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Posts by rbtrinh
Joined: Jan 29, 2013
Last Post: Jan 30, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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rbtrinh   
Jan 29, 2013
Undergraduate / Global Business at University of Southern California; Transfer essay to USC 2013 [3]

Please provide a statement (250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

Since I was just a little girl back in Vietnam, my not-too-superstitious mother has always said that life would always support my decision, and I would dream big and achieve even bigger. I never believed in her words. Guess what? She was right. Opportunities have been thrown at me ever since. And at the age of sixteen, I jumped at the chance to attend Peninsula College pursuing my AA in Port Angeles, Washington. As my graduation is approaching, transferring to USC will allow me to continue to pursuit my dream and build upon the amazing American life that I began two years ago.

What is my dream? At that time two years ago, my dream was becoming a Math Professor simply because my genuine love for Math and I wanted to convey the beauty of Math to others. But the more I got to interact with the International Club at Peninsula College, the more I grew my passion for the friendship and relations between different people from different background. Amazed by its ethnical diversity, I signed up to be the member of the club immediately. On February 2012, my college held an event called Pub Global, where people with different nationalities share their culture. Being the leader of the Vietnamese booth, I couldn't help to recognize the enormous differences between cultures, even between Chinese culture and Hongkong cultures. After three quarter of being an active member, I got voted to be the Treasurer of the International Club in winter 2012. On May 2012, I volunteered to organize a two days camping-trip for more than thirty members of the International Club in Salt Creek campsite. The culture clash was really complicated and difficult to overcome. But as that night when all of us sitting around the bonfire, laughing, joking and eating over-burned marshmallow, I realized that even significant culture differences could not stop us from integrate and become one. All we need were a little hard work. That was when I know that I was meant to make it happen. I want, no, need to bring people together, not just in a school wide, but internationally. That is why I chose to major in Global Business at University of Southern California.

Peninsula College has diverse background: there are 115 students from different nationalities. I became friends with the students, learning about their culture and organize activities for them to interact with others. I took Spanish classes to communicate with the Hispanic students in my school. Last summer, I traveled to Indonesia by myself to have a first-place experience the differences. They were really educative, but it wasn't enough. I want to challenge myself more. I found that University of Southern California is well-known for its cultural diversity as there are many people from all over the world come and study. This is the environment I want to challenge myself in. So I decided to apply to USC to chase down my dream. The rest of the story depends on your decision.

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Am I missing my objective? Do i need to go deeper to my future job??? Those are precisely 500 words.

P/S: to anyone read and leave constructive comments, I'll send you my love, my baked cookies and my best wish that you'll success in everything you're doing, because you are the BEST!
rbtrinh   
Jan 30, 2013
Undergraduate / Pass the NCLEX / Board certified; Personal statement for nursing school [4]

From an early age hearing gory stories at the dinner table and visiting him at work, through the present hearing about the various noninvasive procedures that now often replace much riskier procedures and can help much less healthy patients. There is no subject for this sentence

Just as important I was finally diagnosed with narcolepsy after many years of frustration in school and workplace.<< shouldn't point out that you were frustrated in school

You really need to check your grammar up. Just small mistakes, but it will affect you a lot.

Oh and one more, the conclusion is kinda of sudden. You need a slope for your essay to slowly comes down from its peak.


Good luck!
rbtrinh   
Jan 30, 2013
Undergraduate / Debate Team; Common App Short Answer (extracurricular) [4]

well English is not my 1st english too, so I'm not too confident in fixing yours.

But as for the thought, your essay was pretty well done. It just seems like unattached to each others. At first you were talking about how how nervous you were, then suddenly BOOM no more. What happened? did you get use to talking in front of the class? tell us more.

and you got 1000 characters, including spaces, so use wisely. Throw unnecessary words out.
rbtrinh   
Jan 30, 2013
Undergraduate / Drabble; EXTRACURRICULAR/ WORK EXPERIENCE [2]

FYI I baked cinnamon-sugar cookie last night, dedicated to anyone who review and fixed my other post. I love you!

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Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
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During my freshmen year, I picked up the art of writing drabbles. Drabble is a short writing which limited to 100 words or less. With that limitation, drabble can't cover a lot of information, but that doesn't mean it can't arouse strong feelings in the readers. I like writing drabble; it is more challenging. A masterpiece of art with only 100 words sometimes can shake the readers' emotions stronger than any average books-long novel.

Writing is the hobby which the more you do, the better you are. I write at home, on the bus, at school, while waiting. I write. It's my peaceful moment. Many times I just write because I feel the wave of inspiration, as it came from just a glimpse of images: a mom holding her daughter, a smoking man, and a skating boy on the side walk or an aged couple walking hands in hands. Once in a while, I write to escape my world: to become someone else in a few moments. As I put myself in their shoes, I tell their story, their moments. I became them in my drabbles.

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Those were precisely 998 character space included :P

Thank you for your help!!!!!!!!!!
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