Undergraduate / UOFM Ann Arbor Community Essay OF THE SELF MOTIVATED, KNOWLEDGE THIRSTY INDIVIDUALS [3]

Please let me know what I need to change, in order to make it count as an outstanding essay. Feel free to go as harsh as you want

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Word Count: 251

Defining my life into a subgroup of society is ridiculous (better word). I belong to a great body of communities which is made up of everything I dedicate my life to each and every day. Although they may all be different, there is one common factor shared; they all build up a community of self-motivated, intelligent, knowledge-thirsty people who aim to emerge as superior individuals.

Within this hybrid complex, Islam serves as the heart and soul. Even though I come from a primarily Christian society, I have come to learn being Muslim is not just a religious status but rather it is my guide to life. Praying the five daily prayers and exercising Islamic morals and behavior, proves how passionate I am about my religion.

Along with Islam, the veins of this community are infused with my Bengali roots. Twenty years ago, my parents emigrated from Bangladesh to America. Since then, the rich culture and language has been maintained through the family. Being a part of the Bengali community allows me to see two completely different worlds come together, regardless of the similarities and differences.

The commitments that are the driving force behind my creativity, leadership, and organizational skills are Student Council and Diversity Club. Both have occupied an immense deal of time in my high school career. From coordinating charity fundraisers to leading anti-bullying seminars, Student Council and Diversity Club opens me up to an entirely different level of connecting with people and practicing my creativity and positive work ethics.

Undergraduate / Significant Experience; Racism, Diversity, Acceptance -UofM Common App [4]

Grammatical corrections and word choice correction would be much appreciated! Please and Thank You!

Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

The leaves crunched under the car as the scent of fall permeated throughout the September air. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. First day of Junior High, exhilaration electrified through my veins. Little did I realize, that on that day, I had made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I walked in the orientation room, cold goose bumps shuddered across my skin as I felt hundreds of eyes fall on me.

I come from a predominantly white community. Born and raised in America by my parents, who have emigrated from Bangladesh, I knew my life was very different from all my peers. I was one of only two Muslims in school. However, I had grown to accept that I was a little different. Though, six years ago, I came across an unexpected obstacle that had drastically impacted my life.

That morning, I pulled the scarf over my head and looked in the mirror with a smile beaming across my face. I was excited to see my friends and tell them about how I have decided to start the hijab. It was a new change for me; a big step in spirituality. Being able to shine through Islam with my hijab made me so happy. Until the day I stepped through the doors and saw everyone giving me confused glares. I didn't understand, I felt so lost. At that instant, I was overwhelmed with alienation, feeling entirely out of place.

I never thought it would it would end up like it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly warn me that one day they will just have to rip the hijab off my off my head. I always played it off as a joke until the day they actually followed through with it. Kids would make statements about how wearing the hijab made me unattractive. A few adults had even told me that the hijab would hold me back, prevent me from reaching my fullest potential, and that I'll miss out on so many great opportunities because of it. But the confrontation that hurt the most, was when my best friends had explained to me that I am no longer welcome to be friends with them until I stopped wearing my headscarf. I didn't know what to think, whether what I believe is right or what society thinks is right. I have always been able to get along with people so well, but this time it was different. It was a big change for me as it was for them.

Day by day, I got stronger. Although it was tough, I stuck it out. I was finally able to grow on people through my personality and behavior. Six years later, I look back and I am so glad that I never gave up. The idea of being the only hijabi in the entire school district doesn't faze me anymore. I have earned the respect of my peers. As for the adults who worried about the great life I would miss out on, well, I can honestly say that my high school career could have not been any more successful.