Scholarship / Scholarship Essay - degree vs a positive contribution to society [5]

Question: How will obtaining a college degree enable you to make a positive contribution to society?

Essay:

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." I have dreamed and I have looked into my heart and one day I hope to become a doctor where I will get the joy of saving lives every day. However, this will never be possible with out a Ph.D. and many years of college and training. Ever since I was in the fifth grade when I first began studying all the systems of the human body I've wanted to become a doctor. My father always encouraged this idea because of its intrinsic and extrinsic values. I could help and interact with people as well as obtain an endlessly beneficial education. I was always taught to think of others and when I imagine the helpless lives fighting to survive I feel obliged to help. I always knew I wanted to help others medically because I truly enjoy studying the human body and applying my talents to help others is the best contribution I can make. The past few months have been an eye opener to the expenses of college especially considering I will be staying in college for about 10 or 12 years before I actually become a certified physician. But I believe the final result of becoming a doctor and saving lives outweighs the expenses I face now. I wish to one day provide high-quality care from a quality education in order to take care of my patients.

As a physician I will not only be able to help cure and save people but I can also help research, teach, and train others. For example, my mother died when I was only 14 years old of lung cancer and I would love to help research and contribute to find a cure for cancer. The opportunity to prevent other people from suffering the loss of a loved one or suffering through chemotherapy and cancer would be an immeasurable joy. Also, once I receive a college degree and become a doctor I will be able to train other hopeful medical students and help them become life-savers. "When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it - this is knowledge," from Confucius. I do not only want to use my talents and knowledge to save people, but to enlighten and teach other future doctors in order to ensure our world quality and care. In addition, I would have the chance to teach high school students, our future, about crucial ways to stay healthy. As a physician I could travel to conferences and take on interns looking to also enter the medical field. I believe your greatest gift is your health because without it you have nothing and I hope to help our society by ensuring every person with good health. With my knowledge and passion I will obtain a medical degree and inspire and cure others.

Please help my edit my essay for grammer, punctuation as well as my focus and any advice in order to make my essay the best so i can win this scholarship! :D

Scholarship / Scholarship Personal Statement (my dream of becoming a doctor) [9]

Personal Statement identifying the benefits you hope to gain from this scholarship.

From this scholarship I will be one step closer to obtaining my dream of becoming a doctor without having large student loans to repay. I have always worked hard at everything I have done whether it be getting an A in a college level class or smiling at every customer I encounter at my cashier job at The Fresh Market and I believe my hard work will pay off. I am naturally a very competitive person and can not help my tendency to want to overachieve. I have taken some of the most challenging classes at my school, become an active member of the Center of International Studies Magnet, and achieved Historian of the National Honor Society. My accomplishments have brought me the satisfaction of high achievement and I hope for them to continue to direct me to become a doctor. With the generous scholarship I hope to receive from the Kenard Lang Foundation I will be able to continue my education to the highest level. I will be able to relieve a small amount of the large financial burden my father and I are looking to bear. Most importantly, I will use this scholarship to become a physician and help others in need.

Please help edit this so it sounds appealing... and like you would truely want to award me a scholarship! Any suggestions or advice are greatly appreciated! :D

Undergraduate / 'unexplainable bond' - Burnett Honor College Essay for Entrance [4]

The Prompt: The writer Pearl Buck once said:"One face the future with one's past." What in your life and your background made you who you are today?

From the moment a mother gives birth to a child there is an unexplainable bond between them. A bond that is both indefinable and intangible. A special understanding unique and irreplaceable, such was the bond between my mother and I. The short fourteen years that I had with my mother not only gave me the foundation to live my life upon, but also provided me the strength to continue my life without her. My mothers love, and dedication in her life has inspired me, and will continue to be a driving force in my future.

There is love in truth and truth is in love. There is no greater love, nor truth, then is found in a bond between a mother and a child. The love she shows her children will stay with them throughout their lifetime. My mother taught me to love, and more importantly showed me how to love. To love my family, to love people for who they are and most important, to love my life. To overcome the hardships and realize that there is a greater meaning then we can understand and to celebrate the winnings and triumphs that life will too, provide.

Dedication can also be derived from love. My mother was a very dedicated woman who taught me to stand by my decisions in life. Her strength and dedication to her husband, her children, her hobbies and her faith shined in everything she did. It is because of my mother that I have the same beliefs and values. I take tremendous pride knowing that my mother gave me a foundation of values that has, and will, continue to aid in my successes.

Plain is boring or so my mother thought. Stand out, be different, don't let your thoughts limit you, be creative. If my mother was anything during her life, she was creative. She never was just another mother, just another wife, just another woman. She always stood up and let herself be known. She always pushed me to stand out and rise above. My strength, my uniqueness, and passion all stem from my mothers limitless creativity.

Be different, stand out, love, be true, be dedicated to what is important to you, and don't let anyone or anything hold you back. Although I lost my mother early in my life, her words will forever live in me and continue to inspire me as I start a new chapter in my life, College at the University of Central Florida.

Is my essay to broad not specifying exactly how my experiences will affect my future? I don't know please help!