Undergraduate / You can expect me to be studying hard in the room; Stanford roommate essay prompt [4]

Hey Everyone! I have been working on this essay for a few days now and my deadline is within a few days so I thought why not get some last minute feedback? As far as the essay goes it's quite self explanatory. However, after reading many others, it seems that most people have different takes on it. I have seen that you shouldn't brag about your grades, recommendations, etc. because this is the time for you to show the admission officer a little bit of who you are outside of your busy academic life. Alternatively, I've seen that you shouldn't completely convey your full crazy side or that you shouldn't try to be someone your not which I completely agree with. So here is my end product that hopefully is somewhere in between. Additionally, if you find any typos or something that just looks wrong, a notice would be tremendously appreciated. Thanks in advance for the feedback as well!

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear future Roommate,

If you haven't already noticed, I addressed you as a proper noun due to your level of importance as I expect both of us to play significant roles in our time here at Stanford. My intent for this note is that I am able to convey a little bit of who I am so that with any luck, we are able to eliminate that awkward moment in our first meet. First off, I love to listen and talk about anything, with absolutely no limits on a conversation. The relationship we develop should be unbreakable, and as my experiences as a peer mentor for freshmen in high school as well as a peer mediator, having that constant dialogue between us will get us there.

Life so far has shown me to constantly keep busy in order to be productive, therefore you can expect me to be studying hard in the room, working with an engineering organization, or exercising at the gym. Be that as it may, you can equally expect me to play hard by embracing my surroundings, such as exploring the town for new routes to run, finding local venues for upcoming concerts, and taking advantage of the sensational Stanford community to meet new people. These are only some activities I wish for you to be apart of in hope that you introduce me to various new experiences as well. I undoubtedly know we will have similar interests in common and look forward to numerous discussions about architecture, music, design, sports, style, engineering, and unfortunately, our occasional female difficulties.

Regrettably, you will also cross some of my flaws. This may include, but is not limited to, my many references and impersonations of my favorite films and a tendency to perfect little details of my living space. However, I am willing to look past your imperfections if you can too.

It is with much hope that I was successfully able to display who I am, and I look forward to the day we meet in person along with establishing our everlasting friendship with a solid, firm handshake.

Respectfully,
"My name"

Undergraduate / It is truly a breathtaking moment ; Transfer application [5]

Hey everyone! I am applying to transfer to another college and just need some last minute feedback on my essay for the application. The prompt is quite simple and I like the direction my essay is in, but my main fear is something sounds off or my conventions need some help. Thanks again in advance for the help!

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

It is truly a breathtaking moment when one becomes aware of his or her passion. For some it happens in a matter of seconds as they are captivated by what they have been subjected to. Others, like myself, realize that their passion has always surrounded them but just needed time to fully reveal itself. My love for design, architecture, and engineering began it's revelation through a series of numerous school projects. In high school, I was presented with the challenge of constructing a bridge made entirely out of toothpicks that could withhold a maximum weight of ten pounds. The next month with my group members consisted of various design drawings, crucial precise measuring, and a plethora of trial and error experimentation. Our end result was successful, but the true joy came from the principles of teamwork, planning, and critical thinking acquired that day.

Throughout high school, I obtained and applied a significant amount of academic lessons. However, it was my first year engineering course in college that truly tested my intellectual capabilities. My objective was to produce fifteen volts with a self-sustaining form of wind, water, or solar energy made with the materials provided. It was a one person project and the pressure to demonstrate my intelligence was distinctly apparent. I spent the last half of the semester researching, observing wind, water, and solar behaviors, and perfecting my final design. The outcome of my project produced seventeen volts with the use of the solar panels I assembled. Ultimately, the importance of self-determination, accountability, and patience taken will be forever ingrained in my journey to become an elite civil engineer.

These experiences have instilled within me the idea to consistently push my limits and strengthen my knowledge and enthusiasm for what I love. I believe our dreams and passions are what make us unique individuals, and having others there to encourage and assist us is truly a blessing.