards search. But to understand the love one has for an artist, one must understand his works. As a Christian, to love God, I cannot simply follow his teachings. I must also learn of his creations to truly appreciate everything.

Watching NOVA really sparked my love for science. I love science because it, in its broadest sense, involves looking both out to the stars and into the body. Looking outwards, we learned of the Big Bang and how the universe resulted from the point of singularity. Looking inwards, we learned that humans were intelligently guided to evolve into beings fit to survive and thrive. All this, I learned from NOVA before anywhere else. To be in the presence of a masterpiece as this universe can be humbling to any person. Even though I have much to learn, I know more than enough to know that there is so much more that begs to be discovered.

Evelyn Beatrice wrote of Voltaire the commonly misattributed (to Voltaire) phrase "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". this phrase also perfectly defines me in the regard of my views on diversity. As a student, I seek to challenge my mind not only by studying facts but also entertaining opinions. I enjoy reading the ideas of others and having spirited discussions with friends even if they challenge my own beliefs because the challenge will always be in my favor: My own believes will either be strengthened to withstand others or changed if what I read or hear of is better than my previous thought of a matter. Diversity is one of the greatest intellectual challenges. As such, it is very important to be tolerant of others as a learning experience.

I hold community service in very high regard. As a Christian, it's important for me to help others and to show compassion. As a human, I feel a drive to help fellow humans. In all my years of community service, my favorites activities were helping with New York Blood Center blood drives and cooking for families at the Ronald McDonald House with my Key Club. Especially in the latter activity, i feel most rewarded when the worried families of hospitalized patients can be treated to meals made by people who care and can make conversation to help alleviate stress and some worries.

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Any tips on how to conclude the essay? I've never been able to get any good conclusions here or in school essays. Even if the rest of the essay turns out fie, the conclusion is always weak.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Dec 22, 2012   #2
Before you move on to a conclusion, I suggest that you really think about your essay. It comes across as a little vague and leaves me with many questions. How has your philosophy developed? What events have shaped it? The things you wrote don't say much about what you do in a day or what goals you have for the future, or how you apply your philosophy to real life.
OP j814wong 3 / 9 2  
Dec 22, 2012   #3
I believe in theistic evolution.

I don't believe good works alone gets people into heaven. That's just my view. Of course, other denominations may have a whole other thing to say about this.

In your opinion, just how much personal and real world examples should I put to be enough? What is you opinion on the tone of the essay?


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